She posted a pic of her with me and Alison,
so I posted a comment that said, omg, you look so gorgeous.
- Well, that's nice. - No!
'Cause Allison thought I meant she looked gorgeous,
so she posted a comment that said, "thanks, ili",
and so then Jessica got jealous and followed me,
and now I hate myself and I'm gonna die!
But every time I try to watch a video on my phone,
it keeps freezing because our stupid wi-fi signal
only gives me one bar in my room!
Then I'll just upload this video so the whole world can see it.
Video of what?
Him trying to sing the "cup" song.
You knocked my phone into the toilet!
- Oh... sorry. - Sorry?!?
All my texts and pics are gone!
My friend Marla took a pic of me and I look really bad in it.
Oh, no.
She promised me she wouldn't post it, but then she did post it,
and she tagged me!
- Dang it! - What?
You butt dialed Jana Tetrazzini!
- So? - I hate Jana Tetrazzini!
- Oh, dang it! - What now?
For one hour they were letting everyone download
with the new Ginger Fox video for free!
Now I gotta pay for it!
Thanks a lot, Jasper!
I'm just gonna go grab a chip.
Ugh, I can't read my stupid screen!
- Hey, give me your phone! - Hey!
So I can shoot Henry's disaster from two angles!
[knocking]
- Hey, Piper! - Ugh, I'll call you back.
Oh, here they come.
Now, act professional and be nice!
Don't tell me what to do.
Please buy it!
You know, rabbits used to do their business in that thing.
Piper!
I promise you, I totally power hosed every square inch--
It's okay, how much do you want for it?
Two hundred?
- Deal. - Oh, wow!
My brother's dumb friend fell out of the window
and now he's dangling!
- Help me! - Send Captain Man.
That Captain Man might be going to the Galaxy Wars premiere tonight.
Really? Where online?
Uh, they took it down,
but I saw it and it said he was gonna be there.
Your brother's gonna be on Spin and Win!
Can we go?
Uh, sorry.
You can't use cameras in here, or camera related sticks.
[screaming]
Stop stop! Agh!
Don't stop, Gary.
[screaming]
Piper, be quiet! I'm trying to open the door.
But my phone's not getting any signal!
Come on, just give me one bar.
You're not going to get a signal.
I have to try!
So, did you guys miss me?
Piper, are you listening to me?
- Oh, you need to go? - No!
Captain Man over here.
Great, now look surprised.
Cool, now duck face.
Piper will you stop?
What was the name of your first pet?
- Duchess. - Duchess...
- Yeah, she was an old-- - Yeah, I don't need to know that.
Duh!
Hey!
What? That's a lie!
I have way more followers than Stacy Dobber.
I'm telling you, there's no way that Stacey-- what?!?
Hey, Darla. Guess what?
No, my parents just got arrested.
Yeah, so, Christmas party at my house tonight?
My new phone's ready.
Hey Hen, when did you text me a video--
Henry!
Don't change the channel!
Dang it, Piper! You're not even watching TV!
- I am so. - No, you're looking at your phone,
and your laptop and your Pear Pad.
And the TV.
Someone texted me.
I can't... see... my phone screen!
- What'd you find out? - Nothing.
I just had to blow my nose.
Well, what are we gonna do about this spray tan gun?
Is it broken?
No! I mean, I don't know.
I don't even know how to use--
No, it's not broken.
I'm expecting an important phone call from this guy in my class
who's friends with Josh Larkin.
Who's Josh Larkin?
He's the new boy at my school who's smart, super sweet,
and he talked to me at lunch today!
Hello?
- Hi Piper. - Hi, have you seen Henry?
Yeah, sure, lots of times.
Hey quit playing around! I'm wearing a onesie here.
Just let me redo the email!
The email is fake!
It's not from a real prince from Yerba.
Oh, then why say right here,
I am a real prince from Yerba, huh?
Princes do not lie!
- Piper! - Listen, there's more!
If you will send me one thousand America dollars
to secure my fortune in one week, I will send you back
one million America dollars.
- Why's he laughing like that? - Henry!
- Don't point at me like that! - Henry!
- Yeah, what's up. - Mom and Dad just called.
- So? - They're on their way here.
Where is the cartoon?
I have over 50 people in my house waiting to watch cartoons
And I got no cartoons!
- Don't worry about that. - Please!
What do you mean you got fired?
You guys produce the cartoon,
how do you get fired when you produce a cartoon?
What are you--
Why?!
Dad swallowed my house key.
What, Dad did what?
Oh, what did your silly dad do now?
He was confused and fiddling with my key chain,
and when I wasn't looking, he swallowed my house key!
