It's Cinemassacre's Monster Madness. (Cackling laugh)
JAMES: Okay, Human Centipede.
(Mike laughing quietly in background) JAMES: Hmm. Yeah.
This is a movie I heard about when it came out and I hadn't seen it until a few years afterwards, but
when I first heard of it, I just thought to myself like okay
well, that's just like -- how disgusting can you get? If anybody knows the concept of the film
JAMES: It's about a guy who
MIKE: [laughing] I can't wait to hear you describe this.
JAMES: Yeah, well, it's about
some kind of crazy doctor who stitches together
a bunch of people mouth to anus mouth to anus and
calls them the human centipede, right, and I thought you know when I heard that I was like, okay? Well, that's just like
ingeniously disgusting it's something --
MIKE: I mean honestly it sounds like your kinda -- your kinda movie
'Cuz you're always doing things with shit and poop and stuff, so what's --
JAMES: But not that, this is like a torture kind of like thing, you know?
MIKE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
JAMES: It's funny, that term torture porn, I never really quite understood the porn part of it, it's more torture, but --
MIKE: There's -- there's definitely a sexual aspect to it
I mean, they're all like naked and it's -- the whole thing is very just fucked up. It's a very fucked up movie.
JAMES: Yeah, but I heard the idea and just thought 'Okay. Well that just sounds like
complete shock value' you know. They're just going to just try to shock you
and that's it and then when I saw it
I thought, you know what it was actually done pretty well --
MIKE: It was.
JAMES: -- I thought it was pretty good
MIKE: Yeah, yeah.
JAMES: and I was like oh, no. I can't believe it. I can't believe that this actually turned out good.
I mean for what it is. It's not like -- it's not, you know.
MIKE: I felt the same way about Saw, actually --
JAMES: Which we may or may not have gotten to already.
MIKE: Both of these movies, I felt like I heard about them beforehand and everybody's like,
'Oh, they're so fucked up', and I felt like oh, it's just people getting tortured the whole time
And you know, Human Centipede actually like I found it, enjoyable like I like the story --
JAMES: I wouldn't say enjoyable, but --
MIKE: I mean just enjoyable in turn in terms of I thought the whole thing was just gonna be torture
and it was gonna just be awful, and at least there was a little more to it than that
It's more about the, you know, the psychotic doctor in the movie. I thought it was interesting.
JAMES: The idea is actually very simple
There's three tourists that get a flat tire, and then they have to, you know, stop at this guy's house
And then he, you know, drugs them all and tortures them and surgically joins them and does the whole human centipede thing
so it's very simple the way it is, but, why exactly
Is it good?
MIKE: It's because this is disturbing,
I think, and like you watch a horror movie like it horrified me
Like, the thought of somebody capturing you and doing that to you and it's a horrifying thought for sure.
JAMES: The villain, he has a great look first of all.
He's like trying to be really
scientific and everything, but he has a temper too, so he's just a very
Frightening character.
MIKE: have you seen the second?
JAMES: No, I mean, if you want to get to the second --
I have not seen it, but I know you told me you've seen it.
MIKE: Just briefly about the second, the second one is even more messed up than the first one because at least in the first movie
the guy's a doctor. He's a surgeon, I believe. In the second movie, it's a guy who watched
the first movie and
he's not a doctor and he tries to do all that shit
but he's doing it with like hammers and like
Just the worst tools like using
Screwdrivers and stuff. At least the dude in the first movie was an actual surgeon.
So that was one of the most fucked up movies
I've ever seen, the second one, and I do not recommend it.
JAMES: I refused to watch it
Just because I don't think Human Centipede needed a sequel, like why does everything need a sequel?
Why can't just be a good idea? It was a one-time thing --
MIKE: That's a problem these days in general with horror movies
I've even heard, this is probably just a rumor, but I heard that they're doing a Human Centipede 3 and
from a rumor I heard that --
that the doctor, this is probably not true, but the rumor
I heard was that Brent Spiner was gonna be the doctor which would be -- he always plays like a mad doctor
and I'm like you know
he's like in independence day and stuff.
