so today I am hopping right on that that
trendy trendy train to trend town I am
hopping on the trend of doing one of
those assumptions videos or as I like to
call them youtubers getting super
defensive about their personality for 10
minutes straight so by far the most
common assumption I got is that I'm bi
or I'm at least a little bit gay I give
myself like a Kinsey 1.5 you know I've
watched a good amount of West being born
I have gone to the female side of tinder
and swiped around for a little bit in
high school I definitely doubted my
sexuality more I had like I don't know
whether it was a crush or a close
friendship or romantic interest or
sexual interest in one of my female
friends who I was close with I hope you
watching this I have touched girls boobs
at a party like consensually but I've
not kissed a girl so there's where I
stand a good mummy's girl pure if you
know what I mean
waiting till marriage and stuff weird
way to phrase it and also have you
watched any of my videos you baked in
the bathroom during class no I actually
just pee in the vape room you think
you're better than everyone only better
than people who don't know what you're
to use roasted I thought of that like
three days ago and I was so excited to
say it you got an annoying voice this
question work maybe it's up to you
a lot of people assume that I'm adopted
not that I know of you've gotten an
ulcer because of stress luckily I have
not but I did like lose my period for an
entire year just because I was really
stressed out so that was fun you take
off your shoes before going into the
house yes why does anybody do it
differently you are at the exact same
online and in person and I'm flattered
by this I tried to be like really close
to the same person because you know I
feel like spend so much [ __ ] time
with myself I have to film this I'm
gonna spend like 20 hours editing this
I'm gonna like watch it online and read
your guys's comments about it so I
really just I just want it to be me cuz
I wouldn't want to spend that much time
with a fake version of myself you know
but obviously at the same time like this
is a very edited presentation of me I'm
talking to a [ __ ] camera right now
I'm gonna spend like 20 hours editing
out every stupid thing that I say and
trying to make myself a little bit
funnier I think in this industry there's
a place in time for being really honest
with your feelings like that video that
I made were eyes on my period
repairing clothes like I was just
spitballin like whatever the [ __ ] was on
my mind it was coming out there because
I was not in a mood to pretend to do
anything else
but there were other times like my
outfit 101 video I made that while me
and David were in a pretty bad fight and
I was actually really sad that day but I
was like you know what I'm gonna get up
and do my job and be entertaining to
these people and talk about fashion and
that's what I'm gonna put online cuz you
guys don't want to [ __ ] hear me crying
about my relationship related to that I
got assumptions on both sides of the
spectrum on one hand saying I act
self-deprecating and relatable but in
real life I have my [ __ ] together and on
the other end that I pretend like I'm
really happy and confident when in real
life I am super depressed and I know
Ness life is messy and I think both of
those are true like at times I feel so
confident and I feel like my life is
[ __ ] great and other times I cry
myself to sleep because I don't have a
clue what's [ __ ] going on in my life
you stop consistently going to the gym
after your New Year's vid this is a
little bit true but pun intended I did
learn the importance of exercise so I've
been doing little butt exercises in my
room and I don't mean anal you hate kids
honestly the maternal gene just skipped
right over my fetus right maternal
instinct that's supposed to make you
turn into a pile of mush every time you
look at a baby's greasy face just isn't
in me I don't like them they're like
little weird alien objects they're
always sticky hot take but babies are
closer to pets than they are to humans
you know they don't have like real
thoughts that they can express they're
not interesting they're just cute and
then they like [ __ ] on you if I ever do
end up having kids that they watch this
like I'm so sorry son but you work all
your dick is a baby so you snort
cinnamon toast crunch up your nostrils
oh Jesus I actually got some of them out
there you have a lot of controversial
opinions that you don't want to post
online and yes that is true people are
probably gonna heatedly disagree with
this in the comments but I think there's
a huge problem right now with internet
culture being PC to an excess people are
offended on behalf of other people there
is like a witch hunt for taking people's
words out of context taking humor and
sarcasm out of context and people just
being so
mad at other people for having opinions
that are different from them I assume
you watch a ton of porn and come by
eating Cheetos with 30 fingers
yup you got me
you're an anal queen no I've tried a
buff long and that's it and it felt like
a a weird cold [ __ ] sitting inside me
other than that have not done the blood
things you open your textbook slash
laptop to post aesthetic stories about
being productive I wish I wish I wasn't
on my laptop like 24/7 this one I was so
surprised how many times I got it which
is your parents are rich
and you were a trust fund baby my
parents were both first generation
immigrants and they were both the first
in our families to go to college so
trust me there there is no trust fund
going on there but when I was around 16
they told me that they weren't sure
they'd be able to pay for all of my
college and like I'm so lucky that they
had even started a college fund for me
you know and that I had assumed that
they would pay for most of college but
my education is so important to me so
