They can endure the cold reaches of space.
Go without food or water
for up to 30 years.
And are nearly indestructible.
But they’re like
really tiny.
So, there’s not a whole lot
we can do with them.
However.
What if tardigrades were the size of humans?
This is a tardigrade.
"You can call me tardy,
but I'm always on time."
(Laughs)
"Yeah..."
Kind of looks like an eight-legged bear
doesn’t it?
Well, an eight-legged bear
from your nightmares is more accurate.
(Monster screech)
While only measuring in at
1.2 millimeters (0.05 inches) max,
these little guys are tough as nails.
Tardigrades are classified as extremophiles.
"A wha-what-a-phile!?"
"Woah, woah, woah!"
This means that they can roll with the punches
in whatever extreme environment
they call home.
They can go 30 years
without food or water,
thrive in an absolute zero
or above boiling temperature,
and survive in pressures
six times that of our
ocean’s deepest trenches.
These teeny tanks
can thank a unique protein for their resiliency,
known as Dsup,
which is short for “damage suppressor”.
So, what would life be like
if tardigrades had a growth spurt?
Well, picture this.
You’ve got a nice little pond in your backyard.
It’s quaint, relaxing,
and really brings the whole yard together.
Well, freshwater sediments
like your pond
may have as many as
25,000 tardigrades per liter,
or almost 100,000 of them per gallon.
But now, things aren’t as cozy.
Imagine taking a look out your window
and seeing 25,000 human-sized tardigrades
dogpiled in your backyard.
Our planet would be swamped
with giant tardigrades.
Okay, there’s got to be a plus side to this.
Maybe we could use them for something?
What if you rounded up a posse and went
hunting for tardigrade?
Could we use their hard outer hides
to create protective wear
and get some of that sweet, sweet Dsup
for ourselves?
Tardigrades are encased in a rugged,
flexible cuticle.
Imagine a cow with
armor similar to the exoskeletons
of grasshoppers.
Maybe the military could use this
pliable yet sturdy material
for some heavy-duty tardigrade armor?
Those are some cool ideas,
but remember what I said about them
being extremophiles?
Yeah, they’re not going down that easy.
They don’t even care about things
that would give humans a run for their money.
Take droughts for example.
A dry environment might trigger a tardigrade
to go into a cryptobiosis state.
The tardigrade will squeeze
all the water out of its body,
retract its head and limbs,
and roll up into a little ball,
and become dormant.
This is known as a “tun”.
When in this form,
the tardigrade’s metabolism slows to 0.01%
of the normal rate.
And it can maintain this halted state
for decades,
until it again comes into contact with water.
"What the..."
"Hey, cut it out!"
So, now that they’re asleep,
you might be thinking
it's the perfect time to attack.
Well, we wouldn’t recommend it.
A giant, angry tardigrade
has eight legs and four to six claws
on each paw.
Not to mention their dagger-like teeth
that also make them ferocious killers.
Now thankfully,
we don’t have to worry about
our planet being overrun by
human-sized tardigrades,
but that doesn’t mean we can’t still
learn from them.
Because they are so resilient,
we could gain a thing or two
from these tiny titans.
Such as how to develop more resilient crops
by using their valuable Dsup protein.
I guess we could count ourselves lucky
that if tardigrades were the size of humans,
they’d be like big,
lumbering cows.
So at least they wouldn't be flying around us,
dive-bombing our heads.
Did you hear that?
It kind of sounds like a bat.
What if bats were the size of humans?
Well, that’s a story for another WHAT IF.