-Guys, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
This is very exciting.
From the number-1 movie in the country, "Don't Worry Darling,"
Nick Kroll is here tonight!
-Oh! -On our show!
[ Cheers and applause ] "Don't Worry Darling."
Nick is going to tell us what it was like to star
in a crazy drama and also how it was like being in the movie.
Let's get to some news.
Well, guys, with all the holiday travel being planned,
President Biden has proposed new rules that would require
airlines to show consumers the actual price of plane tickets,
including baggage fees and other extra costs, before they buy.
Yeah. Of course, the airlines all responded by adding an
"able to see the full cost" fee.
But besides that -- Yeah, airlines will have to show
all their hidden fees.
Right now, every credit-card company is like,
"Don't make eye contact.
Don't make eye contact. He's walking right by.
Don't look at him."
Of course, out of spite, now the airlines are being too honest.
Today, pilots were like, "Well, folks,
this turbulence is something to worry about."
Listen to this.
A new poll found that, in a potential 2024 matchup,
Biden and Trump are essentially tied.
Keep in mind the poll has a 3-point margin of error
and a 10-point margin of "These guys are like 80,
let's not get ahead of ourselves."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, everybody is talking about this.
Rihanna just announced that she is headlining
the 2023 Super Bowl halftime show!
[ Cheers and applause ] Rihanna!
But it's Rihanna, so she was like, "Wow.
This is one of the top-10 honors of my week."
You can tell fans are excited because at
the beginning of every game, the announcer is like,
"And remember, the winning team advances to
the Rihanna concert."
And it was just announced that Apple Music
has replaced Pepsi as the sponsor of
the Super Bowl halftime show.
And just like with Pepsi, the NFL was told,
"We don't have Spotify.
Is Apple Music okay?"
Of course, if it rains, Rihanna will stand under...an umbrella.
♪♪
Or she'll have to be submerged in a bowl of rice for two days.
Since it's Apple. That's the way Apple...
During -- Speaking of the NFL, during yesterday's game --
I don't know if you saw this -- between the Miami Dolphins
and the Buffalo Bills, Miami's punter
had his kick blocked in a pretty unfortunate way.
Watch this.
-I don't know. This is risky. And it was blocked.
-Oh, my goodness! Blocked, indeed.
Let's see if we can get a...
Oh, it hit the personal protector, Sherfield.
-Ooh, yeah.
The refs ruled it a safety but said it was
very close to a sack.
-Oh! Whoa!
-Very close. [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, hey, everyone, this is very interesting.
I saw that a school in Australia
banned a student for having an inappropriate mullet.
Good thing we don't have any rules like that here at
"The tonight Show," right, Higgins?
-Right on, brother!
Can't lock down these locks.
Bottom up, homey.
-I hear that, brother.
The administrators at that school
need to take a chill pill, brother.
-If I went to that school and they tried to tame my mullet,
you know what I'd tell them?
-What?
-I'd tell them this, brother.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Rock 'n' roll, brother. Hot damn, brother!
-Come on! Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
I heard that grocery prices are skyrocketing due to
a nationwide butter shortage.
-Ooh! -It's bad.
At CVS, they moved the Land O'Lakes
behind a locked display case.
I'll be honest.
Biden might have survived the gas crisis,
but there's no way in hell he's going to make it through
a butter shortage.
No way.
And, finally, guys, it's the beginning of the week,
and I thought it would be nice to kick off things
with a few words of encouragement.
It's time for some "Monday Motivations."
Here we go.
-♪ "Monday Motivations" ♪
[ Peaceful music playing ]
-When you met Taylor Swift,
that was the best day of her life, too.
Your therapist thinks you're hilarious.
Go ahead, post the photo where only you look good.
Your friends will understand.
When deodorant gets bought by you, it's like,
"Yes, this will be super-easy."
That spider you just killed?
He wanted to die. It was his time.
Your high-school crush realized they were in love with you
the day after graduation.
And, finally, you know what?
Spell restaurant however you want.
Everyone knows what you mean -- the place with food.