[Music]
[Applause]
so I'm sure you all have heard a lot
about this election cycle it kind of is
blanketing absolutely everything that's
happening in the media I think I figured
something out I think I figured out how
we can hijack this election but to do
that I'm gonna need all of your help
okay so I'm gonna need you to come along
with me on this journey together so we
can hijack this election are you in
great I feel you
wonderful so to do this what I realized
is our strategy our platform our
platform doesn't even matter it's not
even so much about our ideas we already
have on our side
enough support that if we can just
remove some of the voters on the other
side that we can win so the entire
strategy here is just to stop people
from voting and if we can do that we can
win so how do we do that how do we stop
people from voting
so in order to do that it's going to
require us to start really young I want
to be able to stop people from voting
from the second that they have the
opportunity so how do we do that
education or rather a lack of education
see because we already have some friends
in the government we can actually design
our schools to not teach voting at all
let's just completely remove civic
education from the curriculum entirely
and you know what that's gonna stop the
youth the people who are 18 you know
seniors in high school it's gonna stop
them from voting then they're gonna get
to college and once they're in college
they're not gonna be required to learn
about voting then and so great so we've
stopped that entire voting block from
ever learning anything about voting and
about how to engage in the process so
wonderful we're off to a great start all
these young people are not going to vote
wonderful now how else can we stop
people from voting let's create divides
in our society rather than really
rallying and organizing around our ideas
and and using logic and reason to push
forward what we believe in
why don't we instead just cause
divisions on the other side if we have a
bunch of people fighting with each other
over here and they're all over using all
their energy and getting exhausted just
arguing with one another we can then
bring together our voters and our
support and just march right along and
just go past that entirely we can also
just spew out a lot of disinformation
you know these days we can just buy some
ads online blatantly lied to the public
on a massive scale completely
misinformed them about what's actually
happening and through disinformation we
can create even more divides on that
side and have those people all fighting
with each other so great they're all
running a mess and you know what people
love polls so let's make sure that as
we're creating these divisions we
promote polls as much as possible and in
all of these polls you know what we have
to say we're gonna say you know what
it's like 95% likely that this candidate
is gonna win it's 99% likely you you
don't even have to show up it's gonna
happen and by pushing that and
emphasizing that then what we're gonna
see is more and more people aren't gonna
show up and we're gonna cause all those
divides great so we're off to a great
start we've caused all these divides
we've got all this misinformation going
out there and we have all these polls
that are kind of getting people not even
interested in going out to vote and so
now we have all these people out here
right we have the purple team we have
the orange team how do we decide who's
gonna represent these people right if
you're looking at this you can see that
40 percent of these people are team
purple 60 percent of the people are team
Orange so you would imagine that in a
democracy in a typical Democratic
setting how we were all kind of taught
based on our education system that we
put into our high schools earlier on
that it's equal one vote equals one vote
right we're gonna of course see that
level of representation in the
government you would assume that just as
there is in this population that 40% of
the representatives would that if there
were categories
sorry that if we were to create these
blocks representing each group that
there would be complete representation
in this type of scenario where you're
gonna see 40% of the representatives
representing team purple and 60% of the
representatives representing team orange
but if we take what we're assuming the
processes away and we put on our
scheming hats because we're conspiring
here we're all in this in cahoots to win
this election if we draw the lines like
this instead you can see now that in
every one of these blocks that we are
going to be represented by Team Orange
so we have just completely erased
team purple from having any sort of
representation in this system and this
my friends is called gerrymandering we
have just gerrymandered the system and
completely taken advantage of this
electorate and this democracy so that we
can push our own self-interests and now
if we look at that again and we look at
all these voters that's a lot of people
maybe there's a way we can reduce the
number of people that are actually able
to vote on election day so you know of
course before you go and vote you have
to register and vote number one make
sure you register to vote but when you
vote when when but when you register to
vote there's going to be an entire voter
roll that's going to have every single
person who's registered to vote now what
if there was a way that we could purge
the voter rolls and we could just take
some people off of that list well great
let's do that let's make up whatever
reason there is we can say oh we think
people moved maybe these dates are
really old let's just take all these
people off of the list not notify any of
them and just keep on moving forward so
great we're off to a wonderful start
we've been running this great campaign
leading us all the way through to
Election Day we have people that are
young not turning out to vote we've
taken all these people off of the voter
rolls this is great and it brings us to
Election Day the day we've all been
waiting for now what's great about this
day is you know Election Day it's on a
Tuesday it's always on a Tuesday
and you know what's so good about that
for us it means that all these working
people going out nine-to-five your
normal American is probably not going to
be able to vote so that's great for us
perfect the system is designed so all
these people can go out and vote and you
know what let's make sure that on
Election Day that we make sure that the
timeframe that people can actually vote
in is as little as possible if people
are at work 9:00 to 5:00 let's make that
one though when the polling stations are
open so that way they'll never be able
to get out there's no regulations on
this not on a national level and you
know what let's make sure that those
polling places are as far away as
possible from where people live you know
if they're in a rural area in a rural
community and they have to go out and
drive 10 20 30 miles one way maybe
they're going to work 20 miles the other
direction they're not gonna be able to
get there and we'll stop all of them
from voting and let's also make sure we
put in as few polling places as possible
the less polling places there are the
longer lines are gonna be and because
