Mz. Grace.
If elected to Senate,
would you support the President's plan
to impose universal daycare?
I support a public option,
but not the elimination of private plans.
And are you at all concerned
about the growing Men's Rights Activist movement?
The MRA?
I think we can all agree
they're more a frat house
than a movement.
Ha ha ha, maybe so.
But why should voters trust you,
a first time politician,
over incumbent Helen Carrie?
For the very reason
that I haven't already been bought.
And as CEO of Moon Cup Media,
I've proven to Texans
I can lead them to prosperity.
Mz. Grace, polls show
that for you to win,
you still need the support
of social conservatives.
How do you respond
to their concerns
that you're divorced with no kids?
Please.
Let's stay on policy.
They would argue that
never balancing work and family
means you lack
the multitasking ability
to run this state.
That's enough questions
for today.
I'm so sick
of all this family shit.
Excuse me.
You know, just go ahead
and make me an appointment
at that Steinem place.
Sky.
You can't be serious.
The Firewomen's meet and greet's
in thirty.
The election's three months out.
I can't risk losing.
And I can't risk losing my sister
to a choose-a-groom.
Bex.
It's just business.
It's unethical and unsafe.
Don't be such a scrotum about this.
I'm being a scrotum?
Yes.
I know life has been hard
since Catherine got engaged, but-
Fuck Catherine.
This is about winning.
And once he's served his purpose,
he's out.
Fine. I'll set it up.
Fifty years ago,
men chose violence over diplomacy.
But in the ashes of World War III,
women rose up to restore peace.
And thus began the Ovalution.
Where women went to work
and men were domesticated.
That's why we here
at Steinem's Grooming School for Husbands
want to celebrate those brave women
who saved our lives
by saving you 20% off first dates.
We here at Steinem's take pride
in having a 99% pairing rate
and for grooming the most educated,
compassionate future mates.
May I have a seat?
Consent is always my first priority.
I love how much
funnier you are than me.
I have a Ph.D. in Herstory.
I know it's hard to believe,
but I actually am a male doctor.
Each man takes a
testosterone reducing pill
to decrease aggression
and unwanted fertility.
And for the 1%
that aren't chosen by age 40,
fear not.
They're well-trained in administration,
nursing and teaching
to make a seamless transition
back into society.
So visit us here
at Steinem's Grooming School today.
Because it's our world now.
P U.
Next time, use Ball Bath.
Dunk daily.
I feel fresh.
...say that the national crime rate
is still at 0.5%.
And the global cooling project
is nearly complete
with seawater temperatures
back to 1980 levels.
But I didn't do it alone.
Democracy is a team.
Mz. Grace.
Please, call me Skyler.
Of course. Sorry.
I hate being late.
My schedule's just
so crazy right now.
I'm so sorry.
Why do you keep saying that?
I'm the one who's late.
I'm sorry.
Err, I'm bad at that.
Sorry-
Ah ah!
So, uh, for your first date,
you like the Basic VR Experience
or the Deluxe Retro Charm?
Mm, Retro Charm.
I am sick of screens.
For clients such as yourself,
we provide the utmost privacy.
Your match today is Adam.
Found outside of our
alumni offspring network,
which is great for genetic variance,
should you choose to procreate.
Oh, and he scored extremely high
on his Empathy Evals.
Well that makes one of us.
I was joking.
Here we are.
Enjoy.
Skyler.
Hi. I'm Adam.
So, what are you drinking?
I asked for whatever you're having.
Did you see the new Spider Woman?
Yes.
So much fun.
I hated it. Too formulaic.
You're right.
The ending was too predictable.
Where do you stand politically?
Wherever you tell me to stand.
Okay, you know what?
This isn't working for me.
Damnit I hate when Bex is right.
Did I say something wrong?
No offense.
But you're practically a fucking robot.
The press would eat both of us alive.
Skyler, wait.
It was really nice to meet you.
Would you like to continue with Adam?
Only if you turn off the microphones.
Of course.
Damn, that was dramatic.
What was that move?
