Welcome back all
to another episode of "Sebastian RRRRRRRRoasts,"
the show where I roast you,
and feel slightly better about myself every time.
Today's theme is jokes.
Now you might be saying,
"But, Sebastian, you yourself are a joke!
"So, this theme is mute."
Well, I would argue with you, uh, because,
I'm running out of themes, and... here we are, so.
Let me tell you a joke before we start.
Why did the chicken... cross the road?
Go on, I'll wait.
I'll wait for your answers.
Type them in the comments down below.
Because his master ordered him to!
(laughs)
Damn, that's a good one.
I save that for all the best occasions, of course.
Anyway, let's see what kind of jokes you noobs are going to tell me today.
I hope you have... SOME good ones.
Otherwise I will be very disappointed.
And as always, grammatical errors will be an immediate fail.
Um, I think that goes without saying at this point.
Anyway, let the show begin!
Candy McLaren has a joke for u-
Oh wait, I see the joke.
It's your name.
You don't know how to capitalize... the letters in your name.
Funny.
That's a great joke.
Anyway,
(reads joke)
Oh?
(reads joke)
Ho ho! That was..
That was actually pretty bad.
You're right.
Well.
Uncle Kelbo says,
(reads comment)
EXCLAMATION MAAAAAARK!!
(reads joke)
Oooh.
(reads punchline)
Wohohow!
Delete your YouTube account please.
That was, that was just, JUST terrible!
Wow, I mean, 19 likes?
Really?
Ni-... 19 people like this?
Wow, okay.
(reads comment)
Oh, I wonder what it might-
Oh it's Seb-
It's Sebastian... Sebastian Michaelis.
Haha! Ah yes, very funny.
Wow, you've learned how to make a funny.
Holy-! 298 likes?
What the f-
What the actual f-
Why?!
WHOOO?!
This isn't even funny!
He's put no effort in!
I could have done that and got more likes!
Haha!
Look at me, I'm Sebastian Michaelis!
Ho ho!
Victor [Nikiforov] says,
Wait, Vi- Victor?!
Go back to your own show!
Nobody wants you here!
Jesus Christ, dude.
We have enough yaoi in this show, gosh!
(reads joke)
Oh... okay, I'll just...
Kitty... Katty... Videos... says,
(reads joke)
Cuz... you always spell something... r-rong?
Yeah-
Th- I'm-
I hope,
I hope, Kitty... Kitty, my dear,
I hope that was some form of sick joke,
because I don't appreciate that kind of dark humor!
Mispelling "'cause" and "wrrrrong".
Do you take grammar so lightly, my friend?
I...
Oh, Julie has written a joke that involves Sebastian and Lizzy.
Well-
Well, being the extraordinary voice actor that I am,
I'm sure I can voice both characters.
(reads comment)
Ohh, funny because Ciel, and I gave the D to Ciel!
Ho ho!
Even though... I like Teletubbies and... Betty, and...
pretty much everything but Ciel, really.
(reads joke)
No question mark,
so I'm going to have to just... mark you down for that one.
(continues reading joke)
'Kay.
(continues again)
Ohh, gosh, I...
Thank you, I'm so whale-come for that... joke.
It was not up to my qualifications of... authenticity.
There's things wrong with me, I know, I'm sorry.
Oh, wow, this is a big one!
Emily has written the most authentic,
original,
unnnnNIQUE,
expotentially (?) put-together... words... joke,
I have seen all day.
(reads "joke")
I just...
You know, I-
You know, I d- I don't HAVE to make these videos, you know.
I just...
you know, whatever!
I just... you know,
I just-
y-
You know, I don't have to make these videos,
but I DO because I- I thought I had viewers...
who respected what I did.
But no, clearly that... isn't the case!
(sigh)
You little bunch of... BI-
(reads joke)
(epic rimshot)
Cringe!
Cringe, that's ALL I've seen!
That's all I've seen so far!
GOD DAMMIT!!
You know, if I WANTED cringe,
I would talk to Ciel for five minutes.
Ho- how does that sound?
Huh?
HUH?!