JAMES: See if this were scripted
I would have done the research, but I think that movies out.
MIKE: Oh is it?
JAMES: It might be, might be. I think I
Remember reading about it being, like, it played
You see, if this was scripted
I would have had -- I would have known, I mean, and if we looked up
We'd know it just like that, but, I remember hearing that rumor too, yeah.
What's good about the movie
Is that it's not as gory as you'd expect. A movie about a guy who
stitches people mouth to anus you'd think you'd be like, okay? That's just really
graphic and gross, but it's actually more disturbing emotionally than it is, like, in your face
You know like the two girls who are stitched together?
They're still friends even though, you know, they're joined together and the way that the doctor
refers to the whole thing as 'it' as it's the human centipede, as if it's like one unit, like he kind of, like
isn't thinking of it anymore as if it's three individual people stitched together
he's kind of considering as one whole thing because it shares the whole digestion system now, and that's really creepy,
that's really fucking gross, and it's like there's nothing Halloween about this movie, like Halloween is fun,
this is Halloween to me, but this movie is just like
Straight-up horror. This is real horror.
It's kind of reminiscent of like all the medical torture --
MIKE: Like, you feel like there's no fun aspect to it, like the Wolfman and
Dracula and Frankenstein and all that those kind of -- and Freddy Krueger, all those kind of like villains that this movie doesn't really have
That sort of appeal to it.
JAMES: Yeah. Like, all the world War II medical torture and things that happened, like it's really --
It's kind of reminiscing on things are just really real and serious.
MIKE: Would you consider the surgeon, the doctor in the movie, is he comparable to something like
Dracula or Freddy Krueger, but a modern-day version of that? Because when people saw Dracula back in the day
They were terrified of that and, you know,
and Leatherface, a character like that,
Think of the things Leatherface did, when that movie came out people were offended by it.
I feel like it's a modern-day....You know...
version of one of those, it's super fucked up, yeah,
but, you know what, people thought that about those other movies that I just mentioned when they came out.
So I don't know,
I don't know if it's comparable or if the line has gone
so far that it's not even like a --
Do you know what I'm trying to say?
JAMES: Yeah, like, when does it become like, you know, horror horror, when does it go from like kind of fun, you know, horror,
and what was once fun wasn't that terrifying. I mean even back then
Dracula, Frankenstein wasn't scary when World War Two happened because that was all in the 30s and then once
the war was happening then everything sort of became a little more, like, fun, movies were more about escaping
the real world and not, you know.
MIKE: But I mean from what I've heard when people saw Dracula in 1931 when it originally came out
it scared the shit out of people.
JAMES: Yeah, yeah, like in Ed Wood when he's saying, like, 'Oh,
I had to sleep with the lights on for like a week', right? That was when people, you know, yeah.
I still like how there's a lot of parts in Human Centipede where there's no
dialogue because the characters are all stitched together and the one who is
in the front is Japanese, and he's speaking Japanese and the doctor's speaking German and then the people in the back,
you know, can't speak because there's all your mouth --
MIKE: Yeah.
JAMES: So it's like there's a lot of, like, they don't understand each other and that was really a great idea.
And you know that Roger Ebert gave this movie no stars? [Mike laughing]
He said it was the only time he gave a
movie no stars because this movie exists in a world where the stars don't shine,
MIKE: Oh, that's a good quote.
JAMES: Roger Ebert.
And have you seen the South park episode The Human Cent-iPad?
MIKE: [laughing] No, I have not, I haven't, no.
JAMES: Oh, it's a great one, it's a --
you know how Apple always sends those,
those updates and then you have to read the agreement,
but they send the agreement like every week like 'Oh, read our our terms
again because we changed something else' well, nobody reads that shit, well in the episode
they put something in there where they're allowed to join you all together into the new cent-iPad. So that's like, that's basically the premise.
MIKE: I want to watch that now.
JAMES: Yeah, it's a good one.
It's a really gross one, but yeah, it's good.
No, anything else about Human Centipede?
MIKE: Uh, it's disgusting, check it out.
(both laughing)
(outro)