- Do you think,
it is too much, to jump into counseling with your partner,
if you have only been dating for a couple of months?
- Three things that you have to do, before marriage:
"Live together", sex,
and therapy,
I truly believe that, and I truly believe that there
is a stigma around counseling, like something has to be
broken, when a lot of times it is maintenance,
and really I think these millennials have it going on,
there are finding out right of the bat,
if they are compatible or not,
and if they are not,
they get to get out and move on with their lives.
- Look I think it is cool (applauds) if you, you know,
want to go to counseling for what ever,
I don't see anything wrong with that. I am not that guy,
(women laughs)
- I never thought anything was wrong with me,
which is probably what is wrong with me (women laughs).
- Would there ever be a reason,
why you would go to counseling?
- [Steve] Yeah, if I was serious with somebody,
and you know, that is what she wanted, yeah I would go.
- You brought up a bomb point,
that not a lot of men are getting the kind of training,
that they used to get, and not a lot of men are growing up
with other men, so they do not learn about communication,
and about chivalry, and about how to show up
in a really healthy, emotional relationship,
and so counseling may be for them,
the first time they are getting these lessons.
- You know, I agree with that,
because I think that is a problem today,
because there are so many young men, that are not taught,
the manhood ropes, it is not that they are bad guys,
it is just that no body ever told them. They think..
- And that is why,
if you want to be a great cook, you have to enlist the help
of an expert. If you want to be great at relationships,
and know how to make true intimate bonds,
you have to seek the help of experts - [Steve] Amen at that.
- [Kim] I don't think this is...
(Audience applauds)
- [Steve] Let me ask you a question?
Have you ever gone onto couples therapy,
with someone you were dating?
- I was about to say, I don't think this is solely for men,
I mean I am a lot to deal with,
so I'm excited, truly, I'm excited to have somebody come in,
to give me extra tools, that me and my husband
- [Steve] Let me ask you a question,
because you said this before,
what makes you a lot?
- I am from Texas, and I am loud, and opinionated, and...
- Yeah but why is what a bad thing?
- You know it not like I'm an easy breezy type of chick,
to date, I am just not you know.
- You know who really is?
- Listen I love that you guys are making my husband think,
that I could actually be somewhat sane.
- Yeah Jordan you are lucky, you are lucky to have Kim.
- But honestly me and my husband right after we got married,
we hit a rocky path,
so we decided to go to a marriage counseling,
and it was the best thing we ever did for our relationship
(audience applauds)
and the only thing we would have changed about it,
is that we would have started sooner,
and that we even would have started before we got married,
maybe not a couple of months in,
but for sure before we got married.
- [Steve] Okay Shan, are you a lot to deal with?
Are you in a relationship?
- I am not, I am not a lot, no.
But I love a lot, I live for a lot!
I like to be beside and next to a lot of Jason,
but no I am not a lot. No.
- Are you a lot?
- I don't think I am a lot,
but both me and my husband are type A people,
we are strong minded, and we went to premarital counseling,
at the advice of our church, but we are glad we did it,
because it really helped us to get a nice checkup,
we know what our strengths are,
and I think one of our weaknesses is,
that we are both so bull headed.
And we had to learn, how to communicate with each other,
in a way that doesn't offend the other person,
so you have to learn to compromise.
- You know what, I am a lot.
- But even though you haven't gone to therapy,
you have spoken to so many incredible people, you yourself,
you well read, you have traveled,
you are a man of the people,
so anyone who does not want to go to counseling,
the internet is an incredible resource,
or talking to the person beside you,
is an incredible resource, we just need a place to vent,
and talk about how do we make better connections,
with the best people possible.
- [Steve] You can learn from other peoples mistakes,
[Kim] Right right - Hi look, we are going to take a quick
break but we got more straight talk when we come back
(audience applauds)
(upbeat music)