- Say hello to the new video wall.
(sleigh bells and horse trots)
- What up everyone, it's your girl superwoman,
and Christmas is just a few days away,
which means magic is in the air, everyone is feeling joyous,
and also fighting over parking.
The holiday season always gives birth to crazy people
and I'm sure you know them all.
Number one, The Grinch.
Oh my god, what an original title Lilly, good job!
What, man, leave me alone.
I couldn't think of another name
for someone who ruins special occasions.
Lame.
Fine.
Number one, Kanye West.
J-K, J-K, The Grinch!
The Grinch is good.
(gleeful hum)
Now, this it the person that just straight up refuses
to get in the holiday spirit.
And it's not like they don't celebrate Christmas,
which is totally acceptable depending
on what your beliefs are,
but they always say they don't do Christmas.
You know, honestly, I hate when people say
they don't do things.
What the F does that even mean?
You know what the problem is?
People got too many damn options.
Cause, honestly, mark my damn words, okay?
When you single and lonely like me,
not only will you do Christmas, okay,
but you gonna do santa.
You gonna do the elves.
Goddamn, I'm gonna make a parody
to Demi Lovato and just be like,
♫ We're cool for the winter ♫
and do Mrs. Claus.
The point is, I'm lonely.
Wait, that wasn't the point.
What was the point?
The point is, according to The Grinch,
there is nothing special about the holidays.
So you throw an ugly christmas sweater party,
and what does this person do?
Show up wearing a suit and tie.
Just like, brah, you look more square
than the older version of Instagram, stop.
You are in a room full of people
who are intentionally wearing ugly clothes,
yet you still look like the biggest idiot.
Now you probably wanna keep this person away from your kids.
- Honey, what do you think of my new sweater?
- I love it darling, you're my little christmas tree, baby.
- Oh!
(giggles)
- Mommy, mommy!
I asked Santa for a unicorn.
- [Mom] Oh!
- That's my little boy.
- Oh, thats so cute, thats so sweet Chris,
except for the fact that Santa is a lie,
just like the tooth fairy, the easter bunny,
your parents' marriage, equality, and the justice system.
(record scratch)
Ain't no man comin down your chimney,
and if you hear somebody that ain't your daddy,
you should call the cops.
Because you're probably getting robbed,
or your momma having an affair,
or that lady from "The Grudge"
finally found your ass on Google Maps.
That's right, that man that you saw at the mall
is a nasty, old, divorced, hairy ass man in a suit,
and you sat on his lap like a little ho.
So, if you want a unicorn,
here's some asparagus and some tape.
(rustling of tape)
- Merry Christmas. God bless.
(jaunty music)
- Number two, Christmas Crackheads.
Christmas. Chris.
I feel like I've said Christmas too many times,
it's not a word anymore.
Chris, christmas. Christ miss?
Christ. God damn it!
Now, these are the parents who are probably experiencing
the first few Christmases with their young kids,
and they're going to go out of their way to ensure
their little baby experiences every little bit
of the Christmas holiday magic as possible.
And it's so annoying.
- Come on over, young man.
How have you been?
Have you been a good boy this year?
- Look over here!
- Come on baby.
Right here, right here! - [Dad] Come on Chrissy.
- [Dad] Right here.
- Come on. - [Dad] Look at your momma.
- [Mom] Come on! - [Dad] Look at her.
- If you do it you don't have to take a shower tonight.
- Come on, be a big boy!
It's Santa!
(clanking)
Chris! Over here!
Look at your dad!
Are you being naughty?
I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna call Santa's workshop right.
Should I just? - [Mom] He's calling.
- [Dad] I'm gonna call Santa's Workshop right now.
- [Mom] You should call.
- [Dad] Santa? Is that you?
Chris is being, he's being naughty.
- [Mom] Just a little bit.
Come on, here we go.
(whispers)
- [Dad] Oh, he's so cute.
- [Mom] Oh, he's so cute.
- We just love you so much!
Oh, who's Santa's little helper?
- Oh my god, other people are waiting to take pictures.
What are you guys doing?
- Hey, this is my baby's Christmas!
Step back.
Don't ruin it.
Come on baby.
- Oh, who's Santa's little baby?
- It's like those people that try
to take selfies with their dog,
but their dog just won't like cooperate,
and now you have a whole bunch of like blurry pictures.
Except for the fact that, like, your dog
is probably better than a child.
Of course I'll baby sit!
Number three, The Nutcracker.
AKA the holiday police.
Now, these are the people
that are not only serious about Christmas,
but they're very serious about all the rules
and regulations associated with Christmas.
And I know you know one of these people, okay.
They throw these themed parties
that have very specific dress codes,
where, like, you would never own anything
that satisfies their dress code,
so now you gotta like buy sometihing new
and it's really annoying.
I personally don't have any friends like that.
Just kidding! Chase.
My friend Chase.
Chase, this is about you, I'm talking about you.
- [Casey] What are you doing?
- Oh, hey, how's it going?
- Uh, I said red sweater.
- Yeah, you like it?
- No, no, no, this is poppy red, I said ladybug red.
This is poppy red, this is ladybug red.
I sent you the swatch.
- They won't let you open any Christmas gifts early.
They won't let you cheat in any Christmas games,
and I'm sitting over here like, brah,
you ain't gonna let me cheat making this gingerbread house?
You know how much egg nog I had over here?
