♪ Here's our jingle for Goldfish ♪
♪ The wholesome snack that smiles back ♪
♪ until you bite their heads off ♪
- David here is not one to complain.
But one day we were talking about Google Fi.
- I hate these Google Fi commercials.
They are so annoying.
- Okay.
- That got us thinking
as bad as Google Fi's jingles are,
how do they stack up
to the worst advertising songs of all time?
- Be warned. Each one is worse than the last.
(funky music)
♪ My name is Cecil ♪
♪ I'll sell you gas or diesel ♪
♪ Cars on my lot ♪
♪ Some of them new, some of them not ♪
♪ I got a tricked out crew ♪
♪ They got one job to do ♪
♪ Tend to your needs, take good care ♪
♪ Make sure they treat you honest and fair ♪
♪ So many deals far and above ♪
♪ one of these babies, you're sure to love ♪
♪ Come find a car and we'll do our part ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm Cecil Myers ♪
♪ The dealer with a heart ♪
- You can really hear the MC Hammer influence
in the way that Cecil raps.
♪ I know you're down ♪
♪ A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown ♪
♪ And I known ♪
- I mean, that's what I thought
as soon as I heard this commercial,
Can't Touch This.
♪ You can't touch this ♪
- He's got the same phrasing.
I kind of like this commercial,
even though it's terrible.
- Yeah, I would've gone with a ballad
since he is the Dealer with a Heart.
I'm not sure I really get
that branding, but I mean,
Cecil had to stay true to his roots.
- Do you really wanna hear him sing a ballad?
- I would.
I would like to hear him sing a ballot actually, yes.
- If they had car dealerships in Lord of the Rings,
I think Cecil would've been a shoo-in for the part.
Let's go to the next one.
- Hey kids.
- Follow the bouncing plate.
♪ Oink oink, ZooPals ♪
♪ Buzz buzz, ZooPals ♪
♪ Quack quack, ZooPals ♪
♪ ZooPals make eating fun ♪
♪ When you clean your plate ♪
♪ then you see their face ♪
♪ Hoot hoot, ZooPals ♪
♪ Ribbet ribbet, ZooPals ♪
♪ Woof woof, ZooPals ♪
♪ ZooPals make eating fun ♪
♪ ZooPals ♪
- I remember these ads from when I was a kid
and I feel bad for the parents who are, you know,
at home on their Saturday weekend,
the kids watching cartoons,
and this is the ad that comes on.
- This is a very confusing ad to me.
Why are their mascots cutlery on drugs?
Check out the expression of the spoon there.
That guy is-
- Yeah. Well, his eyes are orange.
I do think the marketing strategy behind this product
is interesting, you know,
between all the ads of toys
and candy and breakfast cereal you've got plates
and I'm just trying to picture a scenario
where the kids watching cartoons and they say,
"Hey mom, take me to the grocery store,
I want to get some plates."
- Fundamentally,
I think it's a pretty good idea for a product.
And it's okay.
I mean, you've got the different sections,
but then you've got the girl in the commercial
holding it up to her face after she eats the food.
I mean, this is gonna make a mess.
- All the crumbs are gonna be on the floor.
Just another headache for the parents after they,
they got the jingles stuck in their head,
now they gotta clean up the floor.
- You know, I wonder if that, exactly.
Like oh, this is fun mommy, you know.
- That'd be cool.
- Mommy doesn't wanna have a fun plate.
- [David] Their product was discontinued in 2006, so.
- [Host] Right.
- However, if you want to save ZooPals,
and tell Hefty to bring it back,
there is a Change.org petition.
They're looking for 25,000 signatures.
They already have more than 17,000,
which kind of surprised me.
- [Host] That's insane.
- But yeah, we'll link that
in the description section of this video.
- If you're really passionate about ZooPals.
♪ See Mack Mack if your credit is wack wack ♪
♪ Call Mack Mack if your credit is ruff ruff ♪
(dog barking)
♪ I got short money but I need some wheels ♪
♪ Call Mack Mack, he got easy deals ♪
♪ Get down with a dollar down ♪
♪ I'm riding in a hoopty, I be hatin' ♪
♪ Check Mack Mack, he don't sweat a credit rating ♪
♪ No he don't, don't, don't ♪
♪ Call Mack Mack, call Mack Mack ♪
♪ Mack Mack got bank ♪
- So the musical composition in this ad
isn't really all that bad.
