when I first stepped foot out of my
mother's car and onto the freshly cut
grass 'as of university I had a very
utopian idea of the reality of
institution of higher learning I chuckle
at the fact that although never audibly
stated I somehow believed that the
visible transition of a tassel from the
right to left quadrant of a high school
graduation cap was somehow represent the
internal transition of the from the
ignorance of childhood into the
enlightenment of post-secondary
education the people would carry
messenger bags instead of backpacks
right with quills instead of pencils and
go to the coffee shop instead of the
library all would understand the true
nuances of society and the quad whatever
that is would serve as a place for
intellectual inquiry and common ground
clearly my undying love for the sitcom a
different world did not serve me well in
this regard I was in for a rude
awakening in the spring semester of my
freshman year there was an event
happening on campus one evening hosted
by a notably conservative political
group that had schedules a particularly
controversial guest speaker to be the
headliner when some minority LEDs
liberal student groups on campus caught
word of this they decided they would
attend and as a member of the student
government as well as a genuinely
curious mind I decided I would go as
well the room was still yet chaotic all
at the same time one side of the room
staff with outraged liberal affiliates
the other stacked with self-identified
conservative right-wing students you
could cut the tension with a knife and
although I don't wish to share my own
political views with you this evening I
will say that I stayed I
because I now had questions I wondered
how in an atmosphere of academia and
reason such differing ideals could be
produced I stayed and spoke with members
of different sides of the room asking
them why they felt so strongly in their
positions
I stayed to find where the birthplace of
this animosity resided where the hatred
began and I was shocked to be greeted
with the voices that I expected to
inevitably dislike instead I was met
with other enquiring Minds desperate to
know the truth and find the breaking
point in a flawed system I have a
confession to make the topic for this
talk this evening is a bit misleading
for two reasons the title civil
disagreement a dying art suggests that
civil disagreement was once a thriving
living entity within our society but I
can in no way deny that ears have been
cut off over minor disputes food has
been thrown names have been called but I
would instead like to argue that civil
disagreement as a discipline as a school
of thought has always been an ideal so
how do we do this we must first
acknowledge that this talk is misleading
for a second reason - you may be
thinking to yourself yes now it can
finally survive conversations at
Thanksgiving with my controversial uncle
or even now I can avoid controversy and
confrontation altogether but I regret to
inform you that this purpose of this
talk is not to act as an
anti-inflammatory supplement but instead
I believe that in order to achieve this
ideal there is much to be confronted our
pride our intentions our priorities our
regard for human dignity so where do we
begin
Immanuel Kant famously said
act in such a way that you treat
humanity whether in your own person or
in the person of another never merely as
a means to an end but always an end
preventing incivility and conflict is a
lot like preventing catastrophe like a
fire for instance stop drop and roll
beginning with our first step stop
assuming it is imperative that we
acknowledge that the person standing
before me has their own individual story
and has not been placed on this earth to
serve as an extra in mind the
foundational ingredient of civil
disagreement is not merely having an
open mind or even listening instead it's
acknowledging that this person is their
own range or scope of experiences that
has brought them to this conversation
but it's difficult it's hard to think to
myself the driver of this vehicle is
indeed a human being that just cut me
off in the middle of traffic sometimes I
like to tell myself that their wife must
be in the passenger seat going into
labor which would obviously inhibit
their social graces inability to operate
heavy machinery I say this in a comedic
way but it's true it's our inclination
to justify another person's existence
merely by the role they play in
supporting ours in conversations of
about human development this is often
referred to as the adolescent ego like
in the fourth grade when you saw your
teacher at Safeway on a weekend and said
Wow who knew she liked Doritos or had a
life outside of teaching me commas it's
important for us to recognize that
before this conversation can be
effective and meaningful an important
idea must be defined human dignity the
inherent unmerited value of every human
person that cannot be dissolved under
any circumstances
this theme is often the cornerstone of
Catholic social thought derived from the
idea that every human person has been
stamped with God's own likeness or imago
Dei or image of God but this idea does
not transcend or does transcend rather
faith tradition or denominational
identity in conversations within the
political arena human dignity is often
referred to as a constitutional right
and lays the foundation for the United
Nations Universal Declaration of Human
Rights so why is this relevant for our
conversation disagreement is a necessary
art to master within the human
experience diversity of opinion is
crucial to our survival if you were to
ask a farmer they would easily inform
you that growing one crop alone leaves a
community imbalanced and malnourished
but this is where we have a great
opportunity it is important for us to
recognize that this moment we must
acknowledge step two drop your defenses
in this moment we have to acknowledge
that this person sitting to the left or
to my right is not the opponent of or
villain in my story either in this
moment
removing the demonization of those to my
left or to my right does not only
eliminate the competitive nature of our
conversations but the power structures
that attempt to erect themselves between
us this disarms power dynamics in
between child and parent employee and
employer and student and educator if
you've ever stood at a picket line in
the wake of two opposing demonstrations
you may recognize that the most
meaningful or influential signs are not
argumentative or even research-based
they're human
leading us to our third and final step
just roll with it
here it is our responsibility as civil
communicators to clarify our intentions
am i communicating or competing am i
speaking to educate or to win
am i speaking from a place of fear or
trust the journey is the destination
sharing space and dialogue is the art
worth mastering whether or not you agree
on the subject matter is secondary this
is not about them this is about us here
we must acknowledge that this is an
inside job stop assuming drop your
defenses and just roll with it only then
can disagreement be addressed and
disaster be a devil it be avoided when
we view people as people as anxious to
be heard as we it won't be nearly as
catastrophic when we find we disagree
thank you
[Applause]