In all my years of clinical practice, the power of body image never ceases to
amaze me. Some of the patients that come in to see me lead the most amazing and
rewarding lives - excelling in their careers, raising loving children, and
spending time with good friends. Yet, despite any success, they view themselves
as failures because of their body image. Whether it's their weight or some
perceived flaw, their social encounters often reinforce their sense of failure
with body shaming and name-calling. In today's episode of Reaction Reset, we're
talking about resetting your body image mindset. It's disheartening to know
that some people carry so much shame and guilt about their body that they don't
actually know what a healthy body image looks or feels like. Before we get
started, here are a few signs that you have a healthy body image. (1) When someone
compliments you on your appearance or fitness, you can accept the compliment
as genuine. (2) It's not hard to find an outfit you feel comfortable and
attractive in. (3) Or you can admire someone else's body without criticizing or
judging your own. (4) You rarely compare yourself with others. (5) You can name
several parts of your body that you like and appreciate. You may
wonder where you developed a poor body image; after all, no one is born with a
poor body image. Usually, it begins in childhood when you're repeatedly
hearing a parent or a relative talking about their own body or
making comments about your body. Maybe your mom complained about her thighs, or
your uncle made an offhand comment about how you were getting a little pudgy.
These negative tapes became very powerful, because when you're small you accept or
reject your body depending on what those closest to you tell you about your body.
If they notice or judge your body in a negative way,
that becomes your truth and is stored in your brain as your internal self-talk.
Every person who has ever been teased or called a name remembers when
and where it happened. Shaming affects people on a deep, intimate level
lowering confidence and self-esteem.
In January, many people made New Year's resolutions to improve themselves.
Some decided to get a makeover, started an exercise, planned a new wardrobe,
and some even turned to plastic surgery. Changes we make to our body can it be
exciting and it's motivating but only temporarily. For today's Reaction Reset,
I'm challenging you to try something different - a healthy body image plan
Because no matter what you change on the outside, you will only feel good about
yourself long-term when you change how you view yourself from the inside.
So here's six ways to get started on your new healthy body image plan. First of all,
replace the self-hate or verbal abuse you inflict on your body with positive
attributes. An example of this may be when you habitually tell yourself or
others, "I hate my thighs." Interrupt yourself with, "but I like the shape of my
ankles." Your body is going to respond to hearing good things about it.
Remember that those comments must come from you to make a difference. Secondly, create a
value list. Body dysmorphia happens and it happens
most commonly with people who have been shamed or teased. To create a more
positive body image, you must keep a list of what you do value about your body.
As you practice writing positive things, you'll notice more motivation and you're
going to feel more confident. You should always reward yourself for
each small healthy change you make. If you struggle with your body image, you
understand how defeated you can feel on those days when you get off track.
You will have good and bad days when you're forming a new habit...expect those bad days,
but don't give yourself time to wallow in them. It's much more important
to congratulate yourself when you do succeed. Fourthly, don't let others enable
unhealthy habits you may have once shared. You are working on developing a
healthy relationship with yourself - that means advocating for YOU.
Love yourself enough to let go of people holding you back. It's also important to
enlist the help of a support group as you go through personal improvements.
It's easier to stay committed if you have someone counting on you to continue
your healthy body image lan. Finally, NOW is the time to begin. Do not wait for the
wedding or a reunion or a special event to begin your healthy body image plan.
Life doesn't stop or give you time to get healthy, nothing changes until you do.
I mentioned before that no one is born with a poor body image. I've seen
children with terrible birth defects grow up to see themselves as beautiful
and special. Unfortunately, I also have seen beautiful people with terrible body
image problems. If you're a parent, how you talk about your body and your
child's body will become the image they will carry throughout their life.
Take steps today to accept and love the vessel you were given to experience life.
Your body is a wonderful gift, don't abuse it.
Remember, change your reaction, change your world.