from that point on I [ __ ] grinded I
was working like three to four
minimum-wage jobs probably working like
30 to 40 hours a week I'd work double
shifts on the weekends I'd work after
school as much as I could part of the
reason why I'm graduating so much
earlier than I need to I'm graduating in
two and a half years rather than four
years is to also save some of that
tuition money related to that I got so
many that were like you have a sugar
daddy and I do not okay I make my own
kool-aid you know what freshman year in
college I did kind of think about it
just because it's actually very common
in LA and a lot of my friends have like
signed up for a service and really it's
not that bad but I couldn't do it it
creeps me the [ __ ] out I hate playing
dumb and nice and submissive to guys
that I hate you know I only play
submissive to guys and I like if you
know what I'm saying well you had a glow
up in college because you seemed too
nice to have been pretty in high school
I think I had a bit of a 2-stage glow up
my first one was like very early high
school so by the end of high school I
felt pretty confident in myself then I
came to college gained the freshman 15
gloated down and then glowed back off to
where I am now I was so ugly in middle
school though but honestly I don't
regret it because I wasn't really
conscious of it at the time like nobody
called me like ugly or weird to my face
so I was just having
great time being my little self you
always eat a lot of raw cookie dough /
cake batter absolutely if you're not
eating the raw cookie dough then you
aren't living life honey
you have no friends no in all caps I
mean that's not that's not entirely
wrong I think my problem in part is that
I genuinely really like spending time
alone I love just listening to music and
jamming out watching movies watching TV
shows like editing and working on photos
and stuff like that so I don't feel a
whole lot of pressure to hang out with
people just for the sake of hanging out
with them I don't know dude making
friends in like a big College and a big
city is a really hard more super [ __ ]
smart but really frustrated by school
and education in general I am incredibly
[ __ ] excited to get out of college
let's just say that are you aware of
your semi Lisp when I first started
watching you way back I thought it was
Loki and wing but now it just makes you
badly I literally didn't think that I
had a lisp but that's David and he's
like you kind of do and yeah
I'm very self-conscious of it you've had
an eating disorder I haven't had an
eating disorder but freshman year in
college I think I had a pretty unhealthy
relationship with food but it was just
the first time I was exposed to a buffet
of glorious food that I could eat
whenever I wanted and it was a little
hard to manage that so I started
counting calories thinking way too hard
about my food options running on a
treadmill and counting how many calories
I was burning I don't think it was
necessarily disordered because I still
maintained a pretty healthy weight it
didn't really consume my life but I just
it was taking up space in my brain that
I didn't need and that was the most
unhappy I've ever been with my body I
also want to talk about this because I
haven't said this on my channel before
but my older sister who I haven't /
sister I never talked about her but
she's had an eating disorder for I think
coming up on eight years now and that
really affected my uh yeah that was a
lot of me growing up having really
stressful family dinners where my mom
and my sister we're dealing at each
other and my sister was saying that my
mom was trying to make her fat when she
was about to [ __ ] die because she was
so skinny and then running up to my room
as soon as dinner was done and like
listening to music to drown it out and
[ __ ] which is I don't know depressing
now my sister is back in a full-time
eating disorder facility for the second
time I never really talked about it in
high school but I think people knew and
my friends would joke like Oh Ashley you
eat so much but you
are still pretty skinny you must be
bulimic and I think they were joking but
it really hurt because I knew what an
eating disorder was and how it affected
people that's a lot easier now than I've
been in college and honestly I have not
been a great sister to her but I feel
like I lost the sister that I used to
have because for eight years
all she's thought about is food and
being skinny and it's such [ __ ] and
I realize it's so [ __ ] ironic and
that my job now is like Instagram and
fashion YouTube and I never want to be
part of an industry that tells you guys
that you're not skinny enough or you're
not good enough or that food should
control your life if you have an eating
disorder or you're struggling with your
body image please get help sooner than
later because it doesn't just affect you
it affects your family too don't know
how I come back from that one but we're
gonna try to make this video funny again
David doesn't present a compatible
personality physically to you you don't
look good together due to his style and
you settled because you want a boyfriend
so badly which is clear and your other
older videos but you're cute together
now I guess first of all dude what the
hell is a physical personality I have
thought the comments on my other videos
that say that David is not a good match
because he has horrible style or like I
should dump him because of that and like
dude that is not an important part of
what I actually care about in a partner
you know really all I care is that David
respects that fashion is an interest of
mine he understands how excited I get
about like fabrics and outfits and
silhouettes so that's really all that
matters to me I got a couple other ones
that were like you're really clingy
you're really dependent on your
boyfriend you're always with him these
