Even if you find a woman who's got it all she's amazing in every single way..
Big deal? You're amazing in every single way! You're just always saying to yourself that the
girl that you're with, that you're being really shy with or being very needy with,
is better than you and you can't lose her, when it has to be flipped!
I'm really excited today because today we have Tripp Kramer from Trip Advice.
It's an honor to have you on Tripp. Thanks man thanks for having me long time coming
glad we can make it work do you tell guys to own their shyness like to actually say they're shy
and to be like you know cool with being shy because i found that that works really well
like if a guy just says look i'm i'm really shy or i'm really nervous but i just wanted to meet you
that makes the women melt that's interesting yeah right it's like you say that to a girl no one's
that you're not gonna get that harsh rejection you know so that's good i've never told a guy
to do that i would just be a little wary of it only because i don't want them to get it would
be something i would like if they were to do that i'd want them to do like a a few times just to get
over it but not too much i wouldn't want them to get used to it you know that's a good way of just
owning it a little bit and also you never know i mean that could easily get you a number you know
i mean the thing is what's funny is it's almost like if you say that you're not shy so that's
actually kind of cool i'm just thinking about it like how just how it would go down it's like
you might say that but the girl's gonna be like in their head like he's not shy he came up to
me it's like the definition of courage because courage is not the absence of fear courage is
feeling fear but acting despite the fear so when you say hey i'm shy or i'm feeling nervous a
little bit nervous but i had to come meet you it's basically saying i'm courageous without actually
saying i'm courageous true which is exactly what women are looking for yeah it's a very
attractive quality of course they want to feel safe and a courageous man makes them feel safe
that's a bigger compliment than anything that you're going to say about her is that i stepped
through this fear just to come meet you it communicates so many different things and
the reason why it works is because it's vulnerable it's real every other guy uh most guys think yeah
like you're saying that courage and confidence are completely absent of any kind of emotionality
at all the problem is is like when you teach a student that and i've seen this and i saw this in
myself when i learned this is like you go up and you're like i'm [ __ ] scared right now but i had
to come and meet you like look at you right and then you get this positive reaction then guys are
going and they're see they're using it over and over again when they're not actually feeling it
which is kind of what you're alluding to tripp um as a line but the only reason it works is because
you're authentically feeling that so definitely i agree with you not to stick to that too much but
when you're in interactions or on dates again guys think they have to be the most grounded confident
alpha guy who's so tapped into his sexuality even even when you're escalating you can still own
that you're i'm [ __ ] nervous but i wanna honestly i wanna this is more a little more
advanced but i want to [ __ ] your brains out your you really turn me on but there's all this nervous
energy's over it right like that that that works because that's what you're feeling in the moment
and because she's going to trust you more she sees this is an honest guy i can feel that he's nervous
and he's not afraid to actually admit that because they know what the [ __ ] is going on inside
like they can they can sense everything that we're feeling and when you're incongruent with your
communication you're feeling you're trying there's all this nervous energy but you're like uh i'm
so cool they don't trust you and they they lose attraction for you so i find that a lot of the
stuff i've seen from the past is like wow that's some crazy daytime landing it's cancun for you um
that's cancun for ya we we get this this and i had certainly had this in the beginning where i have
to feel a certain way or else there's no way i'm gonna get her to like me or get her attracted or
whatever when i really discovered that accepting myself moment to moment and owning it constantly
no matter what was really what uh really changed everything for me like amounts i think another
thing too kind of working off of that is the idea of of putting women on a pedestal you know is is
a lot of this shyness comes from to what i said earlier the comparison of yourself to other people
so you see a pretty girl and you immediately assign her a value and whatever you assign her
you're basically saying that her value is higher than yours that's that's what you're
thinking that's your mindset this girl's better than me because she's or more valuable than me
because she's pretty and this is something guys are just gonna have to learn as they go but i
can just give you the shortcut by letting you know like it's really when you date a lot of women when
you sleep with women you start to see that beauty is like not all it's it's cut out to be you know
i mean just because they're pretty okay so a lot of other guys want them
big deal there's a million other beautiful women out there that's not a way to
put them on a pedestal there's so much i mean you should never do it even if you find a woman who's
got it all she's amazing in every single way the big deal you're amazing in every single way you're
just always saying to yourself that the girl that you're with that you're being really shy with or
being very needy with is better than you and you can't lose her when it has to be flipped and so
a lot of guys don't see themselves as valuable or a catch and that's one of the things that
you have to be working on simultaneously through this process i think if you work on that and then
wait to approach it's still going to be hard to approach but i think that you have to be working
on your self-confidence in the way that you see yourself some of that's going to be built through
getting you know get doing approaches and getting numbers and getting laid like you will start to
see like oh wow you know yeah like you have a little proof there but that's not strong enough
because you're always going to be seeking that out and looking for that so a lot of it has to come
in with here right so knowing to yourself like truly knowing not like faking it till you make it
that you're an awesome guy and so if you're a guy who's not working on his path you're not
doing anything with your career you don't have any hobbies you don't have a lot of good friends like
your life kind of sucks you're screwed like it's it's your self-esteem is just gonna be
down the hatch you gotta have things going on in your life and doing things that you enjoy
and it doesn't matter what those things are or other things that you're good at or goals that
you're working on that will help build self-esteem and that is scientifically proven to do so
also like having goals doing things in your life having a good friend group around you being social
all that stuff builds your self-esteem and when you start to do that and you start to really truly
live an awesome life that keeps you busy in a good way and you know that you're like hey like
i love my life like you wake up every day or most days at least excited then when you meet a woman
you're gonna be start thinking the opposite like is this woman good enough for me because my life's
already great why would i have a woman in there that's not awesome in all the ways so you start
to interview her versus the other way where you think that you're on an interview okay there's
the pretty girl i gotta do all the things right and oppress her and use all the things so she sees
that i'm awesome and then she'll accept me that's the wrong way of thinking you gotta reverse that
or you gotta flip that so you're on the other end of things and that's how dating should become and
approaching should come it all has to be on that level so basically you can't just work on this
part of your life and learn a few pickup lines and fake routines to mask all of the you know
lack of a cool life you gotta actually work on this part of your life and go approach
women but also work on the other parts of your life as well everything yeah it's gonna be uh
an uphill battle you know it's like you know you you can do it you can learn all the stuff
and you can do get the approaches down and get laid and all that stuff and get girlfriends
but it's gonna like suck because you're gonna eventually find a girl that you really like
and you're going to be so needy it's going to be insane and then you're going to lose her and then
you're going to go and it's going to be cyclical you're going to just go through that time and
time again because this stuff works and you can kind of fake it to make it build a little bit
of confidence and get results but in a long-term play your life's going to be hell because you're
going to always be seeking the validation from the approach from the lay from the girlfriend
and that's what's going to make you feel good all the time and it's a really terrible way to live
terrible way to live so trip love the content this was really great stuff where can guys learn
more about you or connect with you to work with you yeah well if you're listening to this on the
podcast you can check out my podcast called how to talk to girls which is on itunes and stitcher and
soundcloud and everywhere that podcasts are hosted so you can check that out if you want to hear some
of more of my content if you're just kind of ready to dive in and you want to learn
more of my material from me you can always check out coaching go to coachedbytrip.com
or if you're just like i just want to learn more but not necessarily do coaching yet just go to
and everything is there links to my podcast my youtube channel
and anything that you need so there you go i will put all the links down below in the description
thanks so much tripp it's been an honor it was a pleasure really enjoyed having you.