MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT WAS ACTUALLY RECORDED LAST WEEK IN
THIS VERY CHAIR OVER HERE.
YOU KNOW HIM AS REMINGTON STEELE, THOMAS CROWN AND, OF
COURSE, JAMES BOND, PLEASE WELCOME PIERCE BROSNAN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> I WAS GETTING READY TO COME OUT!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I LIKE THAT.
NOT EVERYBODY BLOWS A KISS TO THE AUDIENCE.
>> WHY NOT?
>> Stephen: WHY NOT?
THEY DESERVE A LITTLE SUGAR.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
I NEVER MET YOU BEFORE I MET YOU BACKSTAGE A SECOND AGO.
>> THIS IS THE FIRST TIME.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A DEAD RINGER FOR PIERCE BROSNAN.
>> YOU LOOK LIKE STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
LISTEN, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU AS JAMES BOND AMONG MANY OTHER
THINGS.
YOU'RE ALWAYS THOMAS CROWN TO ME.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: SUCH AN AMAZING MOVIE.
IT'S A GREAT PERFORMANCE.
>> IT WAS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WELL, YEAH -- NO, IT HANGS HIGH THERE ON THE WALL IN THE MOVIES
THAT I'VE MADE.
I LOVE MAKING THE MOVIE, I LOVE NEW YORK CITY, I PAINT, SO IT
HAPPENED AT A TIME IN MY LIFE WHICH --
>> Stephen: YOU PAINT?
I DO.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
>> I STARTED AS A COMMERCIAL ARTIST WAY BACK WHEN.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
IN LONDON?
>> IN LONDON, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT SORT OF THINGS WERE YOU DOING?
>> I WAS DOING FURNITURE REPRODUCTION.
I WAS STRAWING STRAIGHT LINES, MAKING CUPS OF TEA AND WATERING
THE SPIDER PLANTS.
>> Stephen: WOW.
LIKE ANDY WARHOL, HE STARTED AS A COMMERCIAL ARTIST.
>> HE STARTED DOING SHOES.
>> Stephen: AND IF HE HAD BEEN TALL AND HANDSOME, HE WOULD HAVE
HAD YOUR CAREER.
>> WELL, HORSES FOR COURSES, I GUESS.
>> Stephen: YES.
THAT'S THE DESTINY OF LIFE.
BUT, NO, THOMAS CROWN WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOVIE TO DO.
>> Stephen: IT'S ON CONSTANTLY ON TNT.
I WATCH IT EVERY TIME.
THEY SUCK ME IN EVERY TIME.
>> THANKS GOD NOR RENEE RUSSO.
WITHOUT HER, I WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD IN THE WATER.
YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD WOMAN BESIDE YOU.
>> Stephen: DO YOU MISS THE BOND THING AT ALL?
THE TUXEDOS, THE GADGETS AND ALL THAT STUFF.
>> IS THIS GOOD LORD, NO.
>> Stephen: NO?
IT WAS FANTASTIC.
IT WAS BRILLIANT WHEN IT LASTED AND ALLOWED ME TO HAVE MY OWN
COMPANY AND MAKE THOMAS CROWN, SO IT WAS A GREAT SEGUE, AND
ONCE YOU PLAY THAT ROLE, IT'S A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY.
YOU HOPE FOR THE BEST AND HOPE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU GREW UP IN A SMALL TOWN IN
NORTHERN IRELAND?
>> SOUTHERN IRELAND.
I GREW UP ON THE BANKS OF THE RIVER BOWEN COUNTY MEAD 60 MILES
OUTSIDE OF DUBLIN.
>> Stephen: HOW DOES A BOY WHO GROWS UP IN A SMALL TOWN IN THE
REPUBLIC OF IRELAND, HOW DOES HE BECOME A BRITISH ICON?
HOW DO YOU -- WHERE'S YOUR ACCENT IS WHERE I'M ASKING?
>> OH, THE ACCENT GOT MANGLED WAY BACK THERE TRYING TO FIT IN,
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I LEFT IRELAND IN 1964 AS A COUNTRY BOY AND,
YOU KNOW, TRYING TO FIT INTO A DIFFERENT COMMUNITY, SOCIETY IN
SOUTH LONDON.
