Paris Geller: we know her, we love her. "Is it raining? No, it's National
Baptism day. Get your tubes tied, idiot." She's a complex and multifaceted character in Gilmore
Girls and I'll be analyzing several psychological factors that contribute to her personality and
behaviors. "Well what do you want? Fluoxetine protecting? I have others floating around the
bottom of my purse, I have no idea what they are, but just popping if you can't hurt. My
name's Heather, I'm a registered professional counselor and I analyze characters and scenes
from Gilmore Girls. Before I dive in deeper make sure to subscribe to my channel for more Gilmore
Girls analysis videos. Paris is an only child and is often ignored by her wealthy parents. Paris'
mother made a single appearance in Gilmore Girls. "You can't just leave now. Paris please.
At least come to my lit class." We see that Paris is trying to connect with her mom, but is met with
belittlement and rejection. "Use that cover stick I got you." Paris made it clear on multiple occasions
that her mother and father were both cold distant and largely uninterested in her life. "I did tell my
mother about having sex with Jamie and her only reaction was to talk about how my father hasn't
pleased her in 15 years." Paris feels rejected and wonders of her parents truly care for her. "I wonder
if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like that. Paris, you know she would. Yeah or at
least she'd send somebody." As a result, Paris has an anxious-avoidant attachment style which is evident
in her difficulty in forming close and trusting relationships with others. "It's about making
enemies where you should have made friends. How did I make you my enemy? Oh I think you know."
Paris is a perfectionist which is evident in her academic and professional pursuits. "I want to win and I'm
going to win." Paris is highly driven and motivated to succeed but this can also lead to her being
highly critical of herself and others. "I come from the big city where money talks and I'm paying good
money for this place and I was scheduled to keep. Be careful darling or your face is going to freeze
like that." She has a deep sense of insecurity and wants to be seen as perfect and intelligent
because those are the only aspects people seem to Value about her. "Everyone in the whole school hates
me. Oh yeah, they think I'm the best for the job but they don't want to go to the mall with me so
they won't vote for me and that means I'm going to lose." She feels the need to be perfect in order
to gain acceptance from others and fears that people will abandon her if she falls short of
that. "They had to really not like me for me not to get in. Paris... It's like they know me or something.
Stop." She carries the heavy burden and expectation from her family that she must attend Harvard like
the rest of them. "Ten generations of Gellers have gone to Harvard. I have to go to Harvard." And this has put a lot
of pressure on her to succeed academically from an early age. "I've been a camp counselor, I organized
a senior literacy program, I worked a suicide hotline, I manned a runaway center, I've adopted
dolphins, taught sign language." When she doesn't get into Harvard, she is worried about how her
family will react and fear is her boyfriend Jamie will dump her. "What if he doesn't love me anymore?
What if he doesn't think I'm special anymore? How am I going to tell him I didn't get into
Harvard?" Both of these concerns are rooted in the fear that people will reject her with these high
pressures and academic pursuits as a child she misses out on being a child. "When did you have
time to have a life? I'll have a life after I graduate from Harvard." This may also impact her
anxiety around social situations and her ability to relate to others. "I am not cut out to deal with
people. I was made to be in a lab or a operating room or a bunker somewhere with a well-behaved
monkey by my side." Rejection is painful for people who are anxiously attached because
it confirms doubts about their self-worth and robs them of the feeling of security that others would
provide them with. "I'm actually heading with my group back to our house so I really can't.
Okay, whatever. You don't want to celebrate with me, that's just fine!" Deep down, Paris wants to be
accepted and to feel like she belongs. We see the staring times when Rory would invite her
to events. "I was just thinking maybe you want to stay for dinner. Here? Yeah." But in other social
situations, she feels pressured to belong as a way to gain acceptance from her family. "I have to get
into that group, I just have to. My family's name and reputation, not to mention my entire future
all depends on me getting into that group." Paris loves to be in control of her surroundings and the
people in her life. "You're the green marker. Green was a random choice, not a subtle comment about how
inexperienced you are with real life matters. Then again, maybe it was." She often struggles to delegate
tasks or trust others to do things her way. This need for control can make her appear bossy or
domineering to others which can put a strain on her relationships. "Anyway, population control has
been dramatically successful in most European countries to the detriment of some especially
Italy, which is experiencing a March drop has anything to do whoa whoa just let me finish
my thought here please." She may be using control as a way to manage her anxiety but also because she
has a hard time trusting others in general. "I can do it alone. I've been doing it alone for months. No man
is an island, but this woman is." Anxiously avoidant individuals tend to focus on potential relational
threats and any indication of rejection or betrayal. This is most noticeable with her
friendship with Rory. "You told her about Jamie. I can't believe I ever considered you my best friend."
