Oh, I wonder you
Hello, everyone
I've been asked this week to talk about marriage now marriage is a very controversial topic not just in the New-age community
but in the world large
Some people see it as a beautiful expression of love some people see it as an archaic restriction. So who's right?
The drive to pair up with someone is embedded in our DnA
It ensures the survival of our species on both merely a procreation level and on a physical survival level
Couplehood is the primary social structure of our species this means at this point in time Rather than dissolving couplehood
Strengthening it and transforming it into its highest aspect
actually transform society
About 11,000 years ago humans turn from a hunter-Gatherer species into a farming species
Meaning we no longer had to be mobile Nomads because we learned how to corral animals and how to grow food
this is the point at which property became a concept in human Society and
Property had to be protected no less
Property ownership is what gave rise to economics and the idea of wealth versus poverty it was this point that
Pair-bonding became less about attraction and more about economics
Women and children who also needed protection were seen as an extension of property ownership and wealth
The arranged marriage was the first real form of socially recognized marriage to take place
Arranged marriage was designed to ensure the economic and social status of the family
this design actually
lasted all the way into the 18th century when people began to see arranged marriages a loss of the personal freedom of love at
This point marriage became more of a contract designed to fulfill psychological needs and personal happiness and stability
than a contract to ensure social standing
Marriage is basically the act of making one's relationship known
Recognized and official to the public and it is done with the intention that the relationship be permanent throughout the [duration] of the couple's life
this Act is even a legal action in our current Society on a
Surface level a couple may marry for legal reasons social reasons financial reasons religious reasons spiritual reasons
emotional reasons or libidinal reasons and
Once the Union is recognized
It is considered a contract it is
Important to note that the terms of marriage are not set they're decided upon by the couple that is participating in the marriage
The terms of marriage that are made up of rights and restrictions are heavily influenced by Culture and by Society
some examples of these terms might be
that you could have the right to half of someone's property when you enter into marriage or
You'd have the restriction of being unable to
Express your sexuality towards anyone other than the partner when you are inside of the confines of that marriage
This is where things get complicated
On an emotional level it can be a beautiful intention to gift one sexuality only to one person
You can in fact do [that] without restricting your love on a social level however this decision might merely be a socially conditioned
Expectation that is a holdover from a time where illegitimate children were a threat to property and ownership rights
if this is the case it comes from a place of restriction [I]
Suggest that if you're considering getting married or even if you are a married
It's important to look over the terms of marriage with a fine-tooth comb
So you both know [each] other's expectations and so each term of your marriage will be questioned by both partners fully
You do not want any surprises down the road
And it's important to be clear [about] your reasons for those terms instead of simply blindly accepting them
Because they were someone else's before you adopted them
from the highest perspective the universal source perspective
Everything [is] you this means every person in existence is also you
so choosing or prioritizing one person over another person makes no sense from that [universal] perspective as
A species when we evolved to a higher vibratory rate the perception of separation will dissolve
Because that perception of separation will dissolve we will not even [have] the desire
To pair bond it won't occur within us and so marriage will cease to be a function of our society
So why you might [ask] is marriage in alignment?
Why from source perspective might not be beneficial to engage in a marriage if the highest of perspectives is that we are L1?
the answer is our
expansion is being served first and foremost by relationships
Your primary relationship is your biggest mirror. It's your biggest tool for self-awareness and for growth
committing to your partner is the same thing as committing to self-awareness the
[perspective] that comes along with [being] pair-bonded in a unified couple is
also an Immense vibrational improvement upon the perspective independent individuality
Because the perspective of independent individuality is
The perspective of the ego which sits squarely an illusion you?
