Kamek: Hey Grantette nice boobs or whatever.
How ‘bout I buy you a drink?
Grantette: That’s rude Kamekette.
You didn’t have to start the conversation with words about my body.
And...
I just...I don’t know if you’re really my type anyway Kamek...we’re so different
and considering you raised Bowser and now he’s got a bunch of kids...you’re basically
a grandfather...maybe hit on someone your own age?
Geeze!
Kamekette: aaaah my balls they match my azure cloak!
Grantette: I’ve got my mind on another girl anyway.
You could say the internet, like any person, speaks through its actions.
From the depths of the collective mind spills society’s true desires into the form of...well
our collective desires take many forms.
MEMES for example.
When memes rise and fall...their popularity and eventual decline reflects what the collective
societal mind finds amusing or interesting or hilarious or hawt at the time.
And so when given the opportunity to express its true feelings about the world and the
games we play within this world...the internet spoke with poise about what it truly wanted.
BOWSETTE!
Mario you lucky son-of-a-bitch.
All these years of chasing after Peach’s heart and vaggeene while trying to stop Bowser
and in one fell swoop you’ve quelled the Mushroom Kingdom’s greatest villain and
gettin’ the ole victory pole the rubadub you deserve.
Now you can leave the club of glum grapes behind for the guild of sweet release.
Blue balls is no joke.
“It’s a real medical condition!”
Alright alright that was an abstract and boldly...erotic start.
BUT when we dive deep into the memes of the hour...is there any other way?
From the meme ancestors of yesteryear to the recent memes of literally last year there
has been a series of stepping stones which ultimately brought us to the memes we’re
italian sausage-deep in at this very moment.
You think I’m exaggerating?
NAY!
Such historical context is essential to building the hype AND busting open the mysterious-nut
that is Bowsette.
AND I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT ALL THE NUTS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED!
I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT HOW THIS LOVELY KOOPA LADY CAME TO BE...WHAT IT MEANS AND WHERE
THE MEME WILL TAKE US.
Oh the places we’ll go, Bowsette!
GIT OUTTA HERE MARIO IT’S MY CHANCE TO IMPRESS.
What’s that bowsette?
You’re already taken and you find my inappropriately bold advances to be not cool and a little
creepy?
Yeah well..you’re….
SCREW IT KAMEK I TAKE IT BACK PLZ TAKE ME AWAY.
Grant: Buy me a castle, promise you’ll be gentle and I’ll call you daddy.
A sugar daddy preferably...in case that wasn’t clear from the castle request.
Anyway let’s getta out of here uhh I’m hoppin on your broomstick now IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN LET’S GO.
If you’re ready to learn something today...then put on your super crown, sketch yourself in
the body of a hot chick - wait just kidding - you already are hot AND PREPARE YOURSELF
FOR THE STORY OF A FAMILY FRIENDLY FRANCHISE GONE SEXUAL NOT CLICKBAIT, FOR SEX APPEAL
BROUGHT TO THE LEAST SEXY FRANCHISE, THIS IS THE STORY OF UNCHARTED TERRITORY FOR MAINSTREAM
VIDEO GAMES...We’re talking about Bowsette people...THE STORY...you never knew.
To understand a meme, you must first understand where it came from.
Rewind to...the Nintendo Direct on September 13th!
As Nintendo was showing off their dope new stuff and teasing at things to come, along
came a trailer for New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe.
Turns out you can play as Toadette..cool.
But!
She can power-up by donning this here “super crown” and BAM!
She transforms into Peachette.
Which is better than Toadette apparently.
So far so innocent.
However, when Nintendo decided to plop this super crown into the game...it raised far
more questions than anticipated.
For instance...if Toadette can use a super crown to turn into Peachette...can others?
Forums debated, drawings were made, and eventually...eventually one memey comic summed up everything the community
had ever jested.
That’s only a slight exaggeration because HOLY SHIT.
The reaction to this particular comic or visual fanfic or whatever you wanna call it ensured
that a meme was born.
It goes: Bowser and Mario both ask to take Peach’s hand in marriage, she refuses them
both because THIS GIRL HOLDIN’ OUT FOR A BETTER OPTION (a la the end of Super Mario
Odyssey).
Also Peach is her own woman who totally doesn’t need a man in her life despite literally being
the apex of a damsel in distress for the last three decades.
Is this Nintendo’s commentary on society as we know it, claiming that now more than
ever woman have become independent in ways previous generations never thought was possible?
Probably not.
Then Mario is comforting Bowser, BUT Bowser’s got the super crown so just as Peach is probably
embracing the single life she sees the two men she rejected dating each other and one
of them is her.
That’s a mindfuck right there.
Well done ayyk92!
Well done.
And also your welcome, lovely viewer, for narrating a comic you could have read yourself
and probably already have.
I’m here to please.
Anyway, hot drawings of everyone’s favorite mushroom kingdom characters flooded the internet
after ayyk92 showed us what was possible...twitter, youtube, deviantart, instagram (and probably
facebook and tumblr i dunno I don’t really go on those much) Bowsette had totally become
a thing.
A MEME.
Now then.
What does all this mean?
The internet going ham over something isn’t exactly new...but, as I so flowerily described
towards the beginning of this video, the fact this particular thing happened at all means
something deep about what the internet really wants.
Dank memes and hot fanservicey fan drawings of course!
But when a family friendly franchise like Mario gets sexy on the largest of scales and
Nintendo is awkward and embarrassed, like it’s prom night and they know what’s going
to happen, there is clearly something bubbling in depths of the collective internet consciousness
that dear sweet Nintendo never predicted.