See if I prefer the bad boy?
More like,
if you want me to speak freely,
I'd rather not be recorded.
I didn't even know we were.
They're always listening.
A buddy of mine
spent an entire month at the semen farm
just for saying he wanted
to wear a different colored uniform.
Shit.
I didn't realize-
Your own privilege?
Sorry. I'm not really good
at this whole date thing.
Well then why would
Edward pair you with me?
I don't know. Algorithms?
Look, if you want to move on,
I get it.
You're one of the most powerful women
in the world.
You could probably have anybody you want.
Besides, I'm kind of used to rejection.
OK. Let's go again.
But this time drop the training.
OK.
A journalist asks you
what your politics are.
What do you say?
I'd say that
men had our chance,
and we fucked it up.
The job of the present
is to correct the past.
Good.
But what if one of them asks you,
"Hey, Adam,
do men still deserve the right to vote?"
As long as they vote for my wife.
Clever.
See, I could be by your side.
I could be your first gentleman.
Not so fast.
Your answers are smart.
But if I'm going to take you home,
I need to know
how you really feel about the world.
Come on. The mics are off.
Fine.
But first you have to tell me
who Bex is
and what she was right about.
Shejus.
They really do teach you guys
how to listen here, huh?
Bex is my sister.
She thinks it's immoral to marry men,
that they're more along the lines
of servants than partners
and that they can never be trusted.
Harsh.
Do you agree with that?
I mean, kind of?
Who's to say you're not going to try to
sabotage me somewhere down the road
for a better offer?
Who's to say that you're not going to
send me back here
when you're done with me?
What I would be more concerned about
is that this whole political thing is a lie,
and I'm really a serial killer
with an Adam fetish.
Not gonne lie.
That's oddly specific.
But you're lucky.
To have somebody like Bex
looking out for you.
Our mom died when we were young,
so we learned pretty quickly
that we had to have each other's backs.
You know, I'm practically an orphan, too.
My mom didn't want to have a boy,
so she gave me up when I was a baby.
I spent my entire life in the system.
But...
Cheers to you for getting out.
Would you like to continue?
Yes.
Sorry, I didn't mean to-
I liked it.
Do you want to dance?
Why are you leading?
Sorry.
I must be drunker than I thought.
We don't get much alcohol here.
You know, all because
we're in my fake home
doesn't mean, uh-
We have to have fake sex?
Right.
I just want you to know if we do,
the pills that they have me on mean,
I can't cum.
God.
I can switch those.
Ow!
Sorry.
I failed my dance classes.
But I did ace foot massage.
May I?
I could get used to this.
And I think it's a good time
I'm not going to be one of those dudes
who just sits at home all day
watching Real House Husbands
and drinking Skinny Guy Martinis.
I hate to admit it,
but I've watched all four seasons
of The Real Househubbies of Vulva Valley.
Ross is such a dick.
I love him!
You know,
this is more of a business deal, but-
I really like you.
Sorry.
It's OK.
I like you too.
I want to kiss you.
Then do it.
Take off
whatever that thing is you're wearing.
Have you ever been with a woman?
Only my intimate relations therapist.
What is that? Like a...
a sex teacher?
Yeah.
What about you?
Have you ever been with a man?
Only like,
prostitutes.
When Catherine left, I...
I got really lonely.
Hey, it's okay.
You don't have to explain yourself to me.
I think you're perfect.
No, I'm selfish.
I'm a workaholic.
It's why Catherine
didn't want to have kids with me.
I don't know why I just told you that.
I'm glad you did.
Police caught the Men's Rights Activist
right after he rushed
the President's podium.
I have a message to all my brothers.
Have hope--
Sorry, I'll turn that off.
Ready?
By the power vested in me,
by the state of Texas-
Wait.
Just-
You sure you want to do this?
Voters are going to eat him up.
And he's so desperate,
he'll do whatever I say.
By the power vested in me,
by the state of Texas,
I now pronounce you
wife and husband.
Thank you, Edward.
Ready to go home, Mr. Grace?