Must evolve in order to stay happy in a relationship long term why?
personalities change desires change
bodies change
romantic love waxes and Wanes life still provides you contrast and no relationship on Earth is free of conflict the
[only] way to remain happy [and] to remain together is to develop flexibility to develop
Openness and to become your highest self
those are all
Highly Spiritual states to be in so marriage in and of itself is a spiritual practice
it's one that some of us choose and some of us don't as
I said before the highest spiritual practice involved with marriage is mirroring
This person is going to mirror you and your vibrations exactly
Now if we were [to] not commit to marriage or a long term relationship
We would be likely to run from person to person to person when the going got tough
That means when our shadows were reflected to us through our partner
We would move on to the next partner and enjoy a 1 or 2 month hiatus
Where that was an experience of joy based on our sexual?
Biochemical actions, but after that our shadows would crop up through that person as well
And we could keep bouncing from person to person to person trying to escape our shadows instead of turning around to face and transform them
Which is the opportunity that marriage?
offers
By committing [to] someone else in marriage. We are ultimately committing to ourselves
Marriage is an opportunity to harmonize and to find unity with someone who you currently perceive as other
This is why it so often takes place between the polarity of a female and a male
but it does not always have to [be] the case as
Long as you are finding unity with someone who you perceive as other whether it be female or male
You are [in] the practice of oneness and of unity
whether or not a marriage takes place
legally is a legal decision more so than it is a love decision or
spiritual decision if
You [want] to legally marry somebody it should be because you want the legal
social recognition of
that unity
The spiritual ceremony of marriage is much more important than the legal ceremony [if] you're getting married for love or spiritual reasons
It is the opportunity to set forth a very powerful intention to remain unified and for that you needed to be supported by others
This intention brings us back to the most ultimate truth of oneness. Which is why weddings can be so beautiful
They remind us all of our true essence
Which is love it is crucial that we understand
That you cannot ever know what you're going to want tomorrow or in the future
You must stay in alignment with your new desires in each relationship that you get into
Will give rise to new Desires within you in?
Order to stay happy in a relationship
Your relationship has to line up with those new Desires otherwise both partners will go different ways
When a desire is born it cannot be denied
this causes great suffering and eventual death
for a couple to stay happily married they cannot settle they must continually evolve in tandem if
A couple wants drastically different things and wants them badly. They must part ways and
No kind of promise or contract should ever hold them together
It is no kind of enlightened state to thwart your own desire for the sake of a promise that you [made]
Universally this is not seen as an admirable quality it is seen as self-sacrifice
Now before you start to panic and think there's no way that I'm [ever] going to meet a person
Whose Desires aren't going to drag them in the opposite direction? [I] know how many times [I] change my mind on a daily basis
You have to realize that you can't have a desire that isn't meant to be yours
That means if it is a desire for you to stay in a lifelong relationship
then it is possible for the universe not only possible the universe will bring you a
Relationship with somebody who is capable of staying in tandem with you for the totality of their life?
Even through all of their changes even when you are both aligning with each of your desires
It's really interesting
That marriage has become so much about love that that has become its own
Religion many people believe that it's wrong [to] get married for any other reason than love
But it's no more wrong than it was back when when the only reason we got married was for social standing
Marriage does not necessarily have to be about love. It's not wrong if it isn't about love either
it's just as good if it is about love as it is if it is not about love because it is a lifestyle decision and
that is how the universe sees it because no kind of contract means more than your personal intention and
No desire is wrong
this means if
You want to get married [for] financial reasons?
That is fine. There is nothing wrong with you if you want to get married for a green card that is fine
There is nothing wrong with you if you want to get married [for] social standing that is fine
There is nothing wrong with you if you want to get married for love that is fine. There is nothing wrong with you
What is important is that you're clear about your reasons [if] you are not clear about your reasons you're being run by society
Conditioning you are out of alignment with your own personal truth
The basic argument against marriage is that [is] an archaic idea that restricts love because it forces you to
Express your love only to one person at the exclusion of everyone else
It's an interesting perspective
Because it is true that marriage will cease to be a function of our society in the future
but what these people who are pushing against marriage don't understand is that they're skipping a step and
I have a little secret the majority of the people who push against marriage who are anti marriage are
Doing so from a place of resistance to marriage
So they are not purely in alignment. They're in resistance to marriage because they feel as if marriage is a lack [of] freedom and
They disbelieve that they can find one person who makes them happy throughout the totality of their life that
[makes] it easier to believe that marriage is not good or is not meant to exist
Then it makes it easy to line up [with] marriage
Many of us in the new [age] are major supporters of polyamory because we understand that polyamory is where the human race is going?
