Are you starting Octopath Traveler and want to know which character will give you a tactical
advantage?
What could be more tactically advantageous than choosing a character that isn't an insufferable
cad.
Here is every Octopath Traveler ranked from least to most annoying.
*cheeky music*
Number 8, least annoying, Primrose.
She's the dancer, which means it's kind of hard to start with her, but she's got a really
intense dark backstory, and she's just a goth theatre kid.
All she wants to do is dance.
Literally one of her lines is: "And until I avenge you...
I will dance."
*applause*
Might make it a little bit hard to start,
but she's worth it.
Number 7, it's Olberic!
Olberic is like the high school football star who moved away and then had a leg injury and
then had to move back to his hometown and has become the coach for his own high school
and also has to teach history because they don't just allow you to be the coach at that
public high school.
But that's okay!
He's also really good at swinging a sword, and he's trying to find his purpose again.
And that isn't that annoying.
Number 6, Tressa.
She was the one selling candy bars out of her pencil case in elementary school, and
now she's buying up people's lunches so she can turn a profit on them.
She's the Ed of this, or Edd, or Eddy, I can't remember which one was which.
But she's totally fine, and she's got a very French hat.
Number 5 is Alfyn.
And sometimes his friend calls him Alf which is funny because it makes me think of the
funny TV alien from the show that I've never watched.
Alfyn is the apothecary, sort of doctor character, and he makes cool medicines, which is a nice
treat.
That said, he might be a narc, because he did say this:
"Try to give the pipe a rest, sir."
Alfyn seems pretty cool, but he's probably 30 years old and working for the police.
Number 4, H'aanit!
Thank you for joining me Zuko, we're talking about the animal girl.
H'aanit is the last person on this list that is still pretty cool.
She's got a cool master that goes away gambling, and that's what she's on the hunt for.
But she's also on the hunt for other monsters, and she basically plays like a Pokemon trainer.
She's crunchy as hell, and she speaks in OLDE ENGLISHE, which can get a little bit annoying
every now and again, but for the most part she's just a very dramatic horse girl, and
there's nothing wrong with that.
Do you have anything to say?
*i should get paid more for my appearances*
Number 3, it's Ophilia!
Look, Ophilia is a cleric, which means by definition she's going to have to be a teacher's
pet in some capacity.
She really does suck up to the archbishop, though, and calls him "Your Excellency," even
though he is her adopted father, which is kind of weird.
Clerics are important, alright, but maybe not as the first character, so don't choose
her as the first one, that's all I'm saying.
Number 2, the penultimate annoyer, it's Cyrus.
Cyrus is the cool teacher.
You can talk to him about anything.
He's not like the other boring teachers that's for sure.
I originally started as Cyrus because I wanted to do some of his cool Sherlock Holmes-y mystery
fixin' things.
But then he started talking like this and I had to stop.
And ~FINALLY IT'S NUMBER ONE~ "Next time, I'll have a tale of my own to
tell."
Mmmm, listen to that voice.
I love him to death.
You can tell that Therion really wants to be cool, except he only learned all of his
cool phrases from anime.
That wouldn't be a problem if he went to the anime club, but you know that he's too stuck
up and pretentious to go to the anime club.
Just go to the anime club, Therion!
I know you like Naruto!
Therion is a very useful character later on as a thief, but don't go to him first.
Like, go to H'aanit first and then go to Therion, if you're gonna do anything, or Olberic and
then work your way over.
There's so many better ways to do it.
So there you have it.
All eight of the Octopath Traveler ranked from least to most annoying.
I sincerely apologize if I called your favorite character annoying, even if it is objectively
true.
See ya next time!
Here's Mambo No. 5 with the names replaced with the Octopath Traveler:
A little bit of Primrose in my life.
A little bit of Olberic by my side.
A little bit of Tressa's all I need.
A little bit of Alfyn's what I see.
A little bit of H'aanit in the sun.
A little bit of Ophilia all night long.
A little bit of Cyrus here I am.
A little bit of Therion makes me your man.
*silence in Lou Bega*
Make sure to like and subscribe to Polygon.