Hello, everybody!
My name is Markiplier, and welcome to Medieval Engineers.
Now, as a former engineer, or 'former engineer,'
considering that I didn't finish school and never actually got my diploma, and I'm not actually-
Okay...
Well, now I'm sad.
And I was gonna start this off with such a happy, peppy mood.
But now...
We're going to relive my dreams as a medieval engineer!
Whatever the hell that means...
So the whole principle of this game is like an open-world thing,
where you build and craft castles and machinery,
and you get to destroy things.
It's all custom built.
You do what you...
[unintelligible mumbling]
If your imagination tells you to build something, you BUILD it!
You FUCK!
So I dabbled with this, just a little bit.
I dabbled, on my own.
I didn't know what I was doing, but I dabbled!
Just a tiny, itty bit on a custom world.
And it didn't make a lot of sense to me,
and I don't know how to do it because...
The resource system is intense,
and the AI didn't work very well.
So, what I am going to try is I'm gonna try and explore some worlds
Maybe go to multiplayer because I don't know if there is going to be anybody that wants to help me.
AHHHhhhh
There's no one online.
Ahh, this game is dead
Ahhh shit.
There's no one playing
There's is just one guy playing.
And he's on a private server.
Well shit
I guess I'm on my fucking own.
Time to make a custom world
cause I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Two houses, Plains, Castle
Bridges, large terrain, normal terrain, small terrain
Very small terrain
I don't know what any of these is
I haven't played the game. I don't know
I'ma open it to the public. Not that there's going to be anybody online
but I'ma going to do it.
Do I want like a bonkers day/night cycle?
yeah okay lets go
lets uh lets have some fun here.
maybe like nights like just a flash in the pan
nothing
night night just like
boop
ohh ohh ohh ohh
was that was that night
holy shit. name is....
"I NEED FRIENDS"
pleaaase
*chuckle* I'm sooo lonely
So the whole principle of this game is
freedom and creativity of those which
I do not have
I I don't possess those elements
So I am going to go into this blind
and hope for the best.
cause that's what I'm going to do.
*slurping*
Hello! *gasps* Is this me?
Is that me? Ohhh, is that me?
I mean I'm...
am I the King or am I the engineer?
I don't know which
OOoo I've got inventories.
Hello! Hi sir.
Do I bow?
*Microphone smack* Ow, fuck.
I think I might have actually cut myself
Well that joke wasn't worth it
OOOOHhh Great
Ohh ho ho
OOhhhh look at that!
It crashed
Ho
Welp
Hooah fuck me
Here we go, okay.
It saved it, okay.
BAM World I need
friends is loaded. okay
So
Ahh there's multiple statues
I don't see any trees
I got a problem
right off the bat.
Is is no fuck trees
where the, where the
fuck are the trees
How am I going to
get anything
I don't have any trees
Well there's nothing.
Oh, theres a whole lotta nothing
OOoo
Why am I here?
I am so lonely.
Fuck that
Okay that that didn't
fucking work
lets try that again. One with
trees and such
Even like even small terrain
has some trees.
Okay I'ma do normal terrain.
Oh.
That's much better.
I like this a lot
Oh no!
It's the statue of crashing.
Better get away from here.
OOoaaarroo
So you can get...
bots
is the most important
thing to do
to understand here
and the bots
can become
wood cutters
and miners
and porters
which are important for
trans porting
your bull crap
so whats going to happen here
is I need to make servents so.....
*Markiplier birthing sounds*
I don't know what I'm doing
but uh I think
I;m creating life
*Man grunts*
*Blows raspberry*
Hello, Cedric!
Hi...
..Baxter.
Hello Collon
Hello Luke.
Hellow Berowick!
Okay, everybody had...
a normal name besides you...
BEROWICK!
Ho, good. I need friends...
has saved.
That's good. Man you are you
giant or am I small
Don't say I'm short!
YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE LUKE!
TELL ME I'M TALL.
LUKE!?
Say it!
OOOOAARGH! DON'T LOOK AWAY.
Okay, so, so what
if all my AI bots are
taller than I am. Am I crouched?
*GASP* I was crouching
*Chuckles*
Who's the tall asshole now? It's me!
Okay so.
I need to set up a wood cutting area
*whispers* I'ma put it in the woods.
It's the wood, that's the
wood cutting area!
Ya, got an area for your cutting of wood.
Ya, gotta cut wood in the wood area.
Alright, and so and then....
..oh...
Oh geez!
