So you met this guy and he’s everything you’ve been looking for in a partner.
Now, how do you make him like you without coming across as needy?
Hey ladies, Amy North here.
For those of you who don’t know me I’m a relationship coach from Vancouver, Canada,
and author of The Devotion System, a program designed to help women find and lock down
the men of their dreams.
Today I want to share with you some tips that will help to avoid an issue so many women
encounter once they become interested in a man, and that’s battling the urge of being
needy.
As you may or may not already know, the key to keeping a man’s eyes on you is to show
him your calm, cool and confident self, which is why being needy will do you no favours
if you’re looking to build a loving relationship with him.
The good news is that even if you’ve been a bit too clingy in the past, you can still
turn things around to work in your favour.
But, before I jump into these tips I want to start by asking that if you like what you
learn in this video, or find it at all helpful, then please show your support by subscribing
to my YouTube channel.
Also, if you at any questions about anything I cover here then post those in the comments
section below and I’ll do my best to get back to each of you as soon as possible.
So, let’s get started, and to kick things off I want to quickly explain why neediness
will get you less of what you want from a relationship.
Simply put, it’s because making a man feel like he is the be-all and end-all to your
world puts a lot of pressure on him… and I really do mean A LOT, A LOT!
When that happens it’s common for men to pull away or become distant.
Since they don’t feel comfortable carrying that burden around with them, they’ll start
to remove themselves from the situation.
Now for us ladies, this just makes matters worse.
Since all you want is for him to do all the things you need and love, when he doesn’t
respond how you’d like, you get upset or even frustrated.
All in all, it’s a messy situation.
HOW-EV-ER, if you can fight the temptation to be needy and instead behave as your true,
best self, well that’s when he’ll happily go along for the ride.
Again, easier said than done.
Especially since as soon as you start to develop feelings for a man things change.
Unlike in situations where you aren’t that into him, when you are you start acting differently,
almost as a means to get his attention.
The problem here is that if he catches this, or interprets your behaviour as needy or desperate,
then he’s going to lose interest in you.
So, how can you fight these urges?
Here are five helpful tips to do just that!
1.
Don’t show TOO MUCH interest
While it’s one thing to want to get to know the guy you’re into, it’s another to go
over the top with this one.
If you’re begging to know everything from his favourite movie to his third grade crush,
then yes, you’re going to send him running.
The truth is, coming on too strongly scares most men away.
Considering most guys enter relationships for the sole purpose of having fun, when you
come across as needy he’s going to put his guard up around you.
Now, you may be thinking, “But Amy, I don’t ask him THAT many questions,” but the unfortunate
news is that you may be coming across as clingy without even knowing it.
For instance, if you have a habit of blowing up his phone anytime you don’t hear from
him, or you make it obvious that you’re stalking his social media pages, then yes,
he’s again going to get a bad taste in his mouth.
To avoid making him feel suffocated it’s important that you don’t show TOO MUCH interest
in him.
The best way to do so is to have your own life outside him.
In other words, find things to keep you busy, whether it’s spending time with your girlfriends
or picking up a new hobby.
Keeping yourself preoccupied will do wonders for keeping him interested.
2.
Don’t be too agreeable
This is another sneaky one, and often times women don’t even realize that agreeing with
their man can actually be worse than disagreeing with him.
That’s because it’s one of those things that requires great balance.
So yes, it’s completely okay to agree with his musical tastes, or an opinion he has about
a particular matter, but if your man gets the impression that you’re just nodding
and agreeing with anything and everything he says, then you’re going to come across
as needy.
What’s worse is he’ll lose interest in you.
Whether they’ll admit to it or not, men like to feel challenged by the women in their
lives, and that’s why being too agreeable won’t do you any favours.
Instead, being confident enough to have and voice your own opinions will keep his attention.
Of course it can be easy to fall into the trap of being too agreeable, especially if
you are trying to win him over, but just remember, he wants to get to know the real you, not
the version that’s mimicking himself.
If you’re interested in learning more tips for boost your confident to lock down your
dream man then visit my site, www.coachnorth.com and watch the free video presentation.
Now, 3.
Don’t be too available
While you may be tempted to drop everything you’re doing the second your man coming
calling, believe it or not, showing him that you have a full and fun life will get you
farther than being ready to go the moment he wants to see you.
To avoid seeing needy it’s important that you again, keep busy.
That said, a good rule of thumb to follow is that you don’t agree to making plans
with him on super short notice.
Meaning, if he calls you that afternoon to go for dinner that night, tell him that you’d
love to, but you’re already busy doing something.
Even if this isn’t the case, making it known that you aren’t sitting around waiting for
him to coming calling will keep you on his mind, and make him want to see you more.
So, when this happens suggest rescheduling for another night.
Trust me, this will give him something to look forward to.
It’s also important that you don’t change plans to accommodate him.
This goes without saying, but don’t ditch your gal pals just because Mr. Dreamy wants
to see you.
He’ll still be there tomorrow.
4.
Let him take the lead
As hard as it may be to sit around waiting for him to contact you, that’s exactly what
you need to do if you want to avoid seeming needy.
In fact, I’ve actually had a man once tell me that he would contact me in a few days
to not seem “overly interested” - I laughed and appreciated his honesty, but in all seriousness,
it worked because it kept him on my mind in the meantime.
Now, that’s not to say you should tell your guy this, but rather just do it.
So, after you see him leave the ball in his court and let him be the one to contact you.
Sure it’s okay to fire off a quick “thank you” text after a nice night out, but asides
from that, he’ll appreciate the chase and effort he has to put in to win you over.
When you’re needy, he doesn’t have the chance to do so.
Now last but not least, 5.
Don’t get ahead of yourself
It can be tough not to get caught up in the moment when you’re feeling all fluttery
and infatuated, but no matter what you do, it’s important not to get ahead of yourself.
In other words, just because you think he’s the bee’s knees it doesn’t mean you should
be planning your entire life together.
The thing is, women get invested more quickly in relationships than men do.
So while you’re already imagining how nice it’s going to be to spend next New Years
with him, he’s still thinking about the delicious chicken wings he devoured on your
date.
So, if you want to get him thinking more seriously about the relationship you have, then it’s
crucial that you show him your fun and outgoing self.
Once he feels comfortable around you, and realized how much he enjoys your company,
that’s when he’ll start thinking more about the bigger picture.
To make this happen it’s important that anytime you feel the urge to send a needy
text or want to say something that shows your feelings, first ask yourself if doing so comes
across as confident or needy.
If it’s questionable, just don’t do it.
Well that just about does it for this video, please let me know what you thought of it
in the comments section below, and post any questions you may have for me.
Again, if you enjoy what you learnt here then you can show your support by subscribing to
my YouTube channel and checking out my other dating advice videos.
For more tips on how to make a man commit visit my site www.coachnorth.com and check
out the video presentation.
Believe me, you’ll be glad you did.
As always thank you so much for watching, it’s your support that allows me to keep
coming out with new videos for you all, and until next time, take care and good luck!