there's gonna be all these long lines
all those people those same working
people how on earth are they ever gonna
be able to wait they got a life to live
they got dinner to cook they got kids
they got a whole situation so this is
gonna stop a lot of them so wonderful
now we have these long lines really
stopping people from going and getting
to their actual ballot boxes and voting
let's also make sure that we only let
people in who have voting IDs it's very
illegal to charge people money to vote a
poll tax but if we could disguise a fee
in some other way
perhaps the revolting ID which we know
as the government is gonna cost people a
whole bunch of money to get money that
not everyone has not everybody needs a
state-issued ID for a driver's license
for example we can stop all those people
from being able to vote in a convenient
way we can also stop young people for
example college students who are living
in one state going to another state and
have different addresses from where
they're living now in college and where
they came from because they're not going
to have those IDs
so great all these people are not being
able to vote and you know what let's
make sure we don't fund these polling
places let's make sure that we really
make sure that the people who are
working there they're not lawyers
they're not even necessarily experts in
elections let's make sure they have no
idea what's actually happening and give
them so little money and training that
they're not well equipped to deal with
the situation and all these voters are
angry and upset and the lines are
getting longer and some people are just
going to be turned away out of sheer
confusion and ignorance for what the
actual procedures are let's also make
sure that when they're voting the
ballots are designed to be incredibly
confusing right if you look here and you
see that you know we have team orange
team purple team apple and if you know
you were to read down a column as a
normal person would you would assume
that these things would be one two three
but the boxes are one two three four
five and on the other side we got we got
team cherry team mango I've never even
heard of what those teams are but you
know if you're filling this out quickly
or you don't quite understand how
confusing this is look at where that
arrow is for Team purple it doesn't even
properly align with the box so someone's
trying to vote for team purple they
might end up voting for team cherry
instead and all of those votes both
those people who got through all those
obstacles and actually were able to cast
a ballot is invalidated because they
weren't able to express who it was that
they were actually trying to vote for
and let's make sure those ballots are
not even on paper let's put them in
voting machines and you know what voting
machines is usually a good word for
really really awful computer like if
you've ever used an electronic voting
system you know how finicky and how Jeng
these computers are I wouldn't even let
my grandma use this they're so outdated
and so that will cause all sorts of
other confusion people aren't going to
know how to click the computers aren't
even going to be able to necessarily
register all of their votes accurately
and look at that we won the election
guys I don't know who to think first so
just like that through these series of
misinformation campaigns preventing
educational access by having long lines
by having voting hours be exactly when
people are at work having narrow windows
or when people can get to the election
we have prevented so many people from
voting and we won the election and you
know what's most interesting about this
I never even told you one single one of
my policy ideas didn't even matter what
my thoughts were and what my campaign
was about I could have been anybody in
fact we all just did this together in
this room and so for me
looking at the system you know growing
up I have to say I never knew that all
of this was happening when I was talking
about that lack of information in high
schools I'm sure you were never informed
of the pure grandeur of the
disinformation and the lack of education
on this for me I grew up as an
environmentalist I've always worked in
climate change and sustainability I
thought you know what I learned the best
science and I do the best research and I
can write the best policy this should be
easy
right climate change is such a huge
issue that affects all of us globally it
effects droughts it affects our crop
line it affects our economy it affects
social justice it affects so many
aspects of society of course we would
want to address it and what I found was
that that wasn't the case that there
have been so many delays in being able
to create any sort of policy on climate
change and even right now when
two-thirds of people according to a
recent Pew study agree that the
government is not doing enough on
climate change the government is still
not taking action and so we're seeing
this fundamental disconnect between
public policy and public opinion and
when this country is supposed to be run
by the public that's an issue and so
what do we do how do we fix it
well number one vote
I hope you got that by now
it's so fundamental that we vote and you
know how I know voting is so important
if voting wasn't so important there
would not be all of these different
campaigns preventing you from being able
to go out and cast your ballot
right and the reality is that you know
your boss votes your boss's boss votes
your landlord votes all the politicians
around you vote all these people who are
making decisions about your life they
all vote and so if you're not loading
your voice is not being heard if you are
not representing yourself don't expect
anybody else to be able to represent you
as well as you can represent your own
experiences so it's so fundamental that
we vote but more than just voting it's
important that we organize around voting
that if there are these incredible
campaigns designed to stop you from
voting there needs to be just as much
effort to get you out to vote and how
does that happen it's not from some
savior who's gonna come up on a stage
and give you all the answers it comes
from you in your own communities
reaching out bringing a plus-one to the
polls registering the people who you
talk to on a daily basis and having
those conversations to ensure that
people understand how important this
really is whether your issue is climate
change social justice equality for the
LGBTQ for women's rights for gun reform
for health care whatever your issue is
there is something that touches you on a
personal level that your votes matters
your votes matters and so when you start
organizing it and you start scaling up
and you start representing not only
yourself but your whole community that's
how we create that counterbalance that's
how we can fight those dark and negative
forces that are trying to scheme and
take this democracy and can instead have
something that comes from the people for
the people by the people
and so for me this year I'm sending all
my effort organizing bringing people
together in communities and making sure
that come this election we march to the
polls in unity in solidarity and make
change in this country thank you for
coming to my talk
[Applause]