Hello? Hey!
Hiya Piper!
Why isn't Henry here with a house key?
Uh, because Henry,
Henry had to...
Hey Piper!
Henry, I am so mad at you!
I know, I know, It's just I'm-- - Dad ate most of his shirt!
What? Why?
Because he's loopy on dental medication.
That's Henry's mom right there.
Yeah, and there's my dad and Piper.
Hey, who's that man sitting beside your mom?
Oh, that's Darius. He's my mom's tennis instructor.
It's almost 8 o'clock!
Just a sec, hey baby, how was your nap?
Uh, long! Do you realize it's 7:55 PM?!?
Heyyy Piper!
Come on, phone, let me in!
Face not recognized.
Ugh!
Come on you dumb phone, will you let me in already?
Too many attempts, phone overheating.
That's not good.
No way, your mom got a new car?
Does it have a sunroof? It does?
Oh my gosh, when you open it can you see the sky?
- You can! - Hey, give me your phone!
What?
One second. Yeah what?
Who? What channel?
Okay I'll call you back.
Talk to me.
Did you just say talk to me?
Uh, I mean, what's up?
Do you have any towels at work?
Uh, why?
Because there's hardly any towels left in Swellview
so people are selling them online for a lot of money.
I could only find one stinking towel in our entire house.
But I did find this Bush, which isn't drying me at all.
Wait, what are all you damp people doing in my kitchen?
We're here to buy towels.
That girl said she had towels to sell, but I don't see any towels anywhere.
Uh, I just got a text him from Henry,
He said he won't be back for a while.
Don't forget his phone.
He is always on that thing.
Hey guys, how about more puzzling
and less staring at your phone, scrolling through Twitflash.
- I'm terrible. - I'll stop in just a sec.
Dad can you believe this?
Hang on, Henry. Trent Overunder is on a rant.
You're kidding me.
- Then can I have my phone back? - No.
That means the internet's back!
What is the wi-fi password?
I'll tell you the password.
One, two, question mark, @ sign, get out of our house!
The internet is back, I don't want to talk to people,
so beat it and let me stare at my phone!
Hi, Swellview Hospital?
No, I'm fine. I just wanted to know if any teenage boys
have shown up there tonight with broken arms.
No, I am not looking for Kid Danger, I am...
a real doctor.
Arms are my specialty.
And I'm... looking for work.
- Who are you calling? - The cops.
This is obviously a juicy crime scene.
Hey, what you doing?
I'm taking a bunch of all-by-myselfies.
Wait, all-by-myselfies?
Yeah, sad pictures of me being alone because someone stole my bird.
I post them online, and people gave me attention.
I think I could make it to your party, but I might be in jail.
It depends if I can make enough soup to pay off the cops.
Piper, you can't use every can we have to make your bribe soup!
Can I call you back?
Yeah, it's him.
KLVY news alert!
Bigfoot is in a truck right near us.
What happened to my phone?
Those are all great questions.
Uh, but I'm actually late for my next ghost thingy.
LOL, haha, heart emoji, crying face.
Look, another land loser!
That's my sister.
Then your sister's a land loser, you surface jerk!
All right, okay fine, you're just sleep texting.
Right this way, I love you, goodbye.
Okay, you can look now.
How is this supposed to help me?
Vertical stripes make everything look thinner.
- What's up? - Dad's coming home.
What, I thought he was at the Fake Fest?
You're not gonna believe this,
but the fake festival was fake!
Yes, whole thing was just a scam to separate idiots from their money.
Crawl through some tubes, see where they go...
have a few laughs.
Mm hmm, mm hmm, yeah, like 50?
- Wave. - Head nod.
- Wow. - Who you talking to?
One sec. No one.
I'm pretending to be on the phone so that Dad doesn't ask me
to help him in the backyard.
Perp broke in this morning.
Standard B and E except witnesses say a guy in a mask
robbed the declaration, turned himself into a pigeon
and then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
But that's none of my business. Kermit drinking a cup of tea.
His fearitol level is at 100, this is like zero in fearitol levels.
Then why not just make it zero?
That's exactly his face when the whole down hates him.
How are you texting?
[mumble]
With my tongue.
Respect.
And down will come Daddy, cradle and all.
Sleep tight you bizarre man.
What's Rumbler?
Well, it's like a dating app.
But instead of matching women with creeps, it matches heroes with villains.
Yeah, we got to go.
You're going to Dystopia, too?
Uh, no?
I'm dropping these jerks off at the airport,
Then Schwoz is going to helicopter me into Florida.
Hurricane Piper about to make landfall, y'all!
Peace, and I cannot stress this enough... snitches!