(elegant festive orchestral music)
- I don't know what to do.
(elegant orchestral music continues)
- That's annoying.
- That looks terrible.
We're hiding these.
(bench thuds) - Ow.
- What is going on here?
- This is a joke.
- Where's the dish?
- This should be really obvious.
- [Janice] Oh dear, oh dear.
(screen wipe whooshes)
Hello gentlemen.
- [All] Hello Janice.
- Hello James. - Hello?
- Hello.
- What a shock.
- [Janice] Ah, James, I thought we were on a break.
(they laugh)
- I just couldn't stay away.
- [Janice] Today's theme is pretentious ingredients,
which means I've taken the liberty
of acquiring all of James' favourite pretentious ingredients,
over the last few years,
and combined them into this very episode.
You're welcome James.
James, you must decide the cooking order,
and each of you must choose one pretentious ingredient,
to use during your turn.
Otherwise you will fail the challenge.
- Have to use five pretentious ingredients.
- The dish can be anything?
- Open briefs are so dangerous for us.
- Okay. I want to give us the best chance,
so we'll start with the ideas man.
- Okay. - Mr. Pretentious.
- [James] Mr. Pretentious. - Okay.
- I still can't tell whether you're being sarcastic.
- But, they're not always good ideas.
So we'll go with Ben second,
(they exclaim) So he can fix it.
It doesn't matter where you put Jamie,
so we'll put Jamie- (they laugh)
- In the middle. - (bleep) does that mean?
- Then Mike, than me.
(all gasp) - Ooh.
- I love an ending.
- All right. - Excellent.
- Okay.
(funky music)
(heavy rock festive music)
(klaxon honks) - Okay.
For once, Pass It On,
and I'm in my comfort zone.
(utensils clatter) Pretentious.
Here's my thinking.
I like the idea of taking a relatively humble recipe,
and making it pretentious.
We're going to go for spaghetti carbonara,
with Escargot.
Having James back should be an advantage,
because he's a chef,
but also, he's a close and personal friend,
and he knows that,
well, he likes to watch us suffer,
so who knows what he gonna do today.
Also, this is the last Pass It On we're doing,
before going live,
so I'm treating this like a warmup.
Let's get a feel for again,
because on the day itself,
it's carnage.
(heavy rock festive music continues)
Right, I want those onions to soften ,
(pan sizzling) the bacon to go crispy,
and then some escargot.
I'm not sure what to expect from this.
Ooh. Oh, there's no shells.
(soft piano interlude)
(rock music resumes) Snails was there,
as a pretentious ingredient.
It's used a lot in kind of pretentious dishes,
but as the ingredient itself,
you can't get any more of the earth than a snail.
Bacon, garlic, onion, classic base.
With the snails in there,
we've got a base of really good carbonara.
What I like about the idea is,
this would go really well with truffle,
and you know what?
You can put some of the Iberico pork in this as well.
Crap. I've burned that bit.
Let's go with some of these snails.
These are already cooked.
I'm just warming these through.
I've committed all my pretentious ingredients,
snail, bacony goodness.
Last minute, okay. I've only got a minute left,
Let's just leave some hints on what I want to happen next.
Eggs going in here.
And I think that,
should scream Carbonara. (klaxon honks)
I'm actually really confident with that start.
I don't think I did anything wrong,
so I see no reason why I couldn't give myself a 10.
Ebbers!
(screen wipe whooshes) (magical festive notes)
(klaxon honks) (jazzy swing music)
- He's gone straight in for that tin of snails,
and some bacon, good combo.
Pasta water boiling,
this is good.
Egg, nice idea.
I've got an idea. (utensils banging)
Got to incorporate what he's already got,
screams out to me, (whisk rattling)
French, with the snails,
or possibly Spanish,
obviously used a lot in like,
on the top of paella, with rabbit and things like that.
We haven't got any rabbit,
but with the flavour so far,
and the boiling water and the egg,
I've got an idea.
(jazzy swing music continues)
I've picked up a relatively easy ingredient to incorporate.
And that's the classic potato tortilla.
Typically you'd fry these slowly in lots of olive oil,
and then add the egg to cook around it.
But if I season the egg with our pretentious truffle,
and because we're in a bit of a rush,
I'm going to cheat,
with the boiling water, that Barry's already got,
just to blanch these.
Is it too obvious to do snail porridge?
We actually cooked a snail porridge,
(screen wipe whooshes) not too long ago,
which means the normals
should have an idea of what's going on.