I JUST -- IT WAS, I SUPPOSE, ONE OF MY BEST PERFORMANCES, ENDING
UP BEING FROM SOUTH IRELAND AND TALKING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING, MATE?
>> Stephen: I DO.
( APPLAUSE ) >> SO YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THE
COMMUNITY, PART OF THE GANG.
AND I REALIZED I WASN'T, AND I WAS GOOD AT A BIT OF ART.
I LEFT SCHOOL AT 15 WITH A CARDBOARD FOLDER OF DRAWINGS AND
GOT A JOB IN THIS TINY STUDIO AND, LIKE I SAY, DRAWING TRYING
TO LINES AND WATERING SPIDER PLANTS AND MAKING CUPS OF TEA.
ONE DAY I WAS HANGING MY COAT UP AND TALKING TO A GUY ABOUT
THEATER AND MOVIES AND HE SAID YOU SHOULD COME ALONG TO THE
ARTS LAB, IT'S CALLED THE THEATER CLUB.
I WENT IN AT AGE 18, THE HEIGHT OF THE '60s, IT WAS A WORLD
THAT WAS EXOTIC AND WONDERFUL TO ME AND I BECAME AN ACTOR.
>> Stephen: THE NEW MOVIE CALLED "THE FOREIGNER," AND WE
HAVE A CLIP OF YOU AND JACKIE CHAN.
I DIDN'T COLLECT THAT.
AN UNEXPECTED SURPRISE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: T CAN YOU TELL US
WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE SCENE HERE?
>> THIS IS JACKIE AND MYSELF.
HE'S -- YOU KNOW, HE'S A CHINAMAN LIVING IN LONDON.
HE'S A HUMBLE MAN, HIS DAUGHTER GETS BLOWN UP IN AN EXPLOSION
AND HE WANTS TO FILL OUT WHO KILLED HIS DAUGHTER AND I PLAY
THE IRAN FIRST MINISTER LIAM HENNESSY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE AN IRISH ACCENT IN THIS ONE.
>> I PLAY A MAN FROM NORTHERN IRELAND, YES.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT CONFUSED ME.
( LAUGHTER ) JIM?
>> SIT.
I'M WEARING A BOMB.
ANYONE COMES IN, I TOUCH IT, AND WE DIE.
GIVE ME THE NAMES.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY REALLY ARE.
I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO FIND OUT WHO'S RESPONSIBLE --
>> YOU'RE LYING!
WHO KILLED MY DAUGHTER?!
>> I'M SORRY!
I TRULY DON'T KNOW YET!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I REALLY BELIEVE
YOU'RE IRAN.
>> THANK YOU.
I HOPE THEY DO, TOO.
>> Stephen: NOW, ONE OF THE MOVIES I MOST ADMIRE OF YOURS IS
THE MATADOR, AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THE MATADOR IS WHEN YOU TELL A LITTLE KID TO
GET AWAY FROM YOU.
JIM?
>> DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TELL YOU NEVER TO TALK TO STRANGERS?
>> SHE'S OVER THERE AND SHE SAYS THAT I SHOULD TALK TO YOU.
>> SHE DID?
YES.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
I THINK SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE.
>> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT AND I'M ONLY INTERESTED IN
YOUR MOTHER IF SHE LOST 20 POUNDS AND 30 YEARS SO I
WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU GOT THE (BLEEP) AWAY FROM ME.
>> WHATEVER.
, GOODBYE, SKA DOODLE.
>> SEE IA WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA.
>> SMELL YA, SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YA.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LOVELY SCENE AND MOVIE.
THE REASON I LOVE IT SO MUCH IS THAT YOUNG MAN GOT HOOKED ON
SHOW BUSINESS AND HE IS NOW ONE OF MY PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS,
JONAH MEYERSON.
GET OUT HERE, JONAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, PIERCE, IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO JONAH BEFORE WE GO?
>> JONAH, SERIOUSLY, GET THE (BLEEP) OUT OF HERE.
GET THE (BLEEP) OUT OF HERE.
GO ON.
THEY TOLD ME TO SAY THIS!
I'D REALLY LIKE IT IF YOU JUST GET THE -- AWAY FROM ME.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JONAH FOR YOUR CONTINUED
PIERCE BROSNAN, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!