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- [Instructor] Hey, Psych2Goers,
and welcome back to our channel.
Thank you so much for all the love you've given us.
Your ongoing support has helped us make psychology
and mental health more accessible to everyone.
Now, let's continue.
As we grow up, we develop our own definition
of an ethical and moral life.
The infamous Lawrence Kohlberg's,
six stages of moral development,
are a testament to that,
with each level symbolizing an individual
becoming more moral and self-aware,
but when it comes to being true to yourself,
staying in line with your own values
is only one part of the equation.
What it means to stay true to yourself
is different for everybody.
So here are seven signs
that you aren't being true to yourself
to help you fine-tune your moral compass.
Number one, you tend to copy others.
When we copy others,
there's usually an incentive to doing so.
Perhaps what they did landed them a great new job,
got them admitted to a competitive program,
or even helped them find their significant other.
We want to recreate that same social success for ourselves,
so we unconsciously start to follow in their footsteps.
While there's nothing wrong with taking advice from others,
trying to blatantly copy your friends and peers
strips you of your own individuality.
Two, you're a people pleaser.
You have a hard time saying, "No,"
and you tend to take on
more than you can handle for other people.
If this sounds a bit like you,
you might be a people pleaser.
People pleasers have gentle giving hearts,
but the real danger of this comes
when someone tries to take advantage of your generosity.
If you constantly put others before yourself
and neglect your own well-being in the process,
you might not be staying true to your own self.
Number three, you let yourself be defined
by how others see you.
Are you overly worried about what others think of you?
Do you follow along with what everyone else is doing
because you're too afraid to go against the grain?
Do you let yourself be defined by how others see you?
When you fall in line with everyone else,
you're at risk of sacrificing
your own individuality.
On a deeper level, you might give up on your own dreams
and desires to appease the will of others
and give into the pressure
of what you think you should be doing.
Number four, you attract drama into your life.
When you're distracted by unnecessary drama,
you're also distracted from yourself.
By allowing chaos to swirl around you,
you are having to put your time and energy
into putting out all the big and little fires.
In effect, you're also not putting the time and energy
into yourself that you might need.
When you attract drama into your life,
it becomes a distraction mechanism to deter you
from more pressing matters
that you should be tending to.
Number five, you give your power to someone else.
Do you tend to let other people make decisions for you?
Do you seek outside validation
and external advice from others?
You want them to tell you, "You're doing great,"
and you want them to give you a path to follow.
By doing this, you avoid having to trust yourself,
because if you put your trust in someone else,
you don't really have to be responsible
for what happens in your life.
This disempowers you and the ability
to make your own decisions and trust your own voice.
Number six, you procrastinate.
Do you constantly put off small tasks?
Are you waiting around to make that big career change
you've been thinking about for awhile?
At the root of procrastination
is the fear of failure and avoidance.
There is no way you can be true to yourself
if you're also avoiding yourself.
If you're stuck in hesitation, too afraid to move forward,
you might be compromising what's actually best for you.
And number seven, you justify your actions.
Do you find yourself justifying decisions
that you once considered questionable?
Perhaps you justify your procrastination,
your people pleasing ways,
or even the times you let others take power from you.
You are a priority, and the decisions you should make
are the ones that keep you safest and happiest.
Do you relate to any of these signs?
If so, what do you plan to do next?
Sometimes you can be your own worst critic
and expect too much from yourself.
So we wanna remind you that it's important
to practice self-care and to hold compassion for yourself.
Please like and share this video if it helped you
and you think it could benefit someone else, too.
The studies and references used
are listed in the description below.
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Thank you for watching, and we'll see you next time.
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