Happy TLC Thursday! My name is Christal Fuentes,
and I am your Host and Coach for today.
So as you may know, we lost a legend not too long ago. April 21st was definitely a
sad day for not just the music world, but for many. What Prince left us goes beyond
just music, even though music happens to be everything.
Prince gave people permission to be who and what they wanted to be.
To live authentically even if people don't understand you, and authenticity is what
I want to talk about in today's video. Could being too nice get in the way of
living an authentic life? Right after Prince's death, I was reading
one of the many beautiful tribute articles about him and one was written
by someone who had worked at an ice cream shop, and served him a milkshake
years ago. But what this person said about Prince is something I know we can
all learn from. The article said that Prince was nice but not too nice.
What does that mean? That means he didn't overdo it.
His niceness came from the most genuine part of himself. He didn't have to fluff up
his personality because he wanted to appear a certain way. Why does this
matter, and why does this have anything to do with authenticity? Because how many
times have we been overly nice that it felt inauthentic, and why did we do it?
I've discussed this before and I'm starting to see a solid trend with my
dear ladies. Actually it's less of a trend, and more of a disease. Yeah it's
exactly a disease. The disease to please. Every time I bring this topic up, I can't
tell you how many ladies relate to it. So I'll just continue bringing it up until
we start making some major shifts. The disease to please is really the disease
to be liked. Because the only reason we please is to be liked. We don't feel good
enough within ourselves, that we overextend our energy and our courtesy,
in hopes people will see our value. Before we go any further, I think it's
time for our WTSD.
Being liked is the lowest standard possible, because it makes our happiness
dependent on how others reciprocate. And let's be real how many times have you
been let down by someone you overextended yourself to? A shit-ton
right?! Yes, because you overextend yourself in hopes to see a return, which
is super inauthentic. It's so easy to say we're being real, but how real can we be
if we're doing things for attention, approval or respect? Not real at all, right?
Now this doesn't mean we should walk around screaming F*&K you to everyone,
in order to be real, but I do believe there is such a thing as being too nice. So
I'm going to give you three ways of being nice, but not too nice.
Number One: Prioritize people in your life. I've said this before it's not rude, it's necessary.
Not everyone needs your energy, especially if the important people in
your life starting with you, aren't getting your needed attention. When you
don't value yourself and your own time, then you will continue seeking the
approval of others. Number Two: Breathe into the awkward moments. How many times
have we filled in the gaps of uncomfortable silences, with pleasing
feel oh. It's just I was trying it was creeping up, and I was I was trying.
How many times have we filled in the gaps of uncomfortable silences, with pleasing
filters? Stop that shit! Next time you come across an awkward moment, breathe
into them and remember that you are fully whole and deserving of love how
you are. No need to bring out the theatrics of feeling deserving. Allow
yourself to be seen. Number Three: Make peace with being alone.
No I'm not telling you to isolate yourself from reality, but the more we
are able to be alone with ourselves and find peace, the more certain we will
become of who we are and what we have to offer. Only then will we stop doing
things to fill a void within. Why? Because there won't be one.
Before I end this video, I'd like to end with my favorite quote by the legend himself.
"Cool means being able to hang with yourself. All you have to ask
yourself is, is there anybody I'm afraid of? Is there anybody who if I walked into
a room and saw, I'd get nervous? If not you're cool." And that my friends is how
to stay nice, but not too nice. Was there something you took away from this video?
Or do you have more tips I didn't mention, and you think would help your fellow ladies?
Comment below, and make sure you join the discussion. Also be sure to
check us out at the TheLadiesCoach.com, and subscribe to our Channel.
Til next time. Muah!