Transcriber: Vy Bao Reviewer: Hani Eldalees
No matter how early I got to the airport,
Julius was always earlier.
This is the greatest first line to a eulogy I've ever heard. Why?
Because it brought him back to life.
We had one last moment with him.
You see him there in the airport, don't you? Waiting patiently, individual.
He’s back.
And my grandmother’s funeral, my aunt opened with:
Look at all of you here from all over the country, and just for her,
Neny would have hated to have missed this.
None of you have ever met my grandmother,
But you can already imagine her smile and you can feel her warmth.
For a brief moment, she's back.
My grandmother's funeral was one of three that I've spoken at.
It could be because I’m trained as a musician and I’m comfortable on stage,
Or it could be that others who may have wanted to they didn't feel prepared
or ready in the moment or somehow the sea of mourners saying,
I’m sorry for your loss, overwhelm them.
That’s why I’m here today.
Because delivering a eulogy is
an opportunity to share something beautiful.
And I don't want you to miss it.
After your opening lines, bring them back to life,
Tell stories, great stories, the ones that some will know, but not everybody.
They can, of course, include professional accomplishments,
but they can also be funny or quirky.
For my father's funeral, I debated between three memories that included his
intense fear of escalator's,
his eclectic love of both country and Western music and bagels,
and his sincere worry that someday, somehow,
a squirrel would successfully make the leap from a tree 20 metres away
and gain entry into his apartment. With the funny stories.
You need not worry about offending anybody seriously
on the off chance that you do,
You will have given everybody the greatest gift of all.
They will actually be distracted from their morning for a moment
and focused on you.
It’s a win win situation.
To conclude.
Do the thing that strategically has to be left for the very end.
You have to say goodbye.
You have to say what the person meant to you
at the funeral of civil rights leader Rosa Parks
Oprah Winfrey closed with: “I marvel at your will
I celebrate your strength to this day
and I am forever grateful.”
for my father.
I basically said that the real difficulty was saying goodbye not only to a friend,
but to a part of myself that only existed in him.
The actual quote, though, I won't share because
I was only physically able to say it once.
But that’s fine, because you only need to do this once. Bring them back to life,
Tell stories. Say what they meant to you.
If you’re ever asked to deliver a eulogy, say yes.
Share the part of someone that existed only in you.
You can do this.
I marvel at your will.
And I really am sorry for your loss.
Thank you.