Hey hey hey hey
hey guys, boys boys boys
boys come on now.
Stop being rowdy there's
enough of me to go around for
everybody.
Oh man.
Luke is a hustling
mining area
Lets put the...god damn it
you freaks
Okay stockpile's right there
I don't know how this works
I've never really done this
God stop, stop trying to suck my dick
Stop staring at my balls
Luke
Your a porter
or your gonna be
your gonna be a porter Luke.
Okay hes hes ready to port
So we need
Two woodcutters, so Cedric.
And Collon
Not Berowick
No Berowick your gonna be....
No Berowick come back here!
There you go. Okay. He huh. *snort* Okay.
And then uh...oh hi!
Holy shit Baxter. Okay.
Baxter go for it.
Go to the mining area.
Give me some mines.
And then...Luke you better be
porting up a storm over there
because I need materials
and I need them now.
Is it night already? Is this night?
Is this what night is I can't tell.
Think I see some stars.
Oooo I doo
*gasp* It's so pretty.
This game is delightful.
Oh man it's always nice
to stop yelling at your children
to apre... oh Beelzebub
The hell is that?
Okay.
Well that's concerning.
Berowick what you doing over there?
Are you are you angering the
the the the mountain Gods?
Oh geez
Good job Baxter!
Berowick?
Ber Ber Berowick!?
Ber...OH MY GOD!!!
BEROWICK did one of these rocks
fall and break your neck?
Berowick!?
Say something!
Berowick, how many times
do I gotta tell you
you need to get ribs removed
to do that. Okay, thank you Berowick.
I'm gonna
gonna take these stones since
Mister Porty man doesn't seem to be
porting them any where. Why?
wha what?
Baxter?
What are you doing?
Baxter it's not going to work.
Berowick you're not even holding it right.
Oh my god.
I hope
I re I really hope that maybe.
maybe the foresting crews
is just going to be a little better off than this because
Holy shit oh Luke.
Lu Luke?
Luke?
Luke, little buddy?
LUKE?
Are you going for that log
you could pick up at any time?
Is this in your way?
Try not to hit you.
Eh. I got it.
Uhh
*grunt*
Here we go
It's look out!
Okay.
Luke?
Luuke?
Luke? Uhh
Uhh
Aaaaa
he did it
he's a portin
nice
Alright Collon how you doing?
Is this in your way Collon?
Collon don't try to hide from me.
Oh god
He's blended in with the forest.
Luke Luke *gasp*
Luke you almost had it.
Come on buddy you can do it. Luke?
You you just stop standing over it
when you're trying to pick it up
Luke?
Luuke?
Luke? Come on.
There...ohh.. come on luke. *chuckle*
*grunts*
I didn't know thats the proper picking
up technique
Does that use all of your lower back?
Oh geez Luke I saw that.
Don't try to hide from me.
You know what? I get a funny feeling
I gotta do a lot of this mano e mano now.
and uh.
I don't know how this is gonna go
but I'ma try my best.
Cue the epic
resource gathering montage. *Epic montage begins*
♫YEAH YEAH THIS IS THE MONTAGE SONG♫
♫ME AND MY BOYS ARE UP IN THIS VALLEY FOR SO LONG♫
♫WE'RE GONNA GET ROCKS AND BASH THEM ALL TOGETHER♫
♫AND THEN WE'LL MAKE A HOUSE THAT'LL STAND FOREVER♫
♫THEN WE'LL GO GRAB LOGS FROM ALL THE TREES IN THE WOODS♫
♫OH NO BARBARIANS♫ *Epic montage ends*
Whoa whoa eh whoa whoa whoa who are you?
who the fuck are you?
Get out of here.
Oh fuck you.
Fuck you dude.
Fuck you. Where'd you come from?
Who the fuck are you? I know I'm hurt.
Oh but he's hurt more.
Oh eat a dick.
Eat a big fat dick. Uh oh.
Oh no.
Oh
Oh that guy murdered my boys.
Oh well that sucks I, I guess
Wait ub this guy didn't have an axe
oh it dropped on the ground oookay
He killed him then he put lall his equipment
in this pit.
Well that's rather sad but now
I can make new servants.
Alright Gerrad and Fredrich.
You're both going to be porters.
Because I've apparently discovered that
I I can't rely on anyone to do anything
so I've gotta do it all myself.