(reads joke)
I- I think there's a copyright already existing for that,
so I d- I'm not really sure how that will... how that will turn out for them if they did.
But good joke nonetheless, actually.
Not too bad.
You know, you probably stole it from the Internet but, you know, whatever.
Whatever, I'm just saying.
(smack)
(read comment)
Well, yes, that's the theme of the video,
I- I would- I would hope so,
that I want to hear a joke.
(reads joke)
Ahah.
Very funny!
Hilarious! (not)
(reads joke)
Don't you dare joke about Brendon Urie.
His voice... is angelical!
I- I would suck an angel's dick just to meet him.
Can you blame me?!
Have you HEARD his voice?!
(reads comment)
Thank you, thank you.
Finally, somebody gets me.
Oh wait, it's a jokes episode isn't it?
This person wrote that as a joke, and haaa! I'm not amazing! Oh yes!
My feelings aren't hurt.
Haha! Carry on.
(read comment)
Well, Yuuki, I would rather be bad at a posh accent
than have zero subscribers.
I mean, th- there's robots that subscribe to people... fo- for no reason,
and you don't even have any of those.
So... literally nobody loves you.
Ho- how does that feel, Yuuki?
(reads comment)
THESEFOURWORDSSUPERFAST!
There we go, I did it very fast.
Thank you very much.
Demi, I will not fall for your silly games.
Ooh, this one is a joke in the form of a story!
Fantastic!
(reads comment)
Dippy, that is the best joke we've had so far.
I mean, you haven't had much competition,
but that's definitely the best one so far.
(claps) A round of applause to you, my good sir!
(reads joke)
Ohhhh...veryyyyy...funnyyyyyy...use of the PUNNNNNNS.
(reads comment)
HMMMMmmmmmm,
Yes...
Very...
tempting...
of-... fer...
(slow inhale)
MOVING ONWARDS.
I will not talk about this.
(reads joke)
(OOC laughing)
That was pretty good.
I'll give you that one.
(reads comment)
Yes.
I agree with you.
(reads jokes)
I give YOU, mister Teletubby, the Ciel of cringe.
(reads joke)
Oh, okay! That's funny!
That's... REALLY funny!
Even though I SAID... I wanted to stick my dick... in a Teletubbie!
But NOOOO, no no no,
We'll go with 12 year olds,
because that's all we see in the show, right?!
We don't get to see... Sebastian's true love, RIGHT?
I should stop shouting now!
Moving on.
(reads joke)
What does this comment and a rat have in common?
They are both incapable... of using grammar!
(reads comment)
(OOC) Oh my gosh!
Jesus.
(reads joke)
Jesus! That is... sexual.
(continues)
(OOC) Oh my gosh...
(continues again)
No, those were actually quite enjoyable.
Well done.
(reads joke)
And to end it of course, a Ciel Phantomhive fire joke.
(reads joke)
(snaps fingers)
(finishes)
Ho-HOOOOO!
Fire everywhere!
Let's call it a day.
Thank you guys very much for these comments.
Well done, my peasants!
You've done a fantastic job this week at entertaining me!
I'll look forward to the next theme.
Speaking of next theme,
the next episode's theme is...
Puns!
Give me your worst, your best, your most disgusting puns.
I want to see them all.
So please,
for the love of the God that I don't believe in,
could we have some puns that aren't all Ciel-related?
Or Black Butler, because those just aren't funny.
Because we've seen them a million times.
Capiche?
Fantastic.
I'll see you all next time.
Goodbye my peasants.
Have a wonderful week.
Kitty Katty Videos says,
What's the difference between commenting for Sebastian,
and writing a test?
(burp)
(OOC) Oh God! I... was holding that in.
I thought I could make it 'til the end of the line but...
(burp)
No, I could not... hold that burp in. (outro music starts)
(burp)
MORTY
OOF! Okay, let's try again.
Look up.
What's that?
It's the Ciel-ing!
(OOC) I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
Ciel Phantomhive's 10th bi-
UUUUUUHH my God I'm gonna burp.
I burped.
(outro music)