The thing that gets me is the, you know,
Spider-Man 3-esque Toby McGuire dance moves
performed by the dollar store Patton Oswalt main guy.
I think he's Mack.
- Fundamentally this ad has some problems.
First off, it's talking about call Mack Mack.
♪ Call Mack Mack, Call Mack Mack ♪
- Who's Mack?
- Who's Mack there's no phone number.
There's no website.
Okay.
- You just gotta know.
If you have to ask you'll never know.
It's like fight club, you know.
- Also misspellings.
- Yeah.
- Whack whack it's W-H-A-C-K
- Whack whack ZooPals.
- Yeah. It's the more adult oriented ZooPals
would've been whack whack ZooPals.
Yeah?
- The get down for a dollar down really-
- Too good.
♪ Get down with a dollar down ♪
- There was some effort
that went into this musical composition.
I respect that.
- You can tell that all the effort
went into the musical composition,
because there are tons of green screen issues
during the ad.
And it seems like they didn't have any ideas.
They said, "Oh, Mack, just go dance around for two hours
and we'll take some clips
and we'll roll with that."
- They should have got him a trampoline or something.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause he's really his vertical leap
leaves something to be desired.
- I think so.
- Not the worst commercial I've ever seen.
- Definitely not.
♪ 1-877 Kars 4 Kids ♪
♪ K-A-R-S Kars for Kids ♪
♪ 1-877 Kars 4 Kids donate your car today ♪
- Donate online at kars4kids.com.
That's cars with a K.
- Pick up is quick and easy.
- You'll get a vacation voucher and maximum tax deduction.
♪ 1-877 Kars 4 Kids, donate your car today ♪
- So we're getting into like the
actually awful jingles now.
It's not just like quirky commercials.
I mean, that's,
that's rough.
- That's cringey.
- And I think it's a successful ad
because you're never gonna forget
the cars for kids' phone number, so.
- Exactly.
You want to, but you can't.
Things about this commercial.
It's very pink.
They obviously put a lot of effort into the production.
- I'd really love to see one of those
Where Are They Now articles about
the stars of this commercial.
Maybe some of them made it big
in the entertainment industry.
I don't know.
- Or the car donation industry.
- I might have gone in a different
marketing direction with this one.
You know,
if the kids really need these cars so badly,
maybe like a Sarah McLaughlin commercial
where she's, you know,
all the sad music's playing and she's got this kid
who doesn't have a ride home.
So they're stuck at a studio recording this commercial.
- That's a good idea.
- Or a spinoff commercial of this commercial.
- I think that's a good idea.
Get the kid out in the rain,
cars are driving by just getting splashed.
- You know, that scene
in the Walking Dead where Negan takes Darrell captive
and they play the Easy Street song over and over again
and he starts to go crazy?
This, this could also work for that scene.
- This would've worked.
- That could be a good,
like little YouTube video project somebody could do.
Just take this song, put it in there.
- That'd be good meme.
- That's easy to do.
♪ Goodbye in endless spam calls ♪
♪ Hello, to a phone plan ♪
♪ with built in spam blocking ♪
♪ Farewell, unsafe networks ♪
♪ Hello, built-in VPN ♪
♪ Hello, Google Fi phone plan that can ♪
- One of the ads that
sort of spawned this video idea.
- I think it is the ad that spawned this video idea.
- That's been playing on my YouTube unskippable for months.
- (chuckles) They're trying to torture you
into getting this plan.
- Yeah.
Yeah, they're not gonna win.
- It was like they went on Google and they were like
hip guy that could write music songwriter.
And they found this guy and they were like,
we have a great idea.
We want you to write us a jingle
because jingles are easy.
- To me it sounds like the parody
they did of Randy Newman in Family Guy
in season two
and he's just narrating everything the family does.
- It is exactly like that.