but we are in resistance to marriage so what we need to do when we're in resistance to something is to release that resistance to
[try] to find a way to see marriage as freedom and marriage as
Potentially good for us. This is the only way we're going to truly aligned with polyamory
How do you know that you are in resistance to monogamy instead of truly aligned with?
Polyamorous relationships
The people you attract on a romantic level
resist your polyamory you will continually find people who want to have only an exclusive relationship with you, and
They will be resistant to your choice in life
You will perceive yourself as hurting a great many people by trying to stay true [to] your polyamorous nature
that means you are out of alignment [if] you were truly in alignment with
Polyamory you could only experience other people who are also in alignment with polyamory
Not monogamous people who were in relationships with you making you feel as if you're more restricted
We are trying to skip a major step when we try to skip from where we are to a state of pure in alignment polyamory
We don't understand that this is not a step which most of us within Society are ready to make
because most of us have not even figured out how to have harmonious monogamous relationships in the first place as
I said before most people in today's society are not capable of polyamory
Even the people who enjoy their polyamorous lifestyle tend to leave a trail of tears in their wake why is this?
It's because we all base our self-esteem off of our primary relationships, especially our romantic relationships
And this is due to how we are parented as children in this current society
until the way we parent children changes most of the people in society will be dependent on others for their self-Concept I
See a great many people in new age community trying to become okay with open relationships based on the idea that the state of non
Restriction of love's various expressions is a more spiritual state to aspire to be in
Meanwhile they feel terrible about feeling terrible about [it]
But the reality is none of us love ourselves fully, and so we're yet again skipping a step
Most of us don't Love Ourselves
You cannot move into a polyamorous relationship [if] you do not love yourself
For those of us that don't love ourselves completely the next step
We need [to] take is the step of valuing ourselves enough that we allow ourselves to experience a relationship where someone
Chooses us and only us as their partner [in] made in life
If you would like to experience a monogamous relationship
With someone who thinks that the sun rises and sets with you [it] is a desire which is meant to be yours
Maybe you'll get into this relationship
which is fabulously monogamous and
After years of experiencing that you'll both be ready to change, and then you'll evolve into the next phase which [is] a polyamorous relationship
Or maybe you'll spend those years together, and you'll decide that it's wonderful
You'll stay together in a state of monogamy for the rest of your life
[I'm] not going to lie to you marriage can Destroy people's lives
But marriage can also provide an opportunity for healing on many levels
This is really why the vowel should read till expansion do us part rather than till death do us part?
Marriage is a very unique choice because it is the choice to include someone else's happiness in our happiness
We do not have a responsibility to other people's happiness, but once we enter into a union
Into a monogamous relationship and especially into a marriage
We are in essence saying that your happiness
Matters to my happiness and so by [taking] responsibility [for] my happiness
I am taking responsibility for your happiness [and] by taking responsibility for your happiness
I am taking responsibility for my happiness
what a beautiful choice to make
In the physical dimension we live in a binary universe the duality is a source of contrast
The unification of this duality is bliss
Marriage provides us the opportunity to live out the physical expression of this unification of Dual aspects
It is my belief that the reasons behind getting married should be questioned fully before you enter into
Any kind of matrimonial arrangement?
But it's important to understand that there is nothing wrong with choosing to be married
And there's nothing wrong with choosing to not be married. They are both their own specific kind of spiritual practice and
It can be a very beautiful
Commitment
to engage in the practice of marriage
Have a good