(screen wipe whooshes) A savoury infused milk,
porridge oats,
And then all of this could go on the top.
A little bit of that,
little bit of snail porridge.
So I'm adding in this wonderful truffle paste,
into the egg mix, to flavour it.
If I remember correctly, it is quite salty already.
It's lovely to have James back.
Christmas time, it's like the extended family,
and the confidence to know
that we've got extra safety in whatever we prepare,
because he'll know what's going on,
(jazzy swing music continues)
Potato becomes our wonderful starch there, not pasta.
Okay. Three minutes left.
I'm infusing some milk for the porridge.
That's our topping.
They'll get that, snail porridge.
What lovely ingredient could they use next?
A little bit of roasted broccoli,
as a nice like picky tapas item.
The kale will go wonderfully with that,
little bit salt and pepper.
So hopefully that helps.
Now's the time to get the egg in.
And in my last few seconds, it goes in.
(klaxon honks)
Gonna give myself
pretty much the same as I always do, 7.5.
Jamie.
(playful music)
(klaxon honks) (festive heavy metal music)
- Right. Ooh, we've got snails.
Summer truffle pate,
has been used somewhere, as well.
This is Ebbers leading me down his garden path,
to his allotment,
to use cavolo nero pesto with the broccoli,
that feels quite safe.
I just, I'm not a very safe person.
I feel like I'm a little bit more-
(record scratch) dangerous.
I feel that we have to use one pretentious ingredient each,
and I don't think that this is the one that I want to use.
(jaunty ragtime music)
So here's what I'm thinking.
I'm going to get the broccoli into the oven.
We can roast it off,
but then I'm going to wrap it,
in the Iberico ham.
There's porridge oats there,
is that to tell me that
the porridge oats need to go into here?
(sniffs) Um.
And then there's potatoes.
I haven't done anything in five and a half minutes.
I put some broccoli in the oven.
Life is about choices.
And I feel like my choice
is going to be to strain off this milk.
That's been, (music stops)
I've done that completely different way around.
- [Janice] And into a dirty, raw, eggy bowl.
- (beeps) (jaunty ragtime music resumes)
So. Oh, well.
Now we've basically, we've come this far, haven't we?
This has probably now, just got to go straight to here.
Oh yeah. That can reduce into, mm, something.
Do we need some porridge oats in there as well?
Why would they be there
if they weren't supposed to be in there?
This is a clue from Ebbers.
This is fine.
This is absolutely fine.
Snail porridge.
We're making snail porridge.
I've just realised what we're making.
Get all of them in there, boys,
come on. Yeah.
Oh yeah. Now I know where we're going.
Right. Cool.
Okay.
This is a plan.
Oh, look at that.
That is a turnaround for the book.
This is what great Oscar winning films are made of.
I haven't used my pretentious ingredient,
that's the problem.
Right. Let's get this out.
That's not long enough to cook, but that's okay.
(groans) These aren't slices. (laughs nervously)
Right. I've got to, I've got,
I've got to use them though, so,
and here we go. Iberico ham wrapped broccoli.
(klaxon honks) (music stops)
This could be make or break.
So it's, it's a 5.73,
Mike.
(upbeat funk music)
(screen wipe whooshes) (klaxon honks)
- Okay, ha-ha. Here we go.
What have we got?
- [Janice] You know we're in for a show
when this music starts.
("In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Grieg)
- But what is this like, patatas bravas?
Man. It's smoking that's for sure.
Some mushroomy or oaty thing.
Oh no. They are not mushrooms are they?
They are snails.
Okay, cool.
Snail porridge.
Right, think about this.
We're doing like small tapas-y things.
Camembert, Camembert and honey.
It's not very...
It's French.
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, don't...
I act... I'm just bringing stuff.
I'm really...
Guys. I'm really, really not sure what I'm doing here.
I don't want to ruin anything,
but we're going to have a little bowl of snail porridge.
What could go with that?
Let's start some stuff, Mike, for goodness sake.
- [Janice] Five minutes in,
and he says, "Let's start some stuff".
- I'm just going to fry off some of this,
because we could do something with shards of this,
at the end,
I really want to use this honey,
and I know honey and cheese goes together.
So, um...
I'm really out of my comfort zone.
And it's really annoying,
because I was going to use this as almost a dress rehearsal,
for Pass It On Live.
I'm not doing anything that I know how to do right now.
Except put some bacon in a pan.