♪ She takes a bite ♪
♪ Chews it once, twice, three times, four times ♪
- Yeah. Roll that clip.
That's what it is.
- Yeah.
- Let's get the hell out of here.
- Just okay.
We gotta get all these words in here.
So then we're just gonna sort of freestyle it
on top of terrible music.
♪ Peace out, leaving home ♪
♪ Just to change my phone plan ♪
♪ Hello switching from my sofa ♪
- It's kind of hard to hear what he's actually saying.
- I couldn't understand him.
This guy, Julian Velard
who wrote this commercial, on his website
it says that he's an all around creative force
and entertainer in the worlds of music and comedy.
More like an all around creative farce.
(punchline rim shot and laugh track)
- There you go.
- Boom, roasted
- Check out my version of this commercial.
- All right.
- Let's go
♪ For the plan that can ♪
♪ Hello Google Fi ♪
I just gotta say, I think that's better.
Just saying.
- Well, it's hard to be worse.
♪ We love the subs ♪
♪ Subs are a dollar off ♪
♪ When you bring in a coupon ♪
♪ For things to eat or oil changes ♪
♪ For pony rides or for hair plugs ♪
♪ Any coupon works ♪
♪ Beware of paper cuts ♪
♪ Eat Quiznos Subs ♪
- [Narrator] Quiznos, mmm mm mm mm Toasty.
- Before you leave a comment saying
this is not real.
Let us assure you.
- This is real.
When I heard about this,
I had to spend like 30 minutes
actually confirming that it was real.
And not only is it real,
there are several ads using these characters.
- Quiznos thought this was a good idea.
- [David] Sponge monkeys are fictional creatures
that appear to be a deformed rat.
- But I think the point that they missed was
that this does not make you hungry.
I don't care how young you are.
It's disgusting.
- You kind of compare this to the Subway ad campaign,
very thoughtful focused on one guy's weight loss journey.
He turned out to be a really awful person.
- Yup.
- Now is in a prison cell
- Right where he belongs.
- Quiznos got the last laugh there, I guess.
- I don't know if they did
because the most popular sub chain in America was Subway
when this commercial was recorded,
Quiznos was number two.
Where are they now?
(frolic plays)
I used to go to Quiznos.
- I didn't.
♪ Norman ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Norman ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Norman ♪
♪ Chrysler, Jeep, and Dodge ♪
- Norman Chrysler Jeep Dodge guarantees the lowest price
on any new Chrysler, Jeep or, Dodge.
- Or they'll just give you the vehicle.
♪ Norman ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Norman ♪
♪ Chrysler, Jeep and Dodge ♪
- Someone from the Oklahoma City area
needs to like, let us know
if this is sort of like an inside joke where the people
in the ad have to sing intentionally bad,
because that was awful.
- Yeah.
I think that they're not trying to sound as bad as they are
because one of them is actually pretty good.
And who is it?
- That would be Serge Ibaka
♪ oh, ooh, ooh ♪
- When I heard this commercial, I was like, wait a minute.
One of them singing on key it's Serge Ibaka.
- Well, they had three Oklahoma City Thunder players,
you know, Nick Collison, Russell Westbrook, Serge Ibaka.
The one who sings on key is also
the only one who's won a NBA championship so-
- Correlation?
- Yeah.
- Has Chris Paul won a championship?
- Nope.
- There you go.
We'll get to that later.
In this video.
- I like how they just sort of mixed
in these, you know, professional basketball players
with random folks from a nursing home or at the park.
It was an interesting choice.
I probably would've put more emphasis on the players.
- Yeah. The play...
I mean, pick a lane people, right?
Got the guy there with the dog.
He seems lost.
♪ Ooh, ooh ooh ♪
Like a deer in the headlights.
The lawyer lady who's (whispers).
♪ Norman ♪
She looks terrifying.
- The lawyer?
- Oh no, no the lawyer lady, she says, Norman
do we have to watch it again?
- [David] She's in the library. She's whispering.
- I thought that she was a lawyer.
- [David] I don't think so.
- I just got the impression that she was reading a law book.
- [David] Oh, okay. Yeah.
