[APPLAUSE]
I'm so happy you're here.
What amazing audience!
Yeah.
See?
[APPLAUSE]
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't know why it's taken so long,
but I'm glad you're here now.
I just am a huge fan.
Thank you.
Huge, huge fan.
Thank you very much.
Now let's talk about The Most Powerful--
Is it-- What were you on Time magazine?
Most Powerful Man in the Universe,
or something like that?
Yes.
That's exactly right.
I was Most Powerful--
I was in that Most Influential People of the Year thing.
But what appalls me, I was voted Man Most Women Secretly Fancy.
That's the recent one, right?
Yeah.
[APPLAUSE]
Well, no.
No, no.
[CHEERING]
That's-- that's not a good thing.
That's not a compliment.
Because that means if it's secretly fancy,
that means they're ashamed of it.
Why do they even admit it?
I mean, how did they get it out of them?
Who do you fancy?
Was it under interrogation?
Was it like Jack Bauer saying, who do you fancy?
OK, it's Ricky Gervais.
It's-- Why make it a secret?
[LAUGHTER]
But nonetheless, they fancy you.
Yeah.
I don't know who these people are.
They--
[LAUGHTER]
They don't get out enough.
I don't know.
I think more people just need to know more
about you, because I fancy you.
I think you're absolutely brilliant and hilarious.
Thank you.
And you must know that about yourself.
Now I'm impressed with that.
Yeah, good.
That you fancy me.
I'll come out and say it.
[LAUGHTER]
I won't be closeted about that at all.
I will tell you right now.
That's how I feel about you.
I'm proud of that.
Because you are very--
And in this movie--
and you wrote it.
So, obviously, you wrote these lines to say.
You make fun of your weight, you make fun of your looks.
You make fun of all kinds of things about yourself
in the film.
Why?
Well, because, unlike this show with a lovely audience
and you're being gracious, most people--
they want to say it anyway.
So I try and get it in before them.
So it pulls them up.
So if I walk down the street, usually, and they're shouting,
hey, you loser!
You're fat.
So I get out there before them--
Who's yelling that at you?
Who's saying, you loser, as you walk down the street?
Well, maybe they're not.
But--
[LAUGHTER]
In your head?
In my head, they're saying it.
Uh-huh.
They're thinking it.
Yeah.
Because the whole thing with you and Jennifer Garner--
I love the movie, by the way.
It's hilarious, and smart, and just--
It's just--
Oh, thank you.
--really, really clever.
But, you know, Jennifer Garner plays
someone you're interested in.
And it just tears you apart.
Yes.
I mean, it's a world where the human race hasn't
evolved the gene for lying.
So everyone tells the absolute truth.
And it's their nature.
I mean, they say things like, Oh, your baby's so ugly.
And so I get beaten up.
They tell me I'm a little fat loser and everything.
But then I discover I can lie.
So now the shoe's on the other foot.
Now it's like a superpower.
So people believe everything I say.
Yeah.
So I can do anything I want.
So--
It's really beautiful too, when you start lying.
It's a very touching scene.
Yeah.
It is.
No, it is.
Because--
It's a weird time that he starts--
No, it's the second time you lie, with your mother.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
When my mother is dying in the scene.
It goes from, sort of, comedy to drama.
And there's some big questions about life and death,
and all that.
I mean, it's not just a comedy.
But--
Are you a liar?
Every day.
So that's honest.
I think of myself--
And doing this film, I realized that I'm an honest person when
it counts.
But I tell those white lies that--
I lie every day.
When someone says, Oh, can you come to my baby's christening?
And, you know, I'd rather be at home, drunk in my pants.
Mm-hmm.
That's honest.
I mean, I usually am, when the phone goes.
Uh-huh.
I mean-- But I say things like, Oh, I'm really too busy.
They say, what are you doing?
I go, giving blood at the orphanage.
Because I don't want to say the truth--
no, I don't like you enough.
I don't want to spend 5 hours with you and your family.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm going home and taking my trousers off,
and drinking wine.
So when you haven't been here, is it because you really
couldn't be here, or--
[APPLAUSE]
No.
[APPLAUSE]
I was giving blood at the orphanage.
Ah!
OK.
All right.
I mean, I'm running out of blood.
Yeah. (LAUGHING) But that's what I love about this film.
Because it really is that honest, to be able to say,
I don't really care for you that much to spend that much time
with you.
The first half of the film is, obviously, you're
laughing at these people saying these brutally honest things
to me.
But then the second half, you're enjoying
what I can do with the lies, and what I can get away with.
And then, as I say, it moves into more dramatic territory,
because he says one lie that gets, sort of, taken up
and it changes the world.
So now I've got to live with it.
Yes, it does.
I don't want to give anything away.
No, it's really-- it's very, very smart.
You had a band.
Is that correct?
In the '80s.
Was it the '80s?
Right.
Like Wham!?
See, I wish it was just pictures of me at home in my pants,
with a--
Yes, I did.
It was a long time ago.
Yo, it was when?
80--
'83, '84.
Well, let's show the first one.
Look at that.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Look at that.
Very-- That modern--
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
--Modern English kind of feel, right?
You look like the guy from Modern English
It's a very specific pop--
Yeah.
--band look.
You see, after that video was shot, I discovered pizza.
[APPLAUSE]
This is not a movie.
I said, right-- Yeah.
I said, right, I've got that on film.
Right, let's eat.
[LAUGHTER]
Let's eat now for the next 20 years.