You know, I'm going to get this under the grill,
Oh my goodness. I've done nothing.
Wha, is this going to stick?
Yes, probably.
(babbles) Come on.
Am I grilling honeycomb?
Yes, I am.
I'm really hoping James' cheffiness kicks in,
and he's going to rescue me.
I think that porridge is pretty much done.
I'm really...
This is terrible.
Do you know what I'm taking this out?
(klaxon honks)
Does that go back in?
It's going back in.
Oh dear. That was horrendous.
And that does not bode well,
going into a live version of this.
I'm not sure I can rank myself higher
than a one and a half.
James.
(wind whistling) ("Carol of the Bells" plays)
♪ Hark see the bells ♪
♪ These silly bells ♪
♪ All with no shame ♪
♪ Doing it again ♪
♪ Oh dear, oh dear ♪
♪ Christmas is near ♪
♪ Live Pass It On ♪
♪ What could go wrong ♪
♪ New and improved ♪
♪ Choose what they do ♪
♪ You take control ♪
♪ They take the fall ♪
♪ Panic and flames ♪
♪ Passing the blame ♪
♪ Cloud eggs and fish ♪
♪ Where is the dish ♪
♪ If you can't come ♪
♪ No harm is done ♪
♪ Don't be alarmed ♪
♪ Watch on demand ♪
♪ Sassy, sassy, sassy ♪
♪ Sassy Janice ♪
♪ Stressy, stressy, stressy ♪
♪ Stressy Ebbers ♪
♪ Three uncut shows ♪
♪ Three new time zones ♪
♪ Tickets and info ♪
♪ Linked down below ♪
♪ Hark! See the bells ♪
♪ These silly bells ♪
♪ All with no shame ♪
♪ Doing it again ♪
♪ Oh dear, oh dear ♪
♪ Christmas is near ♪
♪ Live Pass It On ♪
♪ What could go wrong ♪
(wind whistling)
(heavy metal music)
(klaxon honks) (heavy metal festive music)
- Oh, it's been while, hasn't it?
Oh, oh blimey.
Ah. That's what was burning,
there's cheese all over the oven.
That is not the baking tray that you put Camembert on.
Right. Okay.
I have to use a pretentious ingredient, don't I?
I've got two options.
Rose gold shimmer.
And I've got salt.
I know which one I should use.
What are these?
Honey.
This is snail risotto.
That's just, that's just random fried bacon,
that's going in here.
Why is there Camembert?
Why is, why is there an omelette?
I'm so confused. I'm so confused.
I'm going to go rogue,
I'm going to scrape the cheese into this.
It's going to make it really rich and creamy.
Oh. That's good.
I need a plate. I need a plate.
This is looking good.
I'm just going to keep adding water.
Broccoli looks okay.
I'm going to cut it up,
so it's a bit more like a garnishy type thing.
Bacon. Ugh.
It was a nice idea, but it's not really wrapped.
So I'm just going to put it all in there,
and I think it's going to make it delicious.
Okay. This is looking good.
I'm happy with the cheese.
I think it goes like bacon, honey, cheese, is great.
Truffle, I couldn't really taste,
so I'm going to go for a little bit more.
(record scratch) Ooh.
I just revealed someone's slight error.
That was on high, wasn't it?
- [Janice] Hm. I wonder who did that?
(screen wipe whooshes) (cursor blips)
- I might have to sack this omelette off,
and I hate to do it,
but I don't know where to put it, where do I put that?
I've gone parsley, just a little bit of freshness.
All that cheese and honey and bacon, very rich.
(metal "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" continues)
You can go with like little dollops of honeycomb,
I think I'll be nice and it looks good.
Pretentious ingredients, little bit of salt.
(blade scraping) Oh.
(klaxon honks) I tried the salt.
It kind of worked.
I wasn't sure about it,
so I went for the rose gold shimmer as well.
I think I did okay.
I think I'm going to give for myself,
a really average seven.
(plucked string music motif) (audience applause)
So you didn't go easy on me.
- No? - Didn't we?
- I don't think so.
- I did not. Go on. - Lift the cloche James.
- (gasps) What?
I mean, Yes.
Wow. The state that I left the kitchen,
that is a miracle.
- [Ben] He loves that shimmer. - Is that the glitter.
- [Ben] You're supposed to put it in Prosecco,
but he's just put it on top.
- Listen guys, I had to do something.
- I walked in and I thought, let's do a humble recipe,
with a pretentious twist.