Returning to the Epic Resource Montage. *Epic Resource Montage begins*
♫OH NO BARBARIAN'S OVER THE HILLS♫
♫THEY'RE GONNA KILL US AND TAKE ALL OF OUR STUFF♫
♫SO WE'VE GOT TO KILL THEM FIRST♫
♫OH SHIT IT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF SCHOOL CHILDREN♫
♫NOW WE'RE MURDERERS AND HAVE TO FIGHT THE POLICE♫
♫WHEN THE COME FOR US AND TAKE US TO JAIL♫
♫OH I HOPE THEY DON'T MAKE US SCREAM AND WAIL♫
*Epic Resource Montage Ends* Alright, so now...
basically what I did is I made everyone a porter.
so that they'll port shit
and I'll gather up the resources.
Inventories full never mind I can't do that.
Hey anybody want to port up some of the...you know...
...other stuff....
no? okay you're just gonna put it okay.
It's it's gonna if you you literally
How much wood has rolled down the hill?
I see a log down there...oh god.
So this is besides the point
what we need to do is we need to build shit
Why can't I make stone?
Timber? Wood and sticks
*groans*
Wood and railing for safety.
Wood and wall.
Wood and stairs.
Lank towers
*groans* This gonna take awhile.
I can do this.
Okay I can do this. I can build.
Okay, okay I have no timber.
*groans* I don't have anything I need.
*groans* I don't have anything.
How the freak do you build something then/
Oh I can crrrraft....
...ohhhh.
Oh that's handy okay.
That's how I do that thing
Oh there's craafting
My inventories full, fuuck.
I'ma eat these mushes.
T.hats going to be good. That probably tasted really good.
Uh oh.
Does that mean I'm in trouble?
I need a log.
I thought I had log.
I'm gonna build a campfire and put some logs in it.
So three
put that right there.
*exclaims in satisfaction* Hell yeah.
Uh need large stone to build box
but I just I just did
I have large stone!
What are you talking about I have it!
Right there large stone
I've got 2, I've got oddles of it! I got ODDLES.
Whhhaaat *whisper* am I doing?
Oh Hi hello friend ow god damn it my face
HELP!
HELLP!
Luke, Garret HELP!
No, no don't go after Collon.
You dick.
Hey hey ow
Fuck
He's gonna kill me.
OOOHH You sack of shit.
You je you je you think you can take me...huh?
You think you can take me?
Huh?
You think you good?
Huh?
Huh/
Ahhh I got beat to shit.
Ugh my boys!
Ooohhh...
nooo.
I'm at my cart?
Fuck this?
I'M COMING BOYS!
BOYS!
I'm comiing.
Oohhh I'm cumming boys.
Don't die!
Don't die boys.
OH GOD!
Oh he's gonna kill them all.
Oh geez. Oh.
Oh no.
Oh two are gone.
Oh god.
Oh he's right there.
Oh he's devastating them
Oh and I'm out of stamina. God damn it.
Okay, I'm going to pause.
Barbarian you better not be hitting Garret!
Garret?
Garret run.
NNOOOOOOOOO!
You won't take my boys from me.
Yeah, thats right! Oh your dead.
God damn it fuck you dude.
Fuck you dude with no neck.
YOU...
YOU KILLED MY BOYS!
I will never forgive you even though you're dead now.
*Grunting* All right.
How'da, okay, how do I how do I build a god damn
How do I build a god damn
oh all my stone is gone.
all my stuff.
oh I saw it. It was right here. Where'd it go?
There it is. Okay
Gimme that stuff
Give me these.
Now I need to craft
more wooden sticks
I don't know why the music is still playing
I better not be under attack soon
Oh I need a crafting table.
Ohhhh.
Oh that makes seeense.
Okay good put down a crafting table.
Put that and boop. Okay that's good right there.
And I don't need to craft anymore stop that.
Get out of my inventory. Get get get get get get get
Okay. So now that I have the crafting table.
*Groans* Now that I have the crafting table.
How do I? Whoooa.
Ahhhh
Now we're cooking.
And now we're cooking.
But, now we're not cooking because I can't make any of these
Why I have
I have wooden sticks right there!
They're right there, oh I need to put them on
the crafting table
oh that makes more sense
Log. How about stones?
How about stones? How about stones?
Foliage? How about small stones?
What can I build now?
Ohhhh.
NOW we're getting into it!
NOW we're doing it.
Alright I don't know how to make a trebuchet.
Oh but maybe I can make a house?
Oh yeah.
Oh I can do that.
Oh hell yeah.
Okay. I'm gonna unlock the,
oh I'm gonna make a chair nevermind.
