the irony that ritz staple snack of my
childhood is sponsoring today's video
about the adult divorcement from my
parents
is not lost on me and i want to preface
this whole thing by clarifying
i absolutely love my family if they ever
need me i will be there in a heartbeat
but you know i have a feeling my dad's
gonna stop talking to me after he
watches this
oh wait he already has so my dad and i
stopped talking in july
and can you guess why kids drum roll
politics of course what else could it be
and then august rolled around and twas
my birthday
i'm a leo so not wishing me a happy
birthday
when you are the literal reason i have a
birth date
that's the biggest betrayal i have ever
known dad but this video
for once is not about my daddy issues
no today i want to talk about what has
gotten me through
this estrangement from my already pretty
distant menage
and that is chosen family society from
the time we're born
feeds us so much unhealthy unrealistic
language
around traditional nuclear family family
is everything
blood above all you should be willing to
forgive any sin
make any sacrifice and hold family as
the most important pinnacle of
commitment in your entire life
eat up sweetie but we don't get any
messages about the people we choose to
surround ourselves with
as we go into adulthood and i am
definitely not taking my chosen family
for granted this year i mean i'm out of
town obviously
and full disclosure it's been very very
hard on my mental health
and my best friends surprised facetimed
me from my house and gave me like a cat
tour
of all of my cats and and for my
birthday they set up a scavenger hunt
and i have never felt more seen i was
like i love puzzles i love gifts this is
both in one
cue ugly crying and then just on a daily
basis
they are so encouraging and supportive
and reflective
and thoughtful girl that sounds so
stressful i'm sorry your boundary was
totally valid baby girl oh i totally
trust you to make the right decision for
yourself
yay we'd love to see it you are gorgeous
i can't wait to celebrate you yes my
chosen family
encourages me to grow they celebrate my
success they uplift and empower me and
they make me feel loved and welcomed
and it's been hard you know not talking
to my dad for half of this year which is
saying a lot because
we don't talk often as it is you know
when my friends say
that they call their parent every day or
every week that feels
so foreign to me and i always wonder
like am i a bad daughter
but we just have never been a close
family
and i always thought there was something
wrong with me or wrong with us
for not being close and look i do want
to acknowledge like we have
pretty significant trauma behind us
having lost my sister that
undeniably fractured us but that makes
the lack of
intimacy all the more painful
you would think an event like death
would bring us
together but 13 years later and i
i honestly don't think it has
and wanting that wanting that closeness
it just brings me
so much pain and as my friend melissa
says
you you shouldn't go shopping for milk
at the hardware store
so i'm learning how to love my family
from a distance
and to keep people who make me feel
loved
close i'm anna akana sorry for almost
crying
was taught emotion isn't cool um i'm
anna akana and thank you to ritz for
sponsoring today's video staple snack
baby
ritz believes that where there is love
there is a family
and i hope that wherever you're
celebrating the holidays you feel
welcomed
loved and a true sense of belonging and
also full
you know from all the delicious ritz
you're gonna be snacking on
join us in helping create a more
welcoming world
at tasteofwelcome.com happy holidays