when i was around 14 my mom had no money
i was getting a bit desperate when i was
doing this i could pay for my own food
as well
so i wouldn't be so hungry you don't
know when
mom's gonna you know find a job you
don't know if that's gonna come home
people like me don't get opportunities i
didn't think that
someone like me could ever become
anything
when i was doing this i felt like i was
smart it had been a while since i felt
like i was good at anything
it's hard i've been stabbed five times
one minute you know you're this
innocent you know can't harm anybody are
they just playing football
next minute you know you're this
potential criminal
what does the rules do the wrongs they
kill you you know they make sure that
you go jail for life
the rules make sure that you your future
gets cut short
the world stills your dreams and
ambitions
people like outside would would call us
like a gang or whatever but we're just a
group of lads that went to the same
school but from the same area
they're like my friends that i grew up
with these people were similar to me
i could relate to them more so it was
nice to chill with people like me
our environment has just made us like
this you know we walk in big groups you
know we
that's just that comes with the
territory that comes with the territory
that comes with
living on an estate history tells us
something interesting about
um these things these groups that we
call gangs
so that sense that that that that sense
of grouping together
contributes a sense of
of security their experiences tell them
that for them the world's a little the
world exposes them to vulnerabilities
and and so they form clusters
because it helps them started really in
the 70s for
many of us especially young black men at
that time
i can go back to when i very first heard
a racist word from a police officer in
1974 where i was only 10 years old
i was frightened i'm not going to be
afraid to say that i was really kind of
scared because i
i thought police officers were supposed
to
protect us really to be honest and i
know some people like to think it's
it was just the police but it was the
system
we couldn't get any decent jobs
everything about
the system was against us as black men
it made me realize for the first time
that we were pushed
into this gang lifestyle when i became a
teenager that's when
it started feeling a bit different
that's when i started getting eyes
that's when
you know the stopping searches started
happening and things like that
and it was just such a drastic change in
such a quick amount of time that i just
wasn't ready for i couldn't prepare
myself no one could
the proportion of all stop and searches
on black people has increased
by 69 over five years
the average custodial sentence for a
black person
is almost 10 years longer than a white
person the relationship between the
police
and young boys is so
fragile in fact it's non-existent not
even fragile it's just totally
non-existent
young black and poor are recognized as
risky
right instead of vulnerable because
those who are recognizing them as risky
they understand that they lit their gang
adjacent they live in the same areas as
dangerous criminals when you come out
your house you know you
you see your friends older brothers
you see you know their cousins or
whatever and
you know because everyone knows everyone
they're saying hello to your mum when
they're coming in and out of the shops
and things like that and it's quite
family knit but what you don't what you
know but you don't really
realize is that some of these are drug
dealers at the end of the day
they were asked to meet you not just to
buy or sell something
just to lean control in it bonus you and
when you're both burning you're both
mashup talking about life and your own
stuff
and then you tend to open up a lot more
you'll become close friends
and that's how it happens
school days for me was very hard because
it's like
they gave up too quickly i then got
caught up in
like the wrong crowd i started going out
on the road doing robberies and stuff
it's like it just went left like so
quickly
when i when i was training to become a
teacher
no one ever taught me the correct way to
change a dressing on a stab wound on a
child's thigh or leg
i've done that a lot of times since 28
now and six years
we've we've seen a lot of stab wounds
how
street gangs have changed and progressed
they had to come up with a model that
would ensure
the longevity which was
children
it would start with like a spot and then
like it makes you feel like
they're friends basically that's how you
get drawn in
there was an older i had that he was
selling so i thought maybe he could give
me a chance
trust me i could trust him he could help
me make some money
and over the years we had less and less
money and i was getting a bit desperate
and i thought i could pay for my own
food as well
and then i wouldn't be so hungry when i
went to prison the first time
i was 15 years old um i got
a 12-month sentence originally looking
back now
15 i should have never done that time
because you know what the first time was
really hard
but you know because i got so immune to
it for being so
long inside it i kind of came out and
not that i missed it but it was like you
know it wasn't the same again
their futures are a long way off but at
this young age
sometimes they are placed in that system
and it's almost
impossible for them to break out of it
so when they end up in these situations
how do they ever put that right
back then all i needed was like someone
to like
really push me and to drive me in that
right direction
i believe all young boys especially
living in areas such as where i've come
from
definitely need the mentors whether
they're exhibiting
you know bad sort of choices or not
some of the kids that come to box up
crime you know they've been kicked out
of school they've been expelled
you know some of them just come out of
prison you know because if we're not
there where do they fall into they fall
into another safety net which is the
vote
the roads had another plan for that
young person
how many people did you stab are you the
driller of the year
how much time did you get in prison how
many times did you get stabbed
you know and these are negative
realities that the streets have for
these kids
to see that we look just like them they
see that
we talk just like them they see that
we've got experiences just like them
they understand that we got kicked out
of school we
went prison just like them and they see
familiar faces that
have all made mistakes but i've turned
it around you know and what happens is
they start to
see there is light at the end of the
tunnel they start to realize that
there's hope
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i started speaking to my family feels
better when they talk more people about
certain stuff
i felt a lot better about that you know
but i wanted the right
opportunity for me you know and
thank god i was giving it and i took it
i'm still there just fighting to be a
better person every single day
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you