ones did kind of hurt just because I've
spent so long working on myself and it's
taking me so long to really be
comfortable being single and I'm so
proud that I'm finally at that point you
know I was dating around I was looking
for love I made some self-deprecating
jokes about being single but at the end
of the day I'm so chill being single I
had a really great time over this summer
when I was single now having a great
time with David at the same time I know
a lot of what you guys love about me is
that I'm very independent and I do
things on my own I always want to be
like my own kick-ass independent woman
but at the same time I don't think that
should be antithetical to being in love
and being in a relationship you have a
Pinterest board about your future
wedding with David but you haven't shown
him yet that's not true first of all I
hate Pinterest I don't understand how to
use it
second of all I think the wedding
industry is so overblown in the United
States like okay yes I love fashion I
love
interior design I love event planning
that would be super cool at the same
time I'm not gonna drop like 30 40 K on
a wedding I think that's absurd and that
should not be an expectation for anyone
I'd want like a nice little wedding okay
now it sounds like I have it all planned
out
this is just I don't have a Pinterest
board this is just in my head I'd want a
nice little wedding buy like a vintage
dress from a thrift store and then just
[ __ ] get married you were the girl who
has a best friend in middle school but
as soon as he started high school she
became way more popular than you and
proceeded till you Loki bully you for
the rest of high school who hurt you
you've owned a webkinz doll which yes oh
yes I have but Neopets was hands-down
the better platformer loves farm animals
this is about to be the most Maryland
[ __ ] I've ever said but I actually grew
up ever since third grade I volunteered
on the weekends and a nature conservancy
where they had goats and chickens and we
would take the goats out of their pen
put them on leashes
and walk them around like dogs and they
just like munch on leaves and [ __ ] the
problem with walking goats though is
that they are very stubborn and also
very heavy so once you get them out and
like munching on the leaves and you try
to get them to go back into the pen like
they will not move even if you pull on
the leash so when I was younger I tried
to learn how to herd them and I'd like
run towards them and I like yellow
thumbs and the goats would just look
back and stare at me like who the [ __ ]
is this crazy [ __ ] you're a bowl of
cereal inside a human shell you're
conceited and you think you have the
best fashion sense okay this one's fair
cuz my [ __ ] username is Best Dressed
but that's my username because I was
voted best-dressed in high school not
cuz I actually think I'm like the
best-dressed human out there
I do think right now I rely a little bit
too heavily on like brandy melville and
Urban Outfitters trends it's like the
base of my style is there but there's
like mmm there's like there's a little
bit more than I need to find when you
turn the lights off downstairs you - up
the stairs so the monsters won't catch
you this is so true you're a liberal
feminist with no research into politics
I totally admit like stuff with foreign
affairs detailed economic policies I
really do not have the knowledge base to
fully understand the consequences and
causes and effects of all of these
situations but I think it's totally okay
to say hey I'm an expert about that to
be open to other people's opinions and
it's so much better than being
completely ignorant of the situation and
still insisting that you know what's
right you know so I'm definitely not the
most educated
most political issues but I do care so
strongly about women's issues because I
like understand on a daily basis what we
go through how sex is stigmatized how it
feels walking down a street how it feels
to be invalidated in your career and
that's also something that our little
YouTube community all has in common
like 98% of us or something or all
ladies I feel like I'm qualified to talk
about it and I'm passionate about it
which is why I like that's the main
thing that I focus on politically the
last thing that I wanted to address that
so many of you guys asked me about is
you say you're broke but you're
constantly buying clothes I'm just
confused so at this point in recording
this video I had been talking to myself
for like three and a half hours straight
which is too long for any human to talk
to themselves
I was um so I thought I would just
rerecord this part basically up until
around like six months ago I was
genuinely broke which is why I made so
many jokes about it I was living in a
two-bedroom apartment with six girls all
of my clothing was drifted I never ate
out and suddenly like it's all changed
quite quickly and I'm so glad to say
that I have YouTube as like a full-time
job and I'm not I'm not [ __ ] broke
anymore which is amazing so in the past
couple of months I really have made an
effort
I don't joke that I'm broke anymore if
everybody decision what they spend their
money on if you guys have noticed I
really do not prioritize eating out or
eating fancy food I still eat Cinnamon
Toast Crunch for like half of my meals I
don't go on vacations I don't buy like
luxury products or any [ __ ] like that
but clothing and fashion is like what I
love so of course we're gonna be
spending some more of my money on that
it's a way I get to express myself and
at the end of the day it is part of my
job to to have a sense of style that I
can show off to other people so I hope
that makes sense to you guys I don't
have sugar daddies my parents are not
giving me their trust fund money it's
just that money that I earn and how I
choose to spend it so
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