Most INFJs would consider themselves old souls right from the get-go… Growing up
feeling a little wiser in comparison to their chronological age, INFJs tend to feel
most like themselves when helping and advising others using their deep insights..
But how does this introspective type actually develop their
introverted intuitive skills through early childhood, into adolescence and adulthood?
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Alright, lets jump right into it starting with: Phase 1 - INFJ Childhood (Ages 1-12):
The first and most crucial phase of the development of the INFJ personality type
is the imagination-building years. More specifically, between the ages of 1-12,
the infj child goes through the most vigorous maturing of their introverted intuition.
INFJ’s are led by intuition and gut feelings, yet as a child, these functions aren’t entirely
developed yet, ultimately leading them to trust ideas, assumptions or fears that aren’t entirely
real. This dominance and development of their most dominant function can seem like ordinary
child-like imagination to some, however for the INFJ it’s much more than that.
Through imaginary play, INFJ children may strengthen this function by the creation
of imaginary friends and interests in fantasy stories, movies and characters.
Yet, it’s not always in a positive manner. In fact, INFJ children also tend to have
a difficult time with scary thoughts, imaginary fears and deep uncertainty early on. However, just
like the INFJ adult likes to keep things private, this first phase in an INFJ’s developmental years
only remains noticeable to their closest friends and family, and even then, if they
don’t know how to explain it properly, they’ll keep their imaginative findings to themselves.
Later in this developmental stage, the INFJ begins to introduce their secondary function,
extraverted feeling. As they step outside of their own little worlds, the curious infj child begins
to look outside of themselves for new information and substance for their imagination. By slowly
learning to navigate the outside world, these two main functions work together as the INFJ slowly
forms and expresses their own judgments. Yet, without the development of their third function,
introverted thinking - which allows the developed INFJ a more logical spin on their thoughts and
ideas - the INFJ child may end up expressing these new-found judgments in a seemingly
close-minded tone. By this time they become well equipped to evaluate people’s moods and motives,
but they’re not exactly sure what to do with the information. This can make the INFJ pre-teen come
off as slightly rebellious and opinionated, mostly rooted in feeling overwhelmed by the
influx of information, and possibly even disappointment in the world around them.
Phase 2 - INFJ Adolescence (Ages 12-20)
Through years of primarily perceiving intuitively with the minor influence of extraverted feeling,
once the INFJ reaches adolescence and puberty, extraverted feeling heightens
in a few crucial ways. Slowly, INFJs begin to understand the importance of
their introverted intuition and their ability to pick up on the moods and emotions of others.
They start to realize the importance of their empathy and sensitivity when it comes to their
deep-set compassion for humanity, and because of that, they may begin to feel a little more
extraverted in their overall character. In fact, it’s around this time in life that the INFJ truly
surprises themselves in their outgoing nature, even when looking back once they reach adulthood.
It’s also around this time that INFJs begin to open their eyes to the short-comings of the
world around them. They become increasingly sensitive to the injustices of the world,
and may even turn to volunteer work and charity help in their spare time.
During this teenage-stage, the INFJ becomes more aware of ways in which they can
actively help others by using their maturing introverted thinking function to strategize.
This is what often gives INFJs the pull to help or befriend the underdogs and misfits they meet.
They may try hard to fit in with the crowd for the sake of socializing
but it’s only a short amount of time before they get bored of unoriginality. In fact, once an INFJ
has reached the end of this developmental stage, their hesitancy to take things at face value and
their need to decode everything allows them to see right through the facets of popularity..which
brings us to the self-discovery stage of an INFJs life, also known as..
Phase 3 - INFJ Early Adulthood (Ages 20-35) By the time the INFJ has reached their early
twenties they become more independent and less reliant on outer stimulation.
Not only do they begin to become their own person, but it’s around this time that INFJs develop
their boundary-setting skills as they become more critical of their previous people-pleasing habits.
Depending on the INFJ, these realizations may happen early in their twenties, or later on in
their thirties; but when they do happen, the people around the INFJ can definitely be taken
by surprise. In fact, once this empathetic type has reached a certain level of maturity,
their new found determination for autonomy can even end up offending the people around them.
This is especially true for INFJs that find themselves ending one-sided or emotionally abusive
relationships during this time period. Although it’s extremely challenging and out of character,
once the INFJ realizes the strength and power in their empathic gifts, they can’t help but
to take the appropriate measures to protect their energy. However, it’s a slippery slope according
to personality type Author Dr. A.J. Drenth who claims that right around an INFJ’s 20s-30s,
they feel unsteadily influenced by their inferior function extraverted sensing,
which he refers to as the main culprit behind the INFJ’s occasional unwise career and relational
decision-making around this time. With that being said, at the start of this self-evolution,
most people with the infj type can feel seriously unstable or unlike themselves
to the point of considering this conscious shift as nothing but a quarter-life crisis.
Little do they know it’s just the start of the INFJ’s wisest years..but only if they can find the
maturity to reach it. Leading us right into the final stage of the INFJ cognitive development..
Phase Number 4: INFJ Adulthood (Ages 35 and up)
Now, of course all time frames vary from person to person, and for this final development phase,
sometimes it’s not reached until much later in life. In fact, some sources say that the
more stubborn INFJs never fully engage with this stage in their cognitive evolution. And that's the
deeper understanding and integration of their inferior function extraverted sensing. Like we
said, extraverted sensing can be difficult for an INFJ to use to their advantage when they’re
first getting used to it because of the influx of information they experience at all times. Although
most types end up getting more introverted as they get older, the INFJ can reach a point that
they actually get a little unsettled when simply relying on their imagination and day-to-day life.
Once this intuitive type is able to actively integrate their extraverted sensing properly,
they actually enjoy the company of others in the sense that they don’t have the strong independent
pull that they once did. At some point, all INFJs long for is to interact with the world
around them, with the full understanding of their boundaries and energy levels.
Aside from socializing, INFJs may feel called to utilize this least dominant function by starting
a hobby that requires use of their hands and creativity. Whether it’s an instrument,
a new exercise regimen or a craft of some sort, this perfectionistic type can be met with a
new found sense of detail-oriented sensing. In fact, with extraverted sensing properly in use,
the INFJ is able to finally enjoy artistic hobbies with full attentiveness and without
the need for constant self-criticisms. This is the point where most INFJs can
feel that sense of wholeness within themselves regardless of certain outer circumstances.
Well, that wraps up today’s video PSYCH-Os.. So, if you’re an INFJ yourself, do these developmental
stages sound familiar? Let us know in the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us a like, share
this video with your friends and also subscribe to our channel so that you never miss a video!