A year ago I was in a computer science class when the professor made a mistake.
I was confident enough in the subject so I raised my hand and I told him he was wrong.
I've read the correct solution in the book he told us to use for the class.
I thought that since it was written in the book, logically he would admit and correct
his mistake.
Instead he went on and said that my solution was totally wrong.
I definitely didn't expect that, so I thought maybe showing him the paragraph in the actual
book will change his mind.
And after 5 minutes of heated discussion and arguing with facts, he finally said …
that the information in the book is wrong and that the he was right.
I tried persuade someone with arguing and reasoning, I thought facts will definitely
make the professor change his mind.
How silly was I ... Did I really thought that the professor is going to swallow his pride
admit he was wrong and change his mind in front of all the students JUST because I had
the correct information?
I don't think so.
So if you want to win someone to your way of thinking, never argue with them, because
as soon as you tell the person is wrong, you already lost.
I had a friend who was extremely good at persuading people.
One night we were out partying, we met a few girls in the club, and generally had a good time.
So the night came to an end and we thought that it would be great to continue the party
at our place, so we let our magnetic friend to try and convince them to come with us.
At the time I had no idea why he was so successful at persuading people but after I've read a
few books on the topic I can now clearly see how he did it.
At first he asked them if they loved to party – they were in a club so the answer was
clearly yes.
Then he asked if they had a great time tonight, the answer was yes again.
He then proceeded to ask few more questions – and he made sure that the answers to all
of them were likely to be yeses.
Finally he asked if they wanted to continue the party at our place, and sure enough they
thought that would be a great idea and said Yes.
See how he didn’t started to logically reason with them as for why they should come with
us, he got yes after yes and slowly the girls arrived at the conclusion they would've refused
few minutes previously.
Socrates, was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known.
He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply
changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death,
he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this world.
So how did he do it?
Did he tell people they were wrong?
Well not Socrates.
He was far too clever for that.
His whole technique, now called the "Socratic method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response.
He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree.
He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses.
He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents
found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.
The next time you are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, remember old Socrates
and ask a gentle question - a question that will get the "yes, yes" response.
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