- How can we help a client whose tendency
toward perfectionism is running them down
and getting in the way of their relationships
and even leading to depression and anxiety?
Today, we're gonna look at a case
that gets into that question.
You'll hear how one practitioner used ideas
from Polyvagal theory, the theory that
was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges
And she used those ideas to help her client
gradually begin to shift focus
and transition out of a perfectionistic mindset.
Now this case comes from Dr. Ashley Vigil-Otero.
She's a licensed psychologist
practicing in the state of Florida,
and Ashley did her internship at Vanderbilt University
and her postdoctoral fellowship at Harvard Medical School.
And I'm especially excited to introduce Ashley to you
because she's recently joined the NICABM staff
as a member of the program development team.
Okay, so now let's get to the case.
And in this case, the strategy that Ashley used
with her client came from an idea
that was presented in The Next Level Practitioner Program.
And of course, she's made sure
to change any identifying details
to preserve her client's confidentiality.
Here's Ashley.
- So I have a case where this is pretty much
the poster child of somebody that is very perfectionistic.
Very high achieving individual,
really at the top of their career,
and really their hard work and their perfectionistic ways
were very reinforced.
So the harder they worked,
obviously people really loved all that energy
and really going that extra mile.
The problem in this case
was after years and years of doing that,
this female actually really felt
like she lost her joy,
and so she came in really saying
that she really wanted help finding joy.
And really she spun into a pretty dark depression.
That was really the cost of her perfectionism.
And there was something Steve Porges said
in The Next Level Program
where he mentioned that society puts
a lot of weight on productivity,
and we tend to value that.
And he mentioned this one idea
that's pretty simple but it was really helpful in this case,
and he talked about sometimes what the world
wants from us is very different
from what our body needs.
And I found that really profound
and really shared those exact words with this patient,
and something really clicked
because this was a patient who not only was hard working
in their work life, but they would go to the gym
and not listen to their bodies
and work at 200% and actually get injured quite frequently.
And as we were making progress,
the person really did learn
to start to value things other than just productivity.
One of the days that I knew we were on the right track
was the female came in and said,
you know what, I actually really felt
I worked too hard the day before
and I listened to my body and I decided
instead of doing my regular workout,
which she normally would have done,
I decided to swim.
And it really shocked me
because that was something that was so foreign.
That was the first time
that she really listened to her body
and really realized that sometimes
we have to listen to what our body needs.
Steve also mentioned the importance of coregulation
and how that's a big part of what our body needs
and that often really is a cost
when we are overworking and over functioning.
And so this particular individual
really I saw a trickle down effect
where they started to really spend more time
with that coregulation and really reconnecting
with their children and their spouse, even coworkers.
And so they really started to pay attention to,
yes, I am gonna be reinforced if I go the extra mile.
However, there's that cost.
And I really felt that a lot of what Porges shared
as far as, the world is complex, right,
that contrast for what the world asks of us
but what we really need doesn't always align,
and just holding that for this particular patient
was really, I think, a key part
in making some shifts.
- So as Ashley showed us,
using that one key idea from Dr. Stephen Porges
proved quite powerful for her client.
Now we'd like to hear from you.
Is there a new idea that you've heard recently
that's been particularly helpful
for one of your clients?
And if you're in The Next Level Practitioner Program,
we'd love to hear if there's an idea
from that program that's helped spark
a change in your work.
Please tell us about it in the comments below,
and thanks for watching.