so we are talking all about dads and how they can be excellent support people during labor
and birth so we're giving five great tips for dads during labor and delivery and if you're
wondering why am I talking about this clearly not a dad it's because over the last 15 years
as a birth doula I have worked with dads, over 300 in fact, and I've seen the good, the bad,
the excellent and I want to share those tips with you. I also focused my work over the last four
years in preparing and educating new dads and partners to be so I've created an online course
that is specifically designed to prepare dads and partners for their role called supporting her if
you want to find out more information I'll put a link down below so I am a true believer that
dads play a vital role in labor and delivery and with just a little bit of practice preparation and
education they can go from being a partner to an excellent partner so that's why we're gonna dive
into the first tip now I'm glad you're here with me let's go so I call this first tip the man in
the mirror and it might be the hardest of our tips so I'm gonna start there cuz if you could
master this and you're gonna go a long way in being an excellent partner so what it means is
really being a demonstration a role model a mirror to your partner in labor I'm going through labor
there's a lot of strange things that happens you know let's start off with the breathing
you know an effective method of breathing for pain management for coping for staying calm and relaxed
is that deep breath in and that deep breath out and sometimes it looks a little strange
and feels a little strange so if does you can do the same kind of breathing if you can model that
breathing for your partner it will make it so much easier for her to get the right breathing
done so if you see her breathing really shallow breathing really fast-paced and you just go
and carry on with that long slow in out-breath it will help her visually see the breath that
she can be doing to have more control over her pain control over the situation and calm same
thing with body language if she's all hunched up like this and clenched she's going to feel more
pain so instead of saying something like drop your shoulders or relax if you just make the
same body language and then just kind of shake it out she can see you kind of shaking it out
and she can follow that nonverbal communication is really powerful in labour because too much
talking too much conversation kind of messes with our mind when we're trying to give birth
so you as a partner can be a good model think of it as a mirror a lot of times people want to
change positions in labor and so maybe a lunge Anil standing and leaning a lot easier if they
see their partner do it so dads you can lean up against the wall and show her position maybe you
learned about in childbirth class and she can see that and follow it copy you it's so much easier
for her to be led with ideas than for her to think about herself what she should be doing so man the
mirror might be the hardest one of these five tips but if you can master this it's gonna be golden
now I'm gonna say this probably once twice maybe three times but practicing these tips practicing
this one with your partner before labor starts is going to make it so much more effective when
labor begins so main and mirror first tip second tip is to be her number one cheerleader of course
right that is such an important valuable source of strength when you look over you're doing something
hard and someone tells you you were doing an excellent job that you are strong that you can
do it and believe it or not it can be a little bit hard to remember positive things to say and
to stop saying negative things in labor and I know this because I've seen it in action many
times I have seen dads partners grandmas even nurses and and doctors say things like you've
been at this a long time or you look really tired these are not positives this is not what
the cheerleader says the cheerleader says you are strong you've got this so the hack that I like to
teach is that if you can think of yourself as an actual cheerleader like you're on the sidelines
of a marathon and your partner is running by or you're on the sidelines of a soccer match and
she's playing you are definitely not gonna see her run by and say you look really tired or is
this hard or are you in pain you never asked someone on a marathon if they're in pain you
just assume that they're in pain so what do you say you've got this you've already done so much
you're getting there halfway there you've got this the finish line is it's coming up so being
her cheerleader isn't necessarily as easy as it sounds but it's so critical it's so important
and just know that even if she has pain medication like an epidural and it just she doesn't look as
active or that she's really working as hard as she did prior to the epidural she really is so being a
cheerleader means the entire time it's also such a great tip for a cesarean births a surgery is
hard and so being there and saying you're doing a great job even if it looks more passive is still
so comforting and really makes you an excellent partner so number one cheerleader my third tip is
where you can be creative and have fun and it's still important and it can be a great way to be
supportive in labor and delivery and that is to be the DJ so music is powerful in labor and it
can be something that changes the tone changes the mood gives you energy keeps you calm muffles out
noises of the hospital it has so many benefits of and it could be fun too so I suggest to make the
most out of this tip is to meet with your partner beforehand and have fun setting up playlists for
birth I've seen people set up a common relaxing playlist a active playlist maybe one that they
would use to work out that they want to use during pushing I've seen a favorites you know
just those songs that just make her happy and things that she always likes to listen to it
never gets tired of so set up some playlists use your favorite streaming apps your Spotify Apple
music whatever works best for you and get some good equipment has every good DJ does you can get
