In this video, we're going to be discussing seven signs that your ex didn't want to break
up with you, but felt that they needed to for one reason or other.
Now stick around to the end because some of these signs are going to be a little bit strange.
But stick with me, because I promise this will all make sense by the time we get to
the end of this.
But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you are looking for.
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Okay, so let's go ahead and get into this.
So the first sign that your ex did not want to break up with you is if they treated you
actually pretty fairly and reasonably after the breakup and during the breakup.
We've talked about this before in other videos, but your ex needs to create an image of you
in their mind to justify why they broke up with you.
And many times, they'll distort the truth and create a negative image of you, in order
to really tell themselves and convince themselves that they made the right choice in breaking
up with you.
So if you're finding your ex isn't really doing a whole lot of that, then it means that
they really didn't want to break up with you and that they're still holding on to a reasonably
accurate, or a positive, even, image of you in their mind.
And so that's definitely one of the signs.
The second sign is if after the breakup your ex is still holding onto positive memories.
They can still admit that, yeah, there were some positive aspects of our time together.
We enjoyed doing certain things.
We had a lot of fun.
We spent a lot of great time together.
Again, if they're not distorting the past and saying, "Oh, it was terrible the whole
time," or, "Our entire relationship was nothing but a train wreck," when, really, you can
probably tell that they probably wouldn't have stayed in an awful relationship for maybe
as long as they did if it was all that bad.
But if there's not so much of that distortion going on, and they're willing to admit that
yes, there were some positive times together, then yeah, that's a sign that your ex didn't
want to break up with you.
Number three is if your ex was under a lot of stress or pressure in certain areas of
their life that maybe had absolutely nothing to do with your breakup.
Oftentimes people who are under a lot of stress or pressure, or just are dissatisfied with
certain areas of their life, they may try to take control or believe that they're taking
control of their life by influencing other aspects of their life that they think that
they have greater influence of, for example, their relationship.
Just to make this point a little bit more concrete.
I have a friend who many, many years ago, back when I was just getting started with
all this relationship advice stuff.
Him and his girlfriend actually broke up.
And if you look at what happened in the couple of months before that, my friend, he had recently
turned 30 years old.
And if you're not there yet, if you're in your 20s or something, you may not realize
this, but there's kind of this thing that kicks in when you hit a birthday with a zero
in it.
You look back at the past decade, and you check in with yourself and say, "Hey, am I
where I want to be in my life?"
If so, great.
If not, then maybe it's time to feel bad about yourself.
That's probably not the best way of dealing with it.
But that's where my friend was at at the time.
He was not in shape the way that he wanted to be.
He was starting to get some health issues as the result of that.
Additionally, his career was not going the way that he wanted it to.
He was in a job that he hated.
And he wanted to do music.
He was an aspiring musician, and his music wasn't really taking off the way that he wanted
it to.
Some other musicians he was trying to collaborate with were not responding to him in the way
that he was hoping that they would.
And so he was hitting a lot of roadblocks in that regard as well, too.
And so he was just really frustrated with where he was at in life.
And he didn't feel like he was in control of where things were going to go and his influence
and impact that he was able to have.
And so what he did, what I believe he did, was that he chose to break up with his girlfriend
in order to feel a sense of control in an otherwise out of control life.
And just so you know, they worked through that.
They got back together.
They're happily married now.
But just that's a thing that happened with him.
And that's a thing that I've seen happen in other people's relationships as well over
the years.
The fourth sign that your ex didn't want to break up is that they actually made repair
attempts during your time together, especially near the end of your relationship.
And what a repair attempt is, is there are certain interactions that you have that do
damage to the quality of the connection that you and your partner have.
Maybe that's an argument.
Maybe somebody wasn't being totally honest about something.
Maybe somebody betrayed someone's trust in some way.
Maybe somebody didn't do what they said they were going to do, or whatever.
And if there were things like that that happened, but your partner tried to fix things and tried
to repair things, by either trying to make up with you, by trying to get the two of you
on good terms, by trying to create a more positive vibe or dynamic between the two of
you, then that shows that they were invested in the relationship near the end.
