hey everybody it's right here and
welcome to my 1 million subscriber draw
my life special which thank you by the
way for 1 million subscribers it has
been an absolute honor and I want to say
sorry it's all my friends and family who
I did not include in this I wish I'd
include every single one of you but
sadly we're on a time crunch I'm old you
know we got a lot of stuff to go over so
I guess we'll start from the beginning
my story begins in July 1993 in a very
small desert town in the middle of
nowhere Rozell New Mexico you might have
heard of it it's it's famous for an
alien crash that happened in the 40s so
I was born as the baby as the youngest -
the two greatest parents that I could
literally ever ask for they have saved
my butt billions of times and I have two
of the coolest most intelligent brothers
who I love and I love my whole entire
family so so so so much now growing up I
guess you could say like in school I was
kind of like a weird kid kind of a loner
kid I read I definitely was considered
not a cool kid just look at me
but it didn't really matter because back
home I had so much fun my brothers and I
we play PlayStation and Nintendo we eat
pizza watch movies and even though
they're eight and 10 years older than me
they never made me feel that way
and of course I started doing art to
pass the time and I loved it I instantly
fell in love with it now my parents
ended up getting a divorce when I was
nine and you know I kind of understood
you know sometimes people just don't
work out and they love me regardless now
eventually my mom remarried and my
family grew and I got sisters a new
stepbrother and I even became an aunt
thanks to the new marriage
now on to my teen years and this is
where how should I put this things get
interesting I got hella emo I did not
give two craps about school I became
super rebellious I only cared about my
friends who are still my friends this
day shout-out to you guys you know who
you are
and truly the only thing that I cared
about and poured my heart and soul into
was artwork I started taking it
seriously and I could just not get
enough of it oh yeah and I also started
to mess around with this fairly new
website called YouTube and I started
making videos from my laptop and boy
they were cringy hikes after I graduated
high school I decided to roll in one
year of Business School and I literally
did not even last a semester I hated it
so much and I even though I knew it was
risky I decided I only have one life to
live and I'm gonna pursue my art and I'm
gonna make it happen
no matter what so I enrolled at Eastern
New Mexico University to get my art
degree and during college my parents
weren't able to help me pay for school
so I worked my butt off I spent many
nights scrubbing toilets cleaning up
vomit dealing with drunk people I had
many many sleepless nights where I'd be
working my other job that would require
me to stay up all night long sleep for
maybe an hour to wake up go to school
come back and start working again
and it was hard work you know I'm not
gonna lie and then to try to keep up
your grades but I worked really hard for
what little coin I had and one of my
personal accomplishments is that when I
graduated I managed to graduate 100%
debt-free during college I was in a very
neglectful and borderline abusive
relationship and I was gonna dedicate a
whole section to all the hardships that
I went through a most emotional and
physical dating this guy but you know
he's not even worth the time of day so
I'm gonna sum him up with a quote his
sister once told me but I'm gonna switch
it up about him
he means nothing to me
he's just a boy and soon he'll be
forgotten and that's all I have to say
about that and you know later in life I
ended up meeting this wonderful guy he's
probably the only person I have ever met
that is like him and he's the only
person that I can truly 100% be myself
around and you guys might know him he's
made a cameo on my channel before Zach
Nye the Science Guy and you'll see why I
called that later
now with school ending in about two
months I was freaking out because I had
no jobs lined up I had no way to make
money and I was in full-on panic mode so
the only thing that I was good at what
kind of good at was making artwork so I
decided to turn my little tiny following
on Instagram to a 100% art Instagram and
one night in 2016 I made a super ghetto
makeshift art setup area I literally got
a table from Ikea that my brother handed
me down I got two chairs smush them
together i duct-taped my camera onto a
broom and I made my very first youtube
art video and you might know that video
as the do's and don'ts of drawing in I
hey guys welcome to my first drawing
video so today I'm going to be sharing
with you my top tips to getting a more
realistic eye and to my surprise that
video ended up getting 1 million views