Carbonara.
I started with a base of onion, garlic, bacon and snail.
- Some of those things go into a carbonara.
- I then... (they snigger)
Yeah, exactly.
- I walked in, saw the snails and the bacon,
and thought if we make snail porridge,
we've all been there before,
we've all tried it- - Oh porridge?
- Now let's see- - I knew it was him.
- if the normals can make it.
I tried to push it in a Tapas direction,
so made a truffle tortilla,
using your eggs- - I thought that was you.
- And your boiling water. - Oh.
- So that's why I couldn't taste any truffle.
- I came in and I saw the broccoli laid out on a tray,
with a jar of pesto in the middle of the tray,
and I thought, "Ebbers, I'm not having this".
(they laugh) - This isn't a fight.
- You are not leading me down your garden path.
- Team communication.
- So I put that back. - Yeah.
- I put the broccoli into the oven,
and then I got the pretentious Iberico ham.
- I too, thought small plates.
So I had a meltdown,
and in that meltdown,
I melted some honeycomb,
and I put a Camembert under the grill.
- The Camembert was dripping on the oven,
because the tray it was on was convex,
and had no sides. - Oh.
- You just put the entire Camembert,
just on it's own on a tray.
- I grabbed it, I grabbed a flat tray,
because it was the only trays that were in there,
and I was time caught. - But not in paper,
or in the pot it comes in? - Nah, just on it.
(Jamie snorts) - Under the grill.
- The tortilla, took it out,
turned it out, it was black.
Having said that,
I'm not entirely sure where I'd have put it.
The truffle was in the tortilla,
but I tasted that and thought I can't taste any truffle.
So I put more truffle in.
- Oh good save.
- So it has all the ingredients.
(bright string pluck) - Should we taste it?
- Let's taste it. (bright soul music)
- Good luck. - Good luck.
- Oh, it's got a funk, innit?
- Cheers. - [All] Cheers.
- That tastes remarkably Christmassy.
Considering I don't think
there's a single Christmas ingredient in there.
- The snail texture's not bad.
- There's an overwhelming taste of honey.
- The reason the honey works because it's on porridge.
(Jamie laughs)
That's how I always have it, it feels really natural.
- It's honey on porridge.
- So let's get to it. Barry,
what'd you rate yourself? - 10.
(Jamie laughs)
- I rated myself 10,
because I used a pretentious ingredient,
and I felt like I made a fantastic,
a strong and positive start with a delicious base.
- Surely, if there's nothing wrong. It's a five.
(Barry laughs)
- One of the tastiest things we've made on Pass It On.
So it's a pass.
- As usual, nice middle ground,
I gave myself a 7.5.
It's not what I had in mind,
but it uses similar flavours, ingredients.
And I think it's quite tasty. - It's really tasty.
- Pass.
- When it came to my score,
it could have gone either way,
because by doing what I did,
it would either have made the dish or ruined it.
But I gave myself a 5.72,
because I wasn't aware at the time.
I think that's a pass.
- I gave myself a 1.5.
- Whoa. - Oh.
- I melted some stuff and ruined an oven.
(they laugh)
I would actually, in hindsight, move that up to a 3.5,
but give or donate two of my points,
to you, for creating that,
with the mess that I left you.
- Thank you, sir.
- And for me, it tastes delicious. It's a pass.
- I rated myself a seven.
- You get a nine now.
- I wish I'd rated myself higher,
because then I'd be the only person in history
to score above a 10.
(they laugh) On Pass It On.
But I was pretty happy with what we came up with,
it's a pass. I thought it was really tasty.
(hands clap) - Yes.
- It's a full sweep.
- Considering the brief, (angelic fanfare)
it was remarkable we got there.
- Well, that was fun.
First time in a while.
- Yeah mate, good to have you back
- Over to you guys, was it a pass or fail?
Comment below.
- And if you'd like to see all of this chaos,
unfold live, in real time,
then you have to come to our Pass It On live shows.
Thursday, 16th of December, tickets are available now,
all the links are downstairs.
- Time is running out.
That is next week. - Time's running out
to be good at cooking. - Oh no.
- We can do it. We proved we can do it.
- I'm busy.
(they laugh) - Oh no.
- With that thing...
(wind whistling) ("Carol of the Bells" plays)
(production card beeps)
- This is a message for Ben. Ebbers, Ebbrell.
I am not who you think I am.
This is me.
And I will use the Iberico ham.