You’re happily married and things are going great.
Or so it seems.
Then, unexpectedly, your wife hits you with some shocking news: She wants a divorce.
The announcement hits you like a ton of bricks, and suddenly you feel like a helpless child.
But before you throw in the towel or say something you’ll regret, let me share with you my
four big tips for preventing divorce with your wife.
Hi guys, Brad Browning here and I want to thank you for joining me today.
As a relationship coach and author of a program that teaches readers how to save their marriage,
preventing divorce is a hot topic for me.
So, let’s get started.
If your wife comes to you asking for a divorce, chances are she’s past the point of trying
to work out your problems or asking for things to change.
She’s feeling exhausted, and to her, your marriage is lost.
For you this news may comes as a shock.
Sure you know there have been problems but you didn’t think things were that bad.
Well, now is your time to take action.
If you want to save your marriage and convince your wife not to leave you, then it’s time
to step up to the plate and make some changes.
Before we get started I want to say that while it may seem impossible to save your marriage
without the cooperation of your wife, I’ve helped many people in your situation.
It’s true you can’t control your wife’s decisions, but I have seen amazing things
happen when even just one person in the marriage begins making some positive changes.
So without further adieu, here are the four things you can do to prevent a divorce.
Number One: ACTIONS The most important piece of advice I can give
you, is to not over-react when your wife tells you she is unhappy.
As hard as it may be, you must stay calm.
It’s perfectly okay for her to know that you’re upset and scared, but you need to
keep control of your emotions.
It’s true that humans have a natural instinct to pursue their needs and wants, but in situations
like these where emotions are running high, there’s no room to act on instinct.
Screaming, begging, hysterics, name calling, retaliation, blaming and abuse are things
that you can’t take back.
This kind of behaviour push your wife further away and make you look pathetic.
At the end of the day you want to be proud of your actions, not ashamed of them.
Simply put, you have two choices.
One, you can be angry and wallow in self pity, or two, you can choose to love your wife through
this difficult time.
Even if your wife is stubborn and unresponsive, that’s okay.
Just because she’s turned out the lights on your marriage doesn’t mean you can’t
still shine.
If you really want to prevent the divorce then you need to take the high road and commit
yourself and your actions to saving your marriage.
Number Two: COMMUNICATION Developing great communication skills can
be a powerful tool for overcoming issues in your marriage.
However, communicating can be particularly tough when your wife is done with talking.
No matter how hard it is to get your message through to her, at no point should you belittle,
threaten, ridicule or manipulate your wife into changing her mind.
Remember, your words and actions are your greatest allies right now, so keep them in
check and in control.
To help with your communication, try this quick exercise.
Begin by reminiscing about when you and your wife first got together, how you met, and
what you enjoyed doing together.
You probably kissed, cuddled, talked nights away and made love at every opportunity.
You thought she was funny, smart, and interesting.
You fell in love with her because she made you feel good.
Try and capture those feelings again.
Next think about your wedding and how excited you both were in the days that followed.
By recalling these types of memories you’ll be able to reset your focus on what is important
in your marriage, and find ways to communicate these messages to her.
Over time, you and your wife have built a pattern of habitual actions and reactions.
Meaning how you act influences how she reacts and vice versa.
Making a change in your behaviour will mean a change in your wife’s behaviour.
If your new actions are positive, the relationship and your wife’s reactions can also take
a turn for the best.
In order to save your marriage without your wife’s help, you need to look honestly at
your own behaviour and assess how you can change it to keep your wife.
You can only change yourself, but in doing so, you will also change your relationship.
Number Three: COMMITMENT Saving your marriage is going to take a lot
of hard work and determination.
Sometimes you will backslide and you may even try things that don’t work, but this is
where commitment comes into play.
If you keep trying, eventually you will start to have small successes and it will get easier.
A big part of being committed means giving your wife time to heal.
If you have gotten to this point in your marriage, chances are that it’s been rocky for some
time now.
Your wife needs to time to see that you are determined and dedicated to making any necessary
changes.
If you are interested in learning more about preventing divorce, visit my website MarriageGuy.com
to watch the full length video presentation.
There will you can also learn about my ABCD system which is designed specifically for
strengthening and saving marriages.
You can also learn about my personal email coaching program.
Coaching is only available to a limited number of clients at any given time, so to see my
availability visit marriageguy.com/coaching.
I’ll be sure to post all URLs in the video description below.
Number Four: THE FOREVER STAGE Once you have put in the time and commitment
to making some personal changes, then you may want to consider using the “Forever
Phrase.”
Again, this is not something you should use right off the bat, but only after you have
made some progress on your own.
“The Forever Phrase” is an effective sentence or two used to tap into your wife’s nostalgic
memories.
Here is how it goes: “Remember that time when I told you how
much I loved you during our trip to Rome?
We’ll always regret it if we don’t at least try to rebuild our connection before
we throw our love away.”
Of course you’ll have to adapt the “trip to Rome” with a particularly happy moment
you shared together, but the key is to use a memory that will remind your wife how incredible
your connection was at that stage.
This is a powerful tool, so if you’re going to use it, just be sure you do so at the right
time.
Well, that’s all for this video, I hope you enjoyed it and learned some tips you can
use to save your marriage.
If you have any questions feel free to post in the comments section below.
I’ll do my best to reply to each of you, and for more information you can visit my
site www.marriageguy.com.
As always I appreciate those of you who take the time to like my videos and subscribe to
my social media pages.
I’d love to hear any feedback you may have, so again, feel free to share below.
Thanks so much for watching, and until next time, good luck and take care!