(rhythmic drumming)
- [Announcer] And now, here's your host: Michael Blackson.
(audience applause)
(audience chanting)
- What's up you mothersuckers?
(audience cheering)
- Welcome to the first ever BET Social Awards.
What a perfect time.
It's Black History Month.
Black Panther is coming out.
It's on a black network.
Hosted by the blackest comedian.
(audience cheers)
Me, Michael Blackson.
But it's live, which is not black at all.
(audience laughter)
Cause when it's live, means you have to be on time.
I've been here since yesterday.
Just to make sure I don't be late
and embarrass BET or my village.
(audience laughter)
Tonight, we are honoring
some of the most influential people on social media.
Everybody uses social media.
Donald Trump use social media.
(audience booing)
Yes.
He try to deport everybody.
Mexicans, Muslims, Waffle House employees.
(audience laughter)
He try to get rid of everybody
except for that dead beaver on his head.
(audience laughter)
Tyrese use social media.
Talking about 13,000 a month.
What more do you want from me?
(audience laughter)
Tyrese, she wants 15,000.
So, as the leader of the dark-skinned committee,
I had a meeting with other dark-skinned brothers,
in a very dark room.
And we decided we are trading Tyrese
for two light-skinned brothers.
Drake and Steph Curry.
(audience cheers)
The meeting was with the president
of dark-skinned himself, Akon.
The vice president, Don Cheadle.
The secretary of state, Wesley Snipes.
And the treasurer, that nobody trusts, Flavor Flav.
(audience laughter)
(audience claps)
Kevin Hart was caught on social media,
trying to jump on stage at the Super Bowl.
But he got intercepted by the Fox security.
And now Kevin Hart tried to commit suicide,
by jumping off the curb.
(audience laughter)
Quincy Jones was on social media,
telling everybody business.
He was snitching so much,
I thought I was watching First 48.
(audience laughter)
Monique went on social media,
and said, "Hi my love,
let's boycott Netflix."
(audience laughter)
Monique, Netflix costs 10 dollars and 99 cents.
(audience laughter)
My sister, you're on your own.
(audience laughter)
Would boycott DirectTV and Comcast, but Netflix?
Try again, mothersucker.
(audience laughter)
Then she said she's the most decorator,
of all person, most decorative person.
I'm most decorative person.
Look at me.
(audience cheers)
And look at my shoes.
(audience cheers)
I have more proof that I'm most decorative person.
Look at that suit.
Look at that green suit.
(audience cheers)
That suit has every green in it.
Iguana green, money green.
Gangrene.
Even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle green.
(audience laughter)
Now that we've concluded
that I'm the most decorative comedian of all time,
let's get the show started, you mothersuckers.
(audience cheers)
(heavy rhythmic music)