an inexpensive Bluetooth speaker to make playing the music in your home wire laboring to play it
when you are in your berthing location whether that's a hospital or a birth center and have
the continuity of having music as that coping mechanism as that way to relax it's set up now
partners this really falls on you because she has a lot going on she's not gonna remember hey let
me get my music set up so one thing I want you to do is just try so when you get to the hospital you
get situated wherever you're giving birth get the music out get the speaker out and go ahead and put
on a playlist that you think she'll like she can always say no she can always say play something
else or I'm tired of the song but what I've seen so many times is dad's forget they forget about
music they're waiting for their partner to say hey will you turn on the music and that just doesn't
happen and so all that work and all that benefit of music doesn't really get realized so be the
DJ and just wait for her to ask for the music to be changed or request a song and it is going to
be powerful and help you be an excellent partner number three is be the DJ number four is all about
hydration be the waterboy hydration is so key for contractions for labor dehydration can actually
lead to funky labor patterns or labor stopping altogether so her hydration should really be your
responsibility and maybe that sounds like too much but I think it's pretty reasonable and it's doable
but it takes a little bit of strategy in order to keep someone hydrated who's in labor so here
we go have a bottle with a straw so make sure it is super easy for her to drink whatever position
she's in whether she's lying down standing up sitting click easy sips with a straw you
can vary the type of liquids that you're giving her you don't need to just do whatever you can
do a electrolyte drink of power in garrard a hydro light something like that and you can do something
like coconut water as well so make sure that you vary the type of hydration you're doing instead
of saying hey do you want to sip us something or are you thirsty just take that bottle with the
cup with the straw put it right next to her mouth and she can just sip it so kind of think of like
what you would see on the NBA on the sidelines at the NBA you know you see the trainer's come
out with those squirt bottles and they just hold it up so that they can squirt it into the players
mouths they're probably not saying hey do you want some water they're just like here take some water
that's your role that is really the way to keep hydrated so you really want to see her taking a
couple sips between maybe every few contractions so the way that you know whether or not you're
staying hydrated are she's staying hydrated that is is it's just taking several bathroom trips so
if bathroom trips are regular then you're doing a good job also hydrate yourself so make sure you're
drinking as well and taking care of yourself is very important so hydration for the both both
of you makes you a great partner so number four is being the waterboy last but certainly not least is
being the snack vendor so being the one to pack the snacks give the snacks also eat the snacks
with your partner it is all important snacking is key so make sure that you sit down together
get a shopping list talk about what snacks would be really great in labor did you know that this is
something that a lot of people don't understand about labor is that you should be eating during
labor that there was good research that came out that said that eating during labor does
help labor progress helps full fuel you along now your hospital might have a policy that restricts
eating during a certain point in labor possibly with an epidural or any kind of drugs possibly
at a certain time of labor so definitely check your hospital or wherever you're giving birth
there a policy as well but when you are laboring at home and any time before those policies come
into effect if they exist eating is encouraged now again just like the water don't say hey are
you hungry you're just gonna unwrap something and hand it to her unwrap a cheese stick hand
it to her open up a packet of almond butter hand it over have a couple options she can choose from
them it's so much more effective to get someone to eat if they don't have to make the thought of
what do I want to eat if they see something they can just pick it and have just a couple bites
that's fine even if she has half of a cheese stick that's still something and that's still
you providing a great snack and helping her in her labor and being an excellent partner so make
sure that you are having snacks as well I have seen my share of dads who feel queasy after the
baby's born because they haven't eaten for hours upon hours so force yourself to eat some snacks
along the way you know things that aren't smelly that have protein that have the carbs things that
are going to lessen sustain you now this snack tip and the water tip are both really great tips for
after the baby comes home to because hydration is still going to be important especially if
she's breastfeeding snacks also very important especially she's breastfeeding so she sits down to
feed the baby and has maybe a little table next to her or something like that somewhere close by that
you can put a bottle with a straw and some snacks that is super key and you will be a great printer
those are five labor and delivery tips for deaths now if you would like to see all of those tips and
five extra ones put together and an easy to use ebook that you can actually download to your phone
and have it handy when you are at the hospital or birth center check out the links below because it
is included in the supporting her course if you use our special link and that link also gives
you 20% off too so thanks for hanging out with me hope you learned something I'd love to know in the
comments below as always if you found this video interesting and helpful subscribe to the channel
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like button share it with a friend all those things have a great day guys talk to you later