There's one thing I'm going to be focusing on this year,
and it has nothing to do with New Year's resolutions.
I think they're kind of overrated
and I say that as somebody who has done them pretty much every year of my entire life.
In many ways,
it's actually going to be kind of the opposite -
and that is to lower the pressure that I put on myself.
I know this might sound like a bit of a strange goal to give myself, but hear me out.
As a general rule, I put way too much pressure on myself
And that is a very efficient way
of taking the fun out of literally anything.
And by the way, I see this everywhere, so I think this is a whole generation,
a whole generation that is struggling with this.
We don't have hobbies anymore. Everything is a side hustle,
and we're all looking to try and boost and increase productivity,
and the grind. And it just feels like, there's fierce competition no matter what you do
Now I can always speak for myself here but that pressure that I feel lives entirely in my head .
And it comes down to
A very unhealthy internal dialog that I have going on
Because no matter how well I am doing with my habits and goals and motivation, all of that
if I don't feel like I'm bring productive or creative enough
the things that are going on in here start to get toxic and negative and then everything falls apart.
I wasn't always this way.
It was some point during middle school that I realized that, if I applied more pressure on myself then I can achieve better results.
So this started a pattern that intensified through high school and through the rest of my life up to this point.
So I got messy too , because this was during a period of time where i started to develop a sense of self worth
and identity based off of performing
You know, covering up some of these insecurities that i had
Sometimes, things keep getting swept under the rug until it just become impossible to ignore
And i think that's kind of what's been going on in my life,
where i just keep putting more and more pressure on myself,
hoping to always get better and better results.
And it doesn't take it genius to realize that this is not going to last forever.
I will admit there were a couple of times this year where I was like dude, I can not keep this going.
It felt like I was hitting a wall
honestly, and i think the numbers are kind of messing with me on a psychological level
it's just impossible for me to wrap my mind around the amount of people that subscribed to this channel.
I mean i have a couple of pretty sick party tricks, who am i kidding
Joking aside though, I have a lot of fear around failure,
to be honest with you. And it's no different than my high school days,
where I made every single test a life-or-death situation, you know.
It was like I always had to succeed.
It's weird to realize that
once again, this is all happening in my head.
Which, for me says, I have power over this, there's something I can do about this situation.
And it's been interesting to observe this year, how, as a coping mechanism,
it's almost like my body shuts down, when I apply too much pressure
and I totally avoid my responsibilities,
all of my drive and motivation evaporate.
I'm self-sabotaging.
Kids are proof to me that you do not need pressure to be creative and curious and adventurous.
In fact, I would argue that it's too much pressure that is what kills a lot of these things.
Who would've known that I peaked when I was 6 years old?
So. We're at the beginning of a new year, a new decade. I have a plan,
so hear me out. A lot has happened for all of us in the last year, each and every one of us is
the main character in our own plotline, and all of the highs and lows that come with it.
So it can be difficult to kind of see things clearly, right? You're in the drama.
I was trying really hard to understand where I went wrong,
and so I reverse-engineered the process.
I saw very clearly this last year that setting, you know, creating
goals for yourself is an amazing tool.
It's a great way to give yourself a sense of direction
but, it's just one piece of the bigger puzzle.
It doesn't fix everything for you.
Before you can hit the goals that you've set for yourself,
you have to have the right habits, and,
the little things that you do every day
they compound, and they take you really far.
Look, you can't cook a great meal with subpar ingredients.
And I think that encapsulates this concept.
And that's what I spent all this last year focusing on
to great effect, honestly, I saw the results that these little changes can have.
But before you can build these habits, you have to have the right environment,
or you don't have the stability that's necessary
to keep these things going long-term.
It's all going to crumble at some point.
And this is something that I think I was at least vaguely aware of
but not nearly mindful enough to make it a top priority.
And there's a step that comes even before creating the right environment for yourself
And I think it boils down to the relationship that you have with yourself