- She's in the library and she's whispering
that makes a lot more sense.
- Yeah.
- Than (laughs) her being a creepy lawyer.
- Yeah.
I was like, this lady is creepy.
♪ Norman ♪
- The song is catchy though.
When you know that Norman sells Chrysler, Jeep and Dodge,
and he is got the website, Norman Chrysler, Jeep and Dodge.
He's really nailing the branding aspect of it.
♪ East Hills ♪
♪ For back to school ♪
♪ Denim ♪
♪ Hair cut ♪
♪ Backpacks, backpacks, come get your backpacks ♪
♪ Boots and pants and boots and pants ♪
♪ New shoes ♪
♪ Get yourself an outfit ♪
♪ Denim ♪
♪ Boots and pants and boots and pants ♪
♪ Haircut ♪
♪ New shoes ♪
♪ So get yourself back to school with East Hills ♪
♪ Haircut ♪
- Yeah number one worst on our list
is the East Hills Mall commercial.
And I think this headline really, really sums it up.
This shopping center's commercial jingle is a
painful reminder that malls are doomed.
- This is a terrible, terrible,
I hope that this isn't what people hear
when they hear jazz.
It's like beat boxing.
- This is a little better than jazz. I'd say.
The joke's on Carolyn Moss, a business insider though,
because East Hills Mall is still open.
- But Master Cuts is not.
- Master Cuts is no longer there.
The best singer in the ad is no longer working at that shop.
- Yeah. Just to break down some of these performances,
boots and pants guys.
♪ Boots and pants and boots and pants ♪
- Looks kind of like he was in a hostage video.
Like you can't go home until you recorded this ad
otherwise you're stuck in American Eagle.
Woman who said, get yourself an outfit.
Just wasn't even trying
to stay even close to the beat.
♪ Get yourself an outfit ♪
- No, I think best energy goes to
to backpacks, backpacks come get your backpacks.
♪ Backpacks, backpacks, come get your backpack ♪
- But musicianship as
Randy Jackson would say, a little pitchy.
- Is definitely a no for me dawg.
- My favorite person I think is not haircut lady.
♪ Haircut ♪
- Who's your favorite?
- I forget. It was subtle.
It was the a-
- The one who said, come get yourself an outfit?
The one who wasn't on the beat at all? Yeah.
- What? that was your favorite?
- No, that was my least favorite.
♪ Get yourself an outfit ♪
(laughs)
- That was your favorite?
- No, she okay. It wasn't the musicianship.
- Okay.
- It wasn't good.
But she had us look like this is really stupid.
What you're asking us to do.
- We also have some honorable
or maybe dishonorable mentions
to talk about.
- Craft Crumbelievable.
♪ They're Crumbelievable ♪
They're kinda barfy.
- Well, they start with let's get ready to crumble.
- [Announcer] Let's get ready to crumble!
- Which is, you know, let's get ready to rumble
which is a boxing thing.
Crumbling and boxing is what
you don't wanna do that.
- But it does come in a box.
- It does come in a box. That's true.
They also went with the crumble.
Let's get ready to crumble and crumbelievable
just stick it to one.
- Yeah. Take one terrible pun and stick to it.
One that almost made the list.
Goldfish, kind of a folky, creepy song.
♪ The wholesome snack that smiles back ♪
♪ until when you bite their heads off ♪
- A snack that smiles back
until you bite their heads off.
- Yeah.
- It's like, okay.
Is that supposed to be funny?
- It maybe it was, but the delivery was bad.
Not that I should be giving anyone tips
on doing joke delivery, but even I knew that one was bad.
- Two jingles that I hate are both
in the insurance business.
Farmers.
♪ We are farmers bum bum bum bum ♪
- Whenever I'm golfing with my friend, Dan,
at least once a round more likely three times a round
♪ We are golfers, bum bum bum bum ♪
And I'm just like, Jesus,
- Come on, Dan.
- Come on, Dan
And Liberty Mutual.
♪ Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty ♪
- Not very creative with the lyrics here.
And I fricking hate them.
They're so annoying to me.
- Well that's kinda the insurance thing.