I thought I was gonna unlock that but okay.
And now with my new found genius.
I shall...
roootate it oh god
Bam I have made chair.
How the fuck do I sit in this?
Oh shit bam I have made chair.
Everybody bow before my
power of chair
Why is this here?
When us uh get get down
nature you don't belong here!
Okay never mind thats
not gonna go anywhere apparentlly.
Alright so now uhhhhhh.
I neeed
to make
a wall
I need to make a wooden floor first
What we need is we need one of these.
I can't see what this is.
Is this anything? Why is it so low into the ground?
What? What?
Okay.
And bam good enough
but it's not done because
I don't have enough timber
*mumbling*
But I can make walls.
That's what I can do.
That's definantlly what I can do.
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Everybody watch.
BAM
Ohhh shit oh it's dark.
I'm not gonna be able to put these defenses up
before my boys get destroyed.
I need sticks. *Angry grunting* God damn it.
I think my I think my.
Uh oh.
Ahhh shit
Well tits.
Good thing it's almost over already
*Gasps* Darth Brandon
Can I communicate with him?
I need friends so badly.
How do I communicate with people?
Is there a short cut for that?
I gotta look that up.
Controls.
Systems one? No.
Systems two? No.
Is he here?
Oh thats not, thats not him.
That's a barbarian.
Oh there's multiple barbarians.
Ahhh Garret!
Garrets dead!
Darth Brandon where you at?
Oh god.
Oh god they're murdering Collon.
There's nothing I can do.
There's so many of them.
Why is there so many of them?
That better not be Darth Brandon.
Is this Darth Brandon's doing?
Oh he's flailing wildly.
Darth Brandon!? HELP!
Bradon?
Ohhh
Shit
I'm fucked and alone.
Oh god what are they doing?
Ahh they broke my chair.
Screw you assholes.
You all deserve to die.
Ow.
Not enough stamina
I guess I gotta take my beatings.
Fuuuuck
Youuuu
stock still
I just wanted to fall right into my grave.
*Groans in defeat* All righty then.
I just wanna kill these guys and get revenge.
I'm gonna get revenge.
Are they, are they bashing up my table.
What do I need for a table?
I'm gonna go the counter wompus way.
I need two logs.
Oh I"ma come for you. I'ma come for you guys.
You think I don't know how to do.
Huh?
You think I won't get revenge for my boysss?
Ow. Ehhhhh. I think I've got two small stones
Yes I do. Yes I've got more than two.
Okay I'ma go up on my hill
and you guys are gonna get it.
Just soon as I catch my breath. I'm out of stamina.
Blah
You guys are gonna get it.
I hope you all line up in one.
Just put your heads one infront of the another
for me that will do me a lot of favors.
I mean you killed all my children, so I
I'd hope you'd be willing to do me some favors here.
Gotta put the wooden sticks in here.
Put the small stone in there.
Take one of these cross burs
Oh they're getting close.
*grunt*
*grunts*
Boom bitch.
How do I...
reload?
Oh geez.
Eh gawh. Headshot
Oh god it didn't do anything.
*spooky ghost sounds*
You gonna reload?
Eh. Oh geez.
Ha ha, bitch.
That's what you get.
Oh geez. Come on.
Hooooooe
Smacked you right upside your head.
Oh he had more crossbows.
That guy literally had crossbows.
Wow.
And a hammer.
Wow.
I'm an idiot.
Ohhh.
I'm not an idiot. How would I have known?
But still.
I'm an idiot. That guys got shrooms, I'ma eat them all.
*Moaning sounds*
Oh, just one guy left.
Well .... time for some ... long range.
Derr, oh I'm
dead now and twitching.
This is my dead dance. *Dead Dance Music starts*
*Dead dance music*
*Dead Dance Music stops* "Urrrgh my neck"
"Urrrrgh!"
"Tell my family....."
"...ahhh fuck them."
Nom nom nom nom. I ate all your roots bitch.
Bitch, okay.
WHAT THE
fuck????
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WHAT THE FUCK?
*grunts*
Alright so I guess I"m all done here.
I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.
But it uh looks like it has potential
but there's just no one playing it.
So, either way.
That is all for "Medival Engineers" for right now.
Thank you everybody so much for watching.
Let me know if you want to see another one of these
I don't know what I could possibly do
besides build a castle maybe
or build a machine but who knows.
So, thank you again.
And as always I will see you
in the next video.
Bye Bye.
CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY YOUTUBE VOLUNTEERS.