I don’t like competition.
I never have.
From a young age, we are taught to be in constant rivalry with our peers.
In the classroom, we are told that those with higher marks are “better”, while those
with lower marks are lazy or inept.
Schools force students to participate in sports carnivals and the like.
They break us up into teams and make us race each other in arbitrary events such as javelin,
high jump, and 800 metre running races.
We are forced to jump into pools and swim our guts out.
The winners are put on podiums and praised.
The losers are brushed to the side and ignored.
Why do we do all this?
I don’t remember any of my peers ever liking any of this, but yet schools continue to force
our children into this mindless competitive behaviour.
Our workplaces give promotions to the most competitive employees.
Shy people who are actually good at what they do are often left behind.
Those who are willing to “crack some heads” and “rattle some cages” are more likely
to be promoted than those with true talent who lack the competitive drive.
Sociopaths are often very competitive and consequently leaders of companies often show
these traits.
Downside of Competition
1.
Hostility.
By its very definition, not everyone can win a competition.
If one child wins, then all the others cannot.
Children learn to envy the winners and start treating their peers as obstacles to their
success.
This is not good for society.
Children are being raised to dismiss the “losers”, envy the “winners” and basically be bad
human beings.
I remember reading one study or news article that said competitive children are less generous
and less empathetic towards others.
I don’t want my son being raised to dismiss other people.
It doesn’t just hurt him – it hurts the world.
2.
Bad for Self-Esteem.
Children who are raised in competitive environments are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem.
Even if the child is one of the “winners”, the moment they lose even a single match,
they feel ashamed and guilty.
Their parents are often very competitive as well, and show their frustration when their
child loses.
As a tutor, I’ve seen many parents treat grades as the be all and end all.
I have also seen that their kids are under immense pressure to get good marks with the
fear of parental disappointment constantly looming.
Ultimately, whether the child gets an A or B in their maths exam will make absolutely
no difference to their future life.
However, the negative effects of competition on their self-esteem may well be lifelong.
3.
Discourages Sharing.
I’ve seen it with some of my students.
When doing a maths assignment, one student knows how to solve a particular problem, but
refuses to help other students.
The reason is that they want to be the only one in the class to get the correct answer.
This isn’t the way we should be raising our children.
We should be encouraging them to share ideas and help one another.
Of course, Apple doesn’t want to share its ideas with Samsung, and vice-versa.
They think that by sharing ideas, they’ll lose their competitive advantage.
This all stems from the way we are raised as children.
Alternative to Competition
Cooperation is the natural opposition of competition.
Although I have been seeing more cooperation being taught/used in schools, it is still
often done in a competitive environment.
For example, students are broken up into teams that have to work together, but they are still
being told to compete against the other teams.
What really should be done is that the teams shouldn’t be in a competition with one another,
but instead be solving different parts of the same problem.
Competition breeds envy and resentment, whereas cooperation harbours individuals’ talents,
helps children to communicate effectively, improves productivity (that is, everyone is
working towards the same goal), and generally makes kids happier and less stressed.
Remember the game that all kids are taught at a young age, Musical Chairs?
It is fiercely competitive in its normal form, but one Canadian researcher, Terry Orlick,
proposed a slight change to the rules where instead of the losers being sat on the sidelines,
they must instead think creatively how to fit onto the remaining chairs (for example,
balancing two kids to a chair).
It turns out kids have much more fun this way than with the competitive version.
Sometimes people talk of “healthy competition”, but I think there is no such thing.
In an ideal world, Apple and Samsung wouldn’t be rivals.
They would be the same entity working together striving to make the best smartphone.
Imagine if all the phone companies in the world combined their collective knowledge
and efforts to produce some sort of super phone.
Our world would be technologically light years ahead than it is today.
So, what can you do?
Raise your children to be cooperative and refuse to use competition as a learning tool
in your home.
Encourage them to help one another and share their knowledge with other children.
Your kids will thank you for it in the end.