Hi, and welcome to this Q&A with me Lionel Messi, and my new best friend Gareth Bale.
Hi, yeah we bonded over our mutual hate of Cristiano Ronaldo.
Jessie Gue-aero: Bale, if you were good as messi and Ronaldo what will u do?
If I was as good as Messi and Ronaldo I’d quit football and start cashing in on those big ad deals
Shoppee?
No, is the Welsh version.
Go shop, sheep sheep sheep sheep sheep! Buy online line line line line! They’re so fine fine fine fine fine! Shopsheep is sublime.
Shop sheep? I can’t see that taking off...
Then you haven’t been to Wales, bud
Adam Creepy to the Max: Bale, who do you like most from liverpool?
Paul O'Grady! I really miss Lily Savage bud, hair like a sheep.
Mine is Mo Salah. Who Barcelona will no doubt buy next summer when Anotinne Griezmann has completely flopped.
Oh, Liverpool football team? In that case, Harry Wilson
Tinie Timphl: Messi prank call ronaldo and tell him you want to join Juventus.
Hello? GOAT speaking.
Hello Cristiano, it’s Lionel
Impossible, I blocked his number!
I’m using Gareth’s phone.
Gareth Bale? Also impossible, I blocked his number too!
Yes. I had to get a new phone. Zinedine kept crank-calling me to tell me how shit I am and that he wants me to leave.
Anyway, what do you rentboys want?
Let’s do that lunch you mentioned, I’ve got a big announcement.
Okay! One condition…
Yes?
No Gareth...
Thanks for inviting me to lunch.
No problem!
Ola guys, can I get you anything?
Yes, my friend would like a booster seat, please.
Very funny, Cristiano. Almost as funny as your Shopee advert.
Thanks! I’ll probably win an Oscar for Best Comedy Actor knowing me. Anyway, what is your big announcement?
Well... You’re gay?
No, I’m not gay! What made you think I’m gay?
Those purple sparkly suits you wear every year for the Ballon d’Or...
I’m signing for Juve…
What? Well shag a donkey…
May I recommend the sheep, instead, sir?
Gareth?! I’m out of here! See you at the Ballon d’Or!
Okay Cristiano!
I wasn’t talking to you, Gareth!
The Watson 11: This is a question for both of you, who would you rather have on your team, Ronaldo or Coutinhio?
Coutinho!
I think I'd rather retire...
Again!
Hanbeef Masud: Bale what do u hate more Barça or Zidane?
Scrabble Fela: How do you look like with lord bendtner hair.
Tragic!
When Gamen met Jayden: Messi switch hair with Bale.
They’ll be asking us to do make-up tutorials next.
Luca Stretchmarks Messi do you like playing with Greizman?
Yes, there’s nothing I love more than playing with Antoine.
Phrasing, bud...
His ball control is second to none.
Phrasing…
When we do two-on-two in training, he’s a real giver, not a taker.
Phrasing…
Shut up, Gareth!
Story of my life…
And stop stealing jokes from other cartoons...
Oh my god, they killed Messi!
Willy Hardon: Minecraft or Fortnite?
Which is the one with sheep?
Minecraft.
That one then….
Delp I need somebody: Messi how does it feel being the most overrated player of all time?
Messi fanboys, on my command, unleash hell on Delp!
To be fair bud, I’ve achieved more with Wales than you have with Argentina…
What?
Gabriel Reyes: Bale i will pay 100.000.000 decimal point? aniway, allow of money for zidane doll.
Sorry bud, I wanna keep mine… Since I started pracitising voodoo I also ended up with an accidental Hellraiser doll. Love that movie…
Cock Gam1ng Do the crossbar Challenge.
What are you doing?
That was a cross baaaar...
He meant this…
The Saliva Monkey 486 : Messi do you think Msn will happen again.
Elion Williams: Bale would you kill Zidane if given the chance.
Yes!
I mean, no. Unless I could get away with it.
Paula Abdulla: Messi can you make Bale world class again (Probably couldn’t )
Yes I can!
No!
What?
What was I thinking?
What?
You’ll never be world-class at Barca now!
Why?
I gave you the number 11 shirt
Andrei Barbecue: For messi: do the retire from the national team challenge.
Hilda Hilda Ogden: Gareth what part of west england are ya from?
I’m from Wales bud. It is it’s own country. It’s like Scotland or France or Spain.
Or Mordor.
Or Mordor yes… wait a minute.
XxPoker_FacexX - despite the kisses, she aint gonna love nobody: Bale, which super power would you want to have?
I already have a superpower, I can turn invisible, watch.
You'll have to CGI the bit where I vanish bud.
Just stay at Real, you’ll be invisible the rest of your career.
What?
Glenn Mphahahahahahaho: Who’s the fastest between you 2?
On your marks, get set, go!
It’s in the bag!
For Wales!
Sorry Garuth!
Slow but steady wins the…
Not sorry, Lionel!
Brendan Rogerson: Who looks better with Eyezils eyes?
How are you supposed to see with these things!?
At least they'll help us spot armed gang sneaking up behind us.
Sou viks vapour rub in a Naskar: A golf battle between messi and bale
You know I can see why you enjoy this so much now Gareth.
I told you bud, it’s very therapeutic.
Junior, call the police! We’re under attack!
Robi.andrade the giant: Messi do you actually wear Origi PJs?
Of course I don’t! Don’t be ridiculous!
I wear Tiger Woods PJs.
S.brennanrodgers0kay9 - who looks the best with zlatans nose
I don’t think anyone can look best with this conk bud.
I like it?
Good answer!
Oh, thank god…
But the right answer was Zlatan. Zlatan looks best with Zlatan’s nose. Zlatan always looks best.