Paris has a hard time admitting she's wrong or even apologizing as people who are more avoidantly attached have a hard time
showing vulnerability. "I'm... That's okay." She has a hard time trusting Rory, often jumping to
conclusions and expecting Rory to betray her. "I'm not your enemy. Oh really? Enemies move in silence
and strike when their prey is weakest, pretty much sums you up, doesn't it editor Gilmore!" This type
of reactivity is often a form of trauma response. Pushing people away and attacking them may be a
common tactic anxiously attached people use to see if the other person cares enough to fight
for them or to prove themselves to be trustworthy. "You said once if I ever needed to talk to anyone
I could come talk to you. Yes, I did. Well here I am." Paris was mostly raised by her Portuguese
Nanny if we see a glimpse of their close and warm relationship during her graduation from
Chilton. Her Nanny's presence served as a stabilizing pillar in Paris' life. She
is one of the few people she trusts and relies on. "Remember my nanny? I lost her over the summer.
I'm sorry what happened? She opened a poo paceria in Boise. So she's okay? Yeah, but I was pretty lost."
It's clear that there is a deep affection and care between Paris and her nanny. "You know Nanny.
That makes me sad that you don't remember Nanny, she always liked you." As she continues to rely on
her for help, such as when she came to help Doyle when he was sick at Yale. "Doyle relax Nanny took
care of me for years." We see that history repeats itself as she expresses that her kids hate her
and favor the nanny. "Last Christmas they cried all morning till she came. I don't blame them
I like the nanny too, I cry sometimes when she leaves." Ultimately recreating the same dynamics
as her childhood with her parents. Paris also felt a connection to Lorelai and looked up to her as
a result of having such little maternal love in her life. "Oh what are you doing? I'm giving you a
hug. Why? Just give in to it baby, come on, you can do it. That a girl. Unclench the fists, Paris." Every time
Lorelai interacts with Paris, she is kind and welcoming and ultimately represents a stable
adult figure to Paris. "Just decide whatever it is you want to do and do it. I can try that I guess,
thanks." Over time, it's clear Paris has come to feel a lot of affection for Lorelai as a
surrogate parent figure. "Lorelei is the only mother I ever had except for Nanny Soledad."
Despite her tough exterior, Paris is a deeply vulnerable person who has experienced emotional
pain. "His parents not so great. We have that in common." She often uses her wit and intelligence
as a defense mechanism to protect herself from getting hurt. "I just don't see what putting my
hand on your head is going to get you. I'm not a shaman, Doyle, I don't have healing powers"
She would also push people away if she senses a form of threat or feels a sense of betrayal.
"I just tend to believe the worst in people, you know. Oh yeah, I know." However, when she feels safe
in a relationship, she opens up. "You're gonna do such great things with your life, Rory."
She has a deep sense of insecurity.
"Now get in the closet. What? If he comes in here and sees you he wouldn't want to date me
anymore. Please? I can't risk it at least if there's something to compare me to
then I've got a fighting chance, please." She can be incredibly caring. "You can't get up.
Rory said you need complete bed rest. She trusted me with your well-being, I cannot
betray that trust." And protective of that person. "Isn't it New Haven's favorite whorehound. Is Rory
here? Yes. Can I talk to her? No." Overall, Paris Geller is a complex and interesting character
who embodies a range of psychological traits and challenges. Her struggles with
anxious avoidant attachment, perfectionism, control issues, and desires to be accepted
maker of relatable and compelling character on Gilmore Girls. What are your thoughts on
Paris? Let me know in the comments below. Thanks for watching and make sure to give this video
a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe for more analysis videos of Gilmore Girls.