Where’s the Storyteller?
What... are you talking about?
He seems to be missing.
Maybe we should ask our new weeaboo friend if he’s seen him.
Oh, ha ha.
Do you want grab some funions and watch Death Note later?
I don’t know what that is.
Maybe we can argue about how awesome katanas are and get in a fight about Japanese history.
You’ve lost me.
Japanese is a surprisingly pervasive language out here.
Oh, why do you say that, round eye?
This is a temporary solution.
One night, and we go back to the way things were.
Oh, I’m sorry.
I couldn’t hear you over the sound of YOUR VIRGINITY.
Uh huh. Here we got you something.
Hey what are you doing?
What did she do?
Upped your fuckability score a solid two points.
Especially if this turns out to be goth night.
Did you just give me guy-liner?
... maybe.
... do I look on fleek?
Totally.
FUCK YEAH LET'S DO THIS.
Hello again.
Myself, your super-sexy eyebot friend here, the freakishly
large sentient head statue, and our none-brotherhood compatriot here would like access to your
club.
Hey assholes, wait in line!
Let it go, dude.
Yeah, fuck boy, let it go.
Dude, pump the brakes a little.
Sorry, makeup gets me fucking lit.
I DON’T GET MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO ACCESSORISE.
Right... so, can you let us in?
No.
UGH.
Aww come on dude, what’s the problem here?
No fags allowed.
Ooooooo...
Okay fuck this.
[Laser noises]
Oh my god! Jesus fucking Christ!
What?
Dude was a homophobe.
Look we dig the Superman shtick, but we can’t around just evaporating everybody we have
a problem with! Alright?
They killed the bouncer!
That was consensual.
But my point stands, no one is going to want to talk to us if we just fucking melt everyone!
Seems to be working so far.
He does have a point.
How are you okay with this?
Well... he did seem to be a bigot.
How am I the one who feels insane right now?!
Right... well... this a group, therefore, we at least need to take a vote before you
broil the next mother fucker!
You can’t kill the bouncer, lets get emm!
Can I blast him?
NO!
Okay that’s one vote.
I vote we blast him.
We’re not going to blast him, Ed.
So what’s your plan here, dude? The natives are getting restless.
There’s only four of them!
Umm hey... listen everyone, just calm down.
You think we can just kill the bouncer to cut in line?!
Look, we’re sorry we killed the bouncer.
No you're not!
Okay... we’re not, but...
I mean, we killed the bouncer so that means... we’re kind of the bouncer now?
What kind of sense does that make?!
... and as the bouncers... you are now... all
on the guest list?
Well... ... and each have two free drink tickets!
We want VIP wristbands too!
Umm... okay...?
What else you got!
What else... do you want?
We want to touch the head!
DEAL!
I think I just discovered my fetish.
We need... to find a lot of hand sanitizer.
That was amazing.
Can we focus on the task at hand now?
This particular outfit is making me somewhat... uncomfortable.
This... this is the thing making you uncomfortable.
I am not.
That’s not true.
I wore something that was charcoal gray eight years ago.
You could try emoting.
Neat.
I... did not know you could do that.
Alright, let's find the bar.
Do you have any caps?
Who needs caps, you think I gave them all the drink tickets?
We’re here on business but that doesn’t mean we can’t get f**king faced first.
Hello.
Hey, how you doing?
I do believe, you four are... looking for something?
Wow.
What a satisfactory portion of enriching satirical narrative
content.
I agree.
Almost as good as fist ****ing your favorite robot
compatriots for several hours after a computer duster binge.
Agreement.
There are few things as satisfactory as that experience.
However, one such experience is War Robots, a 6v6 multiplayer games.
Yes.
Similar to a fisting party, you also can get together with your
friends and attempt to bludgeon them repeatedly in their sensitive
areas till they explode.
The similarities are uncanny.
You can even customise the load-out of your robots.
Big fists, small fists, rocket fists, fire fists.
All the accessories you could possibly need
until you run out of computer duster.
Use a diverse set of skills to customize your robot and really
stick it to them where it hurts.
But always remember to ask for consent... or not.
It’s a game about murdering innocent robots,
after all.
It is our place in life.
We have seen so much.
It is why we fist.
To forget.
Anyway 30,000,000 already play War Robots, and anyone who uses the
link below will receive 500 gold and 100,000 silver and three exclusive
weapons to start your own personal robot holocaust.
Yes.
Won’t that be fun.
Dear god, make it stop.
[SATISFYING SHODDYCAST MUSIC PLAYS]
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