which was of course it took a while but
that was like monumental to me cuz -
that to me that said that I could keep
doing this now after college my life
became an absolute disaster the only job
I was able to get fresh out of college
was a minimum-wage job
and anybody who is ever worked minimum
wage will tell you there is just no way
you can support yourself on minimum wage
now I was living in another town away
from my family and the only way I was
able to stay
was my previous savings for my other
jobs and just to give you guys an idea
of how tight money was I took Zack and I
to get $1 bean burritos from Taco Bell
when we got to the counter he asked if
he could add 40 cent potatoes to the
burrito and I had to tell him no I just
don't have that kind of money right now
I'm already going over budget you can't
add the potatoes and around this time I
had no Wi-Fi so a lot of my early art
videos I would head over to the Public
Library and I would use their free Wi-Fi
to upload my videos and you know promote
myself on Instagram and at the time I
truly felt that I was working for my
life it's either work hard or just be
stuck like this forever and I just knew
if I worked hard that maybe someday
someday I would get the benefits but you
know when it rains it freakin pours now
I was working a big five for about five
six months at this point and I got fired
from my job for something I didn't do a
manager threw me under the bus
and I got fired and as you can imagine
money was already so incredibly tight
and there goes my income and how am I
gonna stay afloat now and it was so
incredibly stressful because I had no
choice I didn't know what I was gonna be
able to do I didn't know how how money
was gonna be made and it just so
happened that that same week that I got
fired then my very first Adsense YouTube
check came in which was an absolute
miracle and I still remember it was $400
and at the time that was like
life-changing money like it could not
have came in at a better time than on
that same week that I got fired
talk about an absolute miracle and from
there everything started it's hurting
okay again I started focusing all my
time on my
to channel I was always filming ideas
thinking of ideas doing voiceovers I was
working on my Instagram I was finally
finally getting some money from my
YouTube channel and you know my channel
grew and eventually I had got to the
point where I hit 100,000 subscribers
which was such a monumental moment in my
life and everything was going okay until
it wasn't
around this time I lost my brother and I
can't even describe the kind of pain
that I go through every single day
I love them so so much and I miss it
every single day and I don't want to
talk about it and I'm not going into
detail and I'll talk about it when I'm
ready
uh it was also around this exact same
time that my stepdad was dealing with
some very bad health problems with his
lungs and he was very very sick in and
out of hospitals and my mom she was
needing a hip surgery double hip surgery
which made it hard to walk before the
surgery and after the surgery and it was
hard to take care of them and you know
mourn and and to make matters worse I
started sleeping up to 18 hours a day I
was having trouble seeing I was having
trouble remembering things my whole body
was swelling up it felt like I had the
worst flu of my life and it turns out
that I had a thyroid problem which if
you don't know tyroid basically controls
everything your body there's literally a
list of 300 symptoms that you can get
with thyroid problems and with thyroid
medication it's not just like one pill
and you're good it takes months and
months and months for your hormones to
get regulated if you can find the right
dosage and going through all this was by
far the hardest point in my life and
after months of just mourning emotional
pain physical pain stress I got the
first good news in a long long time and
that good news was that my boyfriend
Zach ended up getting a really awesome
job in a nearby town and I moved to the
nearby town I got my very first art
studio and it just so happens that the
town that he got a job in some of my two
best friends happen to live in this town
and I am so thankful that they're here
and this brings us to the year 2019
which has been one of the best years of
my life so far I got to travel alone for
the first time I went to Florida
California I went to playlist live I'm
gonna go to VidCon and I got to meet not
just youtubers but people I consider my
friends and on May 22nd 2019 my youtube
channel hit the milestone of 1 million
subscribers baby and I'm not gonna lie
it's been a tough tough road but
honestly I'm glad I got to experience
this thing called life and I'm glad that
you guys are here with me every step of
the way thank you guys so much again for
watching and I will see you next video
bye
[Music]
you