Especially when you’re dealing with toxic people or narcissists,
I'm gonna tell you in this video and
you're definitely gonna want to stay till the end,
because I'm saving the best until the end.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, also a narcissist negotiation expert and
in these videos, and on this channel,
I give you tips, tricks, resources and
the best things to do, and not to do,
so you can finally feel like you are on the offensive,
instead of the defensive, for a change.
If that sounds good to you,
make sure to subscribe to this channel and
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because I upload brand new videos every single day.
So, you are dealing with maybe a toxic person in your life,
maybe it's not even a formal negotiation,
maybe you're just trying to have a conversation with these people in your life,
maybe it's a family member, or maybe it's a boss,
maybe it's somebody in your life,
maybe it’s somebody you're trying to divorce, or who knows,
but you're just trying to deal with this person and
you're trying to figure out what you should say,
or maybe what you should not say and
so, I'm going to tell you in this video,
what you should definitely not say.
I'm saving the best until the end,
so you're going to want to make sure you stay till the end.
So, I've dealt with these people in a lot of different settings,
I've helped you win against them in many different settings and
I know exactly how to get what you want from them,
I have a very deep understanding of the psyche of these people,
I've dealt with them in a very high-stakes negotiations and
I'm telling you there's a myth, there's a myth out there,
that you can't get what you want from these people,
you definitely can get what you want from them,
they have you all believing you can't get what you want from them,
but you can get what you want from them,
I'm telling you that you can.
They are actually the most scared little people on the planet,
they want you to think they're like,
super strong and all-powerful,
that's what they've conditioned you to believe,
but it's not true, all right?
Don't go in there and start like, putting them down and
saying like, “You're full of crap and you're a narcissist and
everyone else thinks that you're full of crap too and
everyone else knows how awful you are and
everyone else knows like that,
we all are ganging up against you”,
all of those things,
because that is definitely not going to get you anywhere,
especially when you're trying to get somewhere with these people.
I know you can’t stand them and
I just was having this conversation with somebody in my family,
this person was like, super frustrated with this person,
somebody that they're dealing with and
I'm like, I know you're frustrated with them,
but, going in there like gangbusters and saying,
“Hey, nobody else likes you and everybody else thinks that you're awful”,
and all of that, ain't gonna motivate them,
it’s just makes them angrier, they're motivated by adulation.
So, at the very least, just go in and just say,
“Hey, can we get on the same page here?
Can we figure out a way to work together?”
If you go in there with put-downs,
you're not going anywhere.
So, definitely avoid those types of phrases,
as much as you want to, it ain't getting you anywhere.
So, that's number one.
I have a whole video on “Words that destroy narcissists”,
I would definitely check that out if I were you.
All right, that's number one.
I would stay away from, “I'm giving this an hour”,
that's the kind of thing that they do and
I understand that that's like what you want to do,
but you want to be in this to win this and
if you're in this to win this,
that's not going to help you win this, okay?
You got to play the long game, you got to play the smarter game and
if you're going to be playing the longer game, and the smarter game,
that's not going to help you do that.
Going in there saying, “I'm giving this an hour” and
that sort of thing,
that's just going to turn them off and
that's just a phrase that you definitely want to avoid.
That's another similar type of thing
that's just a very narcissistic type of a thing
that's very similar to the kind of thing they say and,
again, I would just avoid that kind of a conversation.
That's, again, something like they would say and
again, that's just the kind of thing that they absolutely hate.
That's just a phrase that will drive a narcissist absolutely crazy,
they don't want to feel insignificant,
of all the things that narcissists hate the most,
“Whatever” is just one of the things that they just disdain and
it's really a thing that all people disdain;
in negotiations, all people want to feel seen, heard and
know that they matter in all conversations,
all people want to feel seen, heard to know that they matter.
That's why I called my book “Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R”,
because that's what all people want and
in any negotiation,
people want to walk away feeling they got some kind of value and
if people don't get some kind of value, the deal won't stick.
So, even if you end up getting some kind of deal,
at the end of the day, it probably won't end up sticking,
or people are going to end up feeling resentful and
the deal usually ends up falling apart.
So, I would definitely avoid those phrases in negotiation.
If you are getting ready to negotiate,
make sure you grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
If you want free tips and tricks, all day long, everyday,
make sure you subscribe to this channel,
hit that notification bell.
I'm here every day giving away free advice.
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Join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Narcissists only win when you give up,
so never give in and never give up.
Wherever you are is the jumping off point,
so you can start wherever you are,
I'm here for you, Namaste!
Today's the day that you start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.