To explain this curious phenomenon we must go back.
Back...to Super Mario Odyssey!
One of the most successful Mario games ever.
It’s an epic, dope journey that’s fun for all ages.
And yet...the ending left us dangling a little bit.
And those dangling bits were sore.
PER USUAL.
Allow me to explain.
The saying goes, “the princess is in another castle.”
Eventually you do find her but then what?
Maybe a peck on the cheek and then every game Mario’s gotta start his game all over to
impress the princess?
TALK ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP NEVER GOING ANYWHERE.
The idea of Mario and Peach as a couple has been the driving force behind what little
there is in the Mario storyline.
That and the fact that Bowser is always kidnapping Peach.
We’re always down to see Mario thwart Bowser, and we’ve all been waiting, our entire lives,
for the day Mario and Peach get together and do.
The.
hokey.
Pokey.
CUZ THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.
IT’S WHAT.
IT’S ALL.
ABOUT.
But this ending...ONLY GAVE US THE BOWSER THWARTING PART!
Bowser gets bested and his forced marriage attempt gets busted but then Peach shakes
her head at both of them and basically leaves them both stranded on the moon.
Mario’s got hops though so it’s fine.
I think you get the idea.
Peach rejected Mario!
Again.
This wasn’t exactly a picture perfect happy ending.
It was a great ending just not the one people wanted, necessarily.
Peach not being stoked on Mario right now?
Gasp!
Is this Nintendo’s commentary on how sexuality in our society has slowly shifted over the
last three decades and it’s become more and more acceptable to date who you want when
you want regardless of your gender and also how cliche ideas such as “the princess and
the pauper” have been played out relentlessly throughout Mario’s lifespan and perhaps
people are now finding that romanticized storylines are just that, romanticized?
Probably not.
Moving on.
And so the first part of the beast which became Bowsette was born.
Mainly about three decades worth of blue balls between Mario and Peach.
But the second part of the beast...the second part of how Bowsette came to be...that’s
where things get interesting.
Let’s talk about how much the internet loves sexy stuff.
Sex even.
The kind of perverted kind of impressive side of the internet that is caused and sustained
by boner-havers everywhere.
Metaphorical boner-havers.
Because this video is family friendly.
Perhaps you’ve heard of “rule 34”.
A rule klickity-clacked down into cyberspace by 4chan users...specifically from the board
/b/.
The list of rules is quite extensive...several are widely known but few are more widely known
than rule 34 which essentially says…”If it exists there’s porn of it.”
Badabing bataboom.
Now maybe this isn’t exactly a slam dunk for what the internet is like but if one were
to google one’s favorite franchise rule 34 I promise you’ll find things you never
imagined.
Five Nights at Freddy’s was never the same for me.
Please don’t do it.
PLEASE!!!
But yeah people love to draw their...unique fantasies or love to troll people cuz so much
of the internet is horny, trolly bastards.
It’s how things have always been.
It’s why Septiplier is a thing.
Its partially why a huge portion of our fans think that ryan and i are in a gay for each
other.
It’s partially why Bronies are a thing.
Funny enough ponies are actually a part of rule 34.
So when we ask...how did Bowsette come to be the meme-star she is today the answer is
a perfect storm of how the internet is feeling.
How mario fans are feeling, and how YOU (definitely you) and maybe I are feeling.
It’s quite the feeling.
Take the fact we’ve all been scratching our heads since Fall of 2017 over the ending
of the wildly popular Super Mario Odyssey, throw in the fact the internet is always horny
and always trolly, sprinkle in this information from the Nintendo Direct, and you get the
perfect storm for a legend to be born.
Cause if you think about, why does rule 34 exist?
Yes, obviously because someone wrote it, but where is its core?
Where does all this erotica about Captain Planet and as told by ginger come from?
Well friends, the answer is balls.
Blue balls.
like our precious medallions are being squeezed gently but firmly by a very weak man, or a
strong child.
Every franchise has characters we think are hot (or so not sexual it would be hilarious
to make them as such) but rarely is fanservice ever taken to the highest level.
And nintendo is REALLY good, at giving us all cerulean spheres.
FOR THIRTY YEARS we’ve been chasing peach, and no matter WHAT it ends in disappointment!
DISAPPOINTMENT!
But not when Bowsette is down TO APPRECIATE OUR OVERALLED HERO!
Thank you, aayk92.
I’d like to take a moment to thank anyone who has ever put a lewd drawing of their favorite
franchise into cyberspace.
You make the world...a little bit..stranger.
And better.
Indeed how could Bowsette, given all this, NOT be the biggest thing since Ugandan Knucks?
As far as where we’ll go from here...the answer to that...lies in the wants and needs
of all us throwing our “thoughts” and “feelings” into cyberspace.
That’s the story of Bowsette.
The story of the internet's cobalt cojones and their sweet release.
The Story You Never Knew.
And...that’s my take on Bowsette!
What did you think?
Let me know down below if I nailed the psychological underpinnings of the biggest phenomenon this
side of Labor Day.
Anyway if you liked this video I’d recommend clicking or tapping that subscribe button
and smashing that bell so you get notified as soon as we post a video.
Go ahead.
It’ll be right here for you.
It’s not an illusion...I promise.
And hey, if you made it this far why not watch the story you never knew on Ugandan Knuckles?
It’ll blow your mind and melt your brain.
You know what to do.
I’m Grant, that’s all I got for today and I’ll see you all next time.
Bye!