You just say your brand name over and over again
be on the commercial,
the Liberty Mutual jingle isn't what bothers me.
It's the Limu Emu
in all the Liberty Mutual unskippable ads I get.
- [Host] Yeah.
- I already have Liberty mutual, so I don't,
I'm not gonna buy it again.
- There are two jingles that I actually kind of like,
because they're good jingles
but the performance was so bad
I just have to mention them.
So I mentioned Chris Paul earlier,
State Farm's jingle was like kind of iconic.
It used to be way over the top in the 70s.
Barry Manalow wrote it. Let's play it.
♪ Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there ♪
- Way over the top.
♪ Like a good neighbor ♪
And so then they changed the beginning of it to
♪ Like a good neighbor ♪
And then they play that
(State Farm theme)
Then they go to Chris Paul and he says,
- Did you hear that? That State Farm theme?
- Then Chris Paul sings it.
♪ Dun dun dun dun dun ♪
- That's what he sings.
- If gets If we know anything about commercials,
he's not winning NBA championship this year
bet against The Suns.
No chance.
- Is there a correlation
between NBA players who can sing on key and success?
- Well, Serge Ibaka won the championship.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Yeah. Nick Collison didn't, Russell Westbrook didn't.
- That's what people should do.
Get in that betting thing.
Go to players, ask them to sing Happy Birthday to ya.
If they can stay in key they're a winner.
- There you go.
- McDonald's
♪ Bada bop baba ♪
Right?
It's okay.
But then they had this really cool commercial with this guy
who's like-
- Brian Cox.
- Mellifluous voice.
- [Announcer] I'm surprised at how attracted I am to it.
- Awesome commercial.
And then they had him sing it at the end,
♪ Bada bop baba ♪
And man.
- It's just his delivery. It's his style.
- He's just, bluh bluh blah.
♪ Bada bop baba ♪
- I like the delivery.
It's nice and casual.
You're just relaxing.
A lot of the time McDonald's commercials are really upbeat
and in your face and these ones are just more,
you know.
- I liked the commercial
- Get a number five and just hang out.
- The Max Scherzer Indeed commercial.
There is a major error.
It's David's joke, in this one.
See if you can hear it.
(organ plays)
This is the kind of thing
that as a musician, absolutely drives me crazy.
It is the simplest melody in the world.
This organ melody, we grew up hearing it.
(organ melody)
Then they play it completely wrong.
(organ plays)
It's the right notes in the wrong order.
- You know, it's pretty common.
- How?
- You putting a nice twist on the classics.
- It's the wrong.
- There some artistic liberties
putting their own little fingerprint on this tune.
- No, it's just wrong.
- [David] Happens all the time.
- It's just wrong and everybody missed it.
- Everybody. Yeah.
I tried to look up
to see if anyone had caught this
and there wasn't a single article about this so.
- That's because all of the musicians that caught this
went and threw up immediately.
- The two people who caught this
are in this room right now.
And I am not one of them. So.
- It's offensive. It's terrible.
- Leave a comment down below which jingles did we miss?
Which was your least favorite?
Comment below.
Leave comments about bad jingles.
We wanna read them.
- We do.
We're gonna read every single comment.
We maybe we'll do a follow up video if you like this one.
- Yeah. If there are enough comments.
- There's a lot of bad commercials out there.
We certainly have not seen them all.
- Have not. I've seen a lot of 'em though.
Click that join button below this video,
It helps us out tremendously.
Join all these fine folks,
their names scrolling on the screen right now.
- Please subscribe.
Thank you for watching.
You were in diapers.
- Hmm 2014?
No.
(laughing)
- He grew up fast.
- Yeah. They spent all their budget
getting Max Scherzer,
who already has a $300 million contract.
I don't know why he's wasting his time
with LinkedIn commercials.
- Well, the idea was
that it was kind of hinting that he might get traded.
He might get a new job.
- Oh okay. Oh, that's that's clever then.
That was okay.
It was before he went to the Mets then.
- I think so. I think that was kind of the-
- That's smart then. There ya go.
Yeah. Okay.
- Indeed. - Egg on my face.