Don't let the glass fool you
just cause it's not see through.
I'm crunk as ever, kay?
This ain't gonna be a house,
this gonna be a gingerbread teepee
if you don't let me cheat right now.
I love teepees!
And heaven forbid you F anything up.
Yeah, it's game over.
♫Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul
♫ WIth a corn cob pipe and a button nose
♫ and two eyes made out of gold♫
(group cheers)
- Coal, coal.
Eyes made out of coal, not gold.
- Yeah , coal, gold, maybe they're gold.
- Where are the kids getting gold from these days?
Are they miners?
Is Frosty from Dubai?
Coal.
- I mean, okay, maybe one eye could be made of gold
and the other one could be made of coal.
- No, then so, what, he can only see out of one eye?
His name is Frosty, not Fetty Wap.
You guys are ruining Christmas.
♫ With a jolly, happy soul
♫ With a corn cob pipe and a button nose
♫ And two eyes made out of gold ♫
- Number four, Will Power Willy.
(laughs) Willy.
Let's get one thing clear, okay?
You're supposed to eat junk food during the holidays.
You're supposed to gain weight.
You're supposed to be fat.
I mean, look at Santa.
Santa's fat, okay, and I feel like it's only
the right thing to do to follow his footsteps on Christmas,
since it's his birthday.
There's eight reindeer for a reason.
It's because Santa's fat.
If Santa wasn't fat, we would need less reindeer,
and to be honest, then we can get rid of some
of the pansy reindeers we don't need,
like freaking, like F-ing Prancer.
Why is Prancer the, I hate Prancer.
What kind of reindeer is Pra,
I see Prancer as like the Uber X of reindeers.
You know what, I just can't.
I don't mean to hate, I just, let's just get rid of Prancer
Okay, because I just can't take this life seriously
with Prancer there.
Back to my point.
Be fat during Christmas.
So, what did you do today?
- Oh, just an hour of pilates.
How about you?
- I ate cake.
- Cookies anyone?
- Yes.
I'll just take another one, thanks.
- Oh, no thank you, I can't.
- What do you mean, "you can't"?
- I'm on a strict diet, I have a photo shoot coming up.
- But it's Christmas.
- Fitness doesn't go on holiday.
- Just have a cookie.
- No, no thank you Lilly.
- Cassie, have a cookie.
- No, I'm not going to have a cookie.
- Don't do this, Cassie, have a cookie.
- I'm not having a cookie!
- Just have a cookie!
- What is wrong with you?
I don't want a cookie, don't make me eat a cookie!
- We're in Christmas!
Stop ruining Christmas , have a damn cookie!
Oh, what, oh, you're better than me now because you won't,
just because my body's 80% water and 20% muffins,
you're better than me?
You know what, fine, you know, I'll have the cookies!
Number five, the Turtle Doves
AKA, the mother f-ing cheese balls.
Should I order cheese balls?
I'm sick and I'm hungry, don't judge me.
Also, I would do this on any other day, let's be real.
Can we be super real for a second?
Come on, shhh, come on.
Is it just me, or do people seem so much more
in love during the holidays?
On Monday.
Oh my god, like he is so annoying.
On Tuesday.
I mean, like, he's okay, I guess.
On Wednesday.
No, but like, I still don't like him.
I just can't stand the way he walks.
On Christmas.
I'm getting married!
Like, girl, you supposed to stuff the stockings
on Christmas, okay, not take them off.
- So, what is everyone doing for the holidays?
- Tinder.
- Baking paleo cookies.
- Knocking out some of those home renovations.
- I don't do holidays.
- Spending all the time I can with my favorite little elf.
- Oh, baby!
All I want for Christmas is you.
- Really?
- Yeah. Oh!
What is that?
- What, what is it?
- Oh!
- Aww, stop it, you! (coos)
Oh, Joey, you're the wreath on my door of hope.
- Oh, you're my little egg nog.
- Ooh, I can't wait to unwrap your gift tonight, huh?
- Ooh, I'll be Santa if you'll be my little helper.
- Oh, stop!
Ooh, baby, eskimo kiss, come on.
Mmm, my little snuggle button, I love you so much
(baby talk) Come here.
First you didnt even like the boy, and now it's Christmas
and all of a sudden you drinking champagne with papi?
What up, sweater reference!
♫ Ever since I left the city, you ♫
Mmm hmm, It seems like Rudolph's nose is not
the only thing getting turned on this holiday season.
Does that even make sense?
I don't even, is that even a sexy thing?
I feel like if I just say things in that tone,
it just makes them sexy,
but I'm not really sure.
Like, just like, oh, I'll jingle bell your rock,
or like, or like, mmm, I'll deck your halls.
Im sorry, I dont know.
Is this sexy?
I feel like this is just turning into
a thing about, like, home decor.
- Yo, I hope you enjoyed that video with
- Chris
- Sam
- Cassie
- Joey
- Casey
- Trey
- And me!
If you don't know who these people are,
you've gotta check them out.
All their channels are in the description,
so go show them some love.
if you like this video give it a big thumbs up.
Make sure you comm. below.
You can check out my last video right there,
you can check out my vlogs right there,
And yo, make sure you subscribe
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
Y'all wanna try my outro?
- Yes. ^ - [Cassie] Okay.
- Let's do it.
- One love.
Superwoman.
That is a wrap,
And zoop!
Did you fail?
Did you all fail?
Killing it!