They were trying to make things work.
Maybe they weren't able to do so, but at that point at least they were trying to, and that
breaking up was probably not initially what they wanted to do.
That is number four.
Sign number five that your ex did not want to break up is that they encouraged you to
actually go out and do certain things.
Now, a totally obvious example of this would be, "Okay, hey, we're having some problems
in our relationship.
Maybe we should go to counseling.
Maybe you should go see a therapist to deal with some depression that you're going through,"
or something like that.
That's a really obvious version of that.
There are also much more subtle versions of that like, "Oh hey, it seems like you're dissatisfied
with something in your life right now.
Maybe you should go join that soccer team that you were thinking of joining a few weeks
ago.
That little local soccer club," or something like that.
Or, "Maybe you should take a little bit more time for yourself to relax.
It seems like you're really stressed out."
Or, "I know that you've been feeling a lot of stress.
Maybe you should go work some of that out at the gym," or whatever it might be.
If they're encouraging you to do certain things, it shows that they're interested and invested
in the quality of your life and the quality of your experience.
And at least at the time that they're doing that, they're actually definitely invested
in the relationship.
And they didn't want that relationship to end.
Sign number six is that they talked about specific problems in your relationship.
That is to say, near the end of the relationship, maybe as things started to get bad, they would
bring up specific problems.
They weren't just like, the two of you have an argument or disagreement, they just disengage
and walk away.
But they're willing to bring up specific things like, "Oh hey, it seems like we're always
having this issue where we fight about whatever it is, money or housework," or whatever, and
they just bring it up.
And it shows that they're willing to talk about specific things.
They're trying to introduce the conversation topic of these specific things that they believe
might be causing damage to your relationship.
And this shows that they didn't really want to break up with you initially.
And it shows that at least at that point, they were still invested in their relationship.
They were still trying to find ways to work cooperatively with you to make things work
out in the long run.
Definitely a sign that your ex did not want to break up.
Now before we go ahead and get into sign number seven, do me a favor.
If you're liking this video, give it a thumbs up.
While you're down there, subscribe to the channel as well, too.
And with that being said, let's go ahead and get into sign number seven that your ex did
not want to break up.
And this one's going to seem a little bit strange.
Bear with me.
But the sign is that there was actually an increase in the amount of conflict or arguments
or disagreements that the two of you were having, followed by a sharp disengagement
afterwards.
Okay.
So we've already kind of talked about bringing up specific things, right?
Arguments, things like that.
So if that happened, but then after a period of time, maybe the arguments went on for a
few weeks or a month or something like that, and then suddenly your ex just shut down.
They started pulling away, they started to disengage and they just stopped trying.
That shows that there was a point in time when they were fighting for the relationship,
when they were trying to make it work, when they did not want to break up with you.
But then things hit a tipping point when there were just more negative interactions than
positive interactions, and they just disengaged.
They just gave up.
Initially, it comes across like them not wanting to directly address the relationship.
In most cases they just hope it gets better on its own.
They're just tired of the same old conflicts, fights, whatever.
And so they're just not willing to go there, and they're hoping that things get better
on their own.
But what's really happening is they're actually turning away from you, and turning away from
the relationship.
And of course over time, that's going to lead in a very negative place.
And so that's a sign that at least initially they wanted to work things out, but then they
just sort of slowly started to give up more and more and more.
Until eventually it reached a point where they felt they needed to walk away from the
relationship, either for their wellbeing or because the two of you were just incompatible
in their opinion, or due to any other issues that were just present between the two of
you.
So anyway, those are the seven signs that your ex did not want to break up with you.
Once again, if you like this channel, give it a thumbs up.
And subscribe to the channel if you're not already subscribed.
In the meantime, though, you may also be interested in checking out this playlist over here about
different signs that your ex wants you back.
Or you may also be interested in checking out this video over here.
Anyway, this has been Clay.
Take care and I'll talk to you next time.