-The last time I talked to you was,
is it true that it was five years ago?
-Was it that long? -Yeah.
It was longer than that, maybe. It was "Late Night."
-Oh, it was. -Yeah.
What do you remember about that, if anything?
-What a wonderful time. But I must say, mate,
it was the first time I'd done one of these talk shows before.
-Yeah.
-And I've had conversations before.
-You have? [ Laughter ]
-I have, I have. -Assuming, yeah. Hope so.
-Yeah, there's other elements, like there's an audience,
and I don't know if you realize but it's televised, as well.
-Yes. -On the television.
-It's on the television. Yeah.
-Yeah. -It's televised.
-So I was really nervous, and I don't know
if you know much about talk shows,
but you usually tell anecdotes, where, you know, you're like --
you talk about some kind of things that might come up.
And I completely -- When I watch them on talk shows.
I always go, "He's setting that up.
So obvious he's setting that up for that person
to talk about their funny story. -Yeah.
-But when I was in the show, I did not know.
I did not know you were setting me up to tell my funny story.
[ Laughter ]
You're asking me questions, and I was going,
"Yeah, that's true." [ Laughter ]
You're like, "And any funny stories
that happened around that time?" "Not that I can remember."
[ Laughter ]
-I kept setting you up? -Yeah. And I didn't get it.
I just didn't get it. And then, at the end,
I was so relieved, I just said, "Can I go now?"
And you said, "Usually people stay for a little while."
And you said, "But it's cool if you go."
And I went, "Okay, I'm just gonna go."
And then I went all the way to the hotel,
and your producer called me,
and I still had the microphone on.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm so so-- [ Laughs ] -It's all right.
-I'm so sorry. -As long as you guys
didn't hear me going, "Oh, whew! Oh, God, that was horrible."
[ Laughter ]
-We did not hear that at all. -Oh, good, you turned it off.
-Yeah, exactly, yeah.
-I did all kinds of stuff with that microphone on.
It's a big relief. -Oh, yeah.
No, thank goodness.
We have no record of anything that you said.
-Okay, good. -Not at all.
-Have you returned the microphone tonight?
-I'm wearing the same one. I've been keeping --
-Oh, my God.
And the battery lasted for five years, you guys.
How great is that? [ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah.
-Jemaine, I do have to say --
You know, I love you from "Flight of the Conchords,"
but, also, I love you as the crab in "Moana."
-Oh, thanks, yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
It was so well done. It was very you
but very a little Bowie-esque thrown in there,
and it was just well done.
I mean, do people just want you to record on their phones?
Or, what are they -- -People don't really --
Because I don't look like a crab...
[ Laughter ] ...they don't really know.
-That's how you get away with it.
Dude, that's smart, yeah. That's smart, yeah.
-For this show that I'm talking about tonight,
we're into Comic Con. And there's people in cosplay.
-Yeah. -Costume play.
And when I was leaving, I saw these two people,
a man dressed as Maui from "Moana"...
-Sure. -...and then a woman
in this elaborate costume, Te Fiti,
the island Goddess from the movie.
And I thought, "I'm gonna give these guys
a bit of a thrill." [ Laughter ]
They're taking a selfie, and I just, like, slid in there.
I just slid in. [ Laughter ]
And they're like --
Yeah, they started looking at me like that.
Yeah, and I was like, "Oh, yeah, you guys don't know,
I'm -- I'm, uh... I do the voice of Tamatoa."
And they're like, "You mean, you can do an impression?"
They didn't know what I meant. [ Laughter ]
I said, "No, no.
If you look up IMDb, look at 'Moana.'
I'm the guy who does the voice.
-You're saying this to the people?
"Look up IMDb and find me. Google my face"?
-Yeah, not now, 'cause they're using their phone
to take a selfie. -That's the worst!
Photobombing, they have no idea who you are.
[ Laughter ]
They're like, "What is this guy talking about?"
Oh, my God.
I want to see those photos, if you have them.
-I would love to see that photo. -#Awkward Jemaine Clement.
'Cause it's got to be out there.
Next time you come on, I want to show it.
That'd be great.
-Let's talk about your new show on FX.
Man, it's fantastic. -Oh, thanks.
-If you guys like vampires and --
-These guys love vampires. -You guys, you like vampires?
[ Cheers and applause ]
If you like Staten Island. You guys like Staten Island?
Well, this is -- [ Cheers and applause ]
Explain what this show is.
-Well, this is a documentary. -Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah.
Yeah, so, serious documentary. -I apologize.
I'm making light of this. -No, no, it's very --
I mean, people -- people die. -Yeah.
-There's vampires. -Absolutely, yeah.
They've been around -- They've been in Staten Island
for how many years you think? -Since the 1800s.
-Wow. Good gosh.
-Yeah, so there's a lot of footage.
-Yeah, and they allowed the cameras --
they allowed the cameras to follow them around?
-I mean, usually. Yes.
It's very dangerous. It's very brave.
I'm a very brave person to make this show...
[ Laughter ] ...to be so close to vampires.
-Well, there's different types of vampires, correct?
-There's the type that everyone's used to.
The blood type. They drink blood.
-Yep. Yep.
-And there's another kind of vampire -- an energy vampire.
-I don't know. I'm not familiar with that one.
-You do know them. They -- People --
They often corner you in parties,
and they'll have long conversations with you,
and you can't get out. [ Laughter ]
And you feel more and more tired.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Energy vampire? -Yeah.
-So they'll corner you in a party, and --
-You feel more and more tired, and they get that energy.
[ Laughter ]
-They suck the energy out of you, yeah.
Interesting. I want to show everyone a clip.
Here's a scene from the premiere of "What We Do in the Shadows."
Take a look at this.
-I would like some of that colorful dust that sparkles.
-Glitter? -Yes, get me some glitter.
-Whatever for, master?
-Well, I want to do something special
for the Immortal One's arrival.
I'm going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body.
Like "Twilight."
So deliciously macabre.
Creepy paper.
-It's crepe paper. -Creepy paper.
-It's crepe paper, master.
-Creepy -- Oh, multipack.
-Master, this is pretty macabre.
-Yeesh.
-Aah! Aah!
-Oh, my goodness. [ Cheers and applause ]
Jemaine Clement, everybody.