-Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite "My Family is Weird"
stories from you guys. Here we go.
This first one's from @RockyHoare.
-Wait. "Horror" or "whore"?
[ Laughter ]
'Cause I was with a rocky whore in the Navy.
-I hate to say --
I hate to say it, but it's "RockyHoare."
[ Laughter ]
H-O-A-R-E.
-Oh, like hoarfrost. Like a --
Yes. Sure.
Why not?
-She says...
It's like, "Oh!
I can't do that.
Ugh! Freezing!
-"I got brain freeze!"
-"These frozen margaritas are so cold!"
[ Laughter ]
Then don't order a frozen margarita.
-Don't do it. [ Laughs ]
-This one's from @poeTAYYtoe.
-Oh, nice.
-She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"I love those morons."
-Yeah.
-"I love the morons. They're great."
-More cheese and crackers?
[ Laughter ]
-"Squeeze cheese on a Ritz?"
Uh, yeah, thanks.
This one's from @hullojess, but H-U-L-L.
"Hullo." -"Hullo, Jess."
-Hullo.
-Hullo, Jess.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Well, you still have your eyes.
-Yeah. Turned them into horns.
-So maybe he was right.
Maybe he had a point.
Maybe he had a bunch of points.
-Ha ha ha ha!
-Save it, save it. Save your energy, guys.
This one's from @CptnSwan4TheWin.
-Captain --
-You almost run out of characters right there.
You can't tweet anything. -No more names.
-Captain Swan for the win.
She says...
There's a photo.
Lookit -- there's the photo right there she sent in.
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Wonder if mom even knows we're not home anymore."
-"They're not eating again, honey."
-"Yeah."
-This one's from @amyevans1023.
She says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-[ Imitating seal barking ]
[ Laughing ] What?
Wait. You're not --
-I never knew --
-I never knew I had another sister.
-Yeah, there you go.
-Amy?
This one's from @jennyskorusa.
She says, "My grandma paid to have professional photos" --
This is real, by the way.
"My grandma paid to have professional photos taken
with one of her dolls and a stuffed monkey."
She sent a photo. This is it.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Laughter continues ]
-Genius.
-Oh, my goodness.
This last one here is from @ErinBode.
She says...
There you have it.
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