﻿10 Everyday Habits Ruining Your Life [0:00:00]
The first habit ruining your life, saying that I don’t have time. And, I get it, you’re a busy guy,
but the reality is you got as much time as anyone else. And you’re making a choice here, you’re
saying, “You know what? That is not a priority.” So, why not come out and actually say that?
Well, I’ll tell you the answer because if you said that, it sounds really harsh, especially to
your girlfriend who wants you to meet up with a dinner that you promised, but guess what?
You feel like you got to put in some more hours at the office, so you just don’t have time for it.
And, that, gentlemen, is why this habit is ruining your life because you’re not being honest
with yourself. If you actually said, you know, this isn’t a priority. Yeah,
it’s going to sound really harsh to your kids, to your family, to your friends.
When you are making a choice to spend time, yeah, just watching television or just going
off and doing whatever it is that you’re doing. You have to be accountable to yourself
when it comes to your time, so quit using that excuse, I don’t have time. Instead,
make time for the things that matter. [Music]
Next everyday habit that’s destroying your life, you blame other people for all your problems. And,
I get it, bad things happen to good people. You were doing great at your job and
unexpectedly you got fired because there were layoffs. They cut off that part of the company.
The weather, you couldn’t do anything that snowstorm that came in and you ended up
wrecking your vehicle. Yes, a lot of that is out of your control, but your reaction,
what you do next is in your control. And here is the thing. Whenever you give
up control, you say it’s not my fault, you blame others, you give up the ability to make the change
to be able to go in the direction you want to. And that’s what I want to stress, gentlemen.
It’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how do you react
to that situation. Because we all go through some tough times and some of you guys I know are going
through tougher times than what you expected. But, it’s going to be how you emerge out of this.
Are you going to be a diamond that’s been hardened by that heat and pressure? Or you’re just going to
be a piece of coal that’s going to disappear? I think you’ve got what it takes. And big part
of this, guys, is how you deal with the situation, how you roll
with the punches and come back stronger. Now, this next habit is one I think a lot
of us have fallen into, I know I did and that is having leisurely laid back mornings. Now,
my situation the habit that changed everything are gym shutdown, so all of a sudden I had this
extra hour and instead of exercising at home because I don’t have a home gym, I’m like,
you know what? I’m just going to answer emails in the morning, get a little bit ahead.
The problem is it’s not the best use of my time. And all of a sudden,
I started getting dragged into my company very early and started finding myself micromanaging
a lot of the projects before that I kind of let other people in my team manage.
To deal with this, I had to reign in that leisurely morning and define what it means to win
the morning. For me, it’s eating a high protein breakfast. So, five eggs, start the day with that.
All of sudden, I’m jumping in the shower, shaving, get ready for the day. Within 30 to 45 minutes,
all of a sudden, I’ve got things lined up, I’m ready to go and I’m coming in here to the office.
Now, is my morning routine now perfect? Of course not, it’s a work in progress.
And that’s what I’ve learned reading all these productivity books. It’s about taking steps in
the right direction. That one percent improvement every day that over time
compounds on each other and has a huge change over the period of a year.
And, in case you’re wondering, some of the books I used to research today’s video.
We’ve got Switch by Chip and Dan Heath. Next up, we’ve got Make Time by Knapp and Zeratsky. Then,
we’ve got the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. And then, we’ve got Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Now, that’s a lot of information and getting back to that first habit,
how do you make it a priority? How can you find the time to actually read
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Now, this next everyday habit that’s killing your success, this one is going to sound bad,
but you’re listening too much to the people you love. And this is what I mean.
So, it’s cold outside. Yeah, it’s 0 degrees and it’s windy it’s dark and my wife says, “Do not
go out and run. You know, you don’t need to do this, just stay in, we’re going to watch a movie.”
You know, that’s tough because I want to go out, I want to get in better shape,
I want to exercise and I’m getting my gear on. Here is the thing is sometimes you have to turn
it around. You got to say, “You know what? They just don’t understand what my goals are.” I love
my wife, I love my kids, but they have different priorities. And it’s not that they’re against me,
it’s just they’re more for themselves. My wife wants me around because she knows
that I’m going to make the popcorn for the kids. That the kids are going to jump on me, not jump
on her. She’ll be able to watch the movie. I get it, really the angle she’s going for.
Point being though is you’ve got to stick to your guns. And I find that I have fun with this,
I just simply tell my wife, “Oh, it’s beautiful outside. It’s only 5 degrees below 0 with that
wind chill. So, I’m going to go out and have a great run.” And I throw my stuff on,
put on my vest, you know, something a little bit bright and go out there for the run.
So, you’ve got to make sure that, hey, you love the people that you’re around,
but at the same time you got to take it with a grain of salt and realize
I’ve got to do what I need to do for myself. And speaking of TV, that’s the next habit, TV,
YouTube, computer screens, you know what I’m talking about. We default to this. We
don’t like being bored. Here’s the thing. It’s okay to be bored,
and what’s even better is to make commitments to others about places you want to go.
I know for me so I don’t fall to watching TV, I tell my daughters we’re going to go to the pool.
And, we usually go in the evenings and it really cut outs two to three hours of our night. My kids
love going to the pool. And I think it’s a relatively safe place with everything going on.
Point being is when I make that commitment to them, I can’t break it. And all of a sudden,
I’m locked in, I don’t have time to watch television. Get that default that you’re
falling into, why are you spending so much time in the afternoons in the evenings searching
and going in on, you know, hear YouTube. I get it, I put out some great stuff. I’d love for
you to watch all my videos, but what I really want is for you to become the man you know yourself to
be. So, it’s going to be the small things. And let’s go to the next point.
You’re just spending a lot of time on your phone. This one deserves its own point. So,
first up, go through that phone, I know what I do is I turn it off. I know it drives people
crazy when they can’t get a hold of me. But, for me, that’s not the point. I want
to be able to focus in on my work especially I’m not getting notified when messages are coming in,
when emails are coming in. I’ve actually turned those off.
Now, I get it, if that’s your work and if you have to be tied in. But, I think for a lot of us, we
just leave these things on and those notifications those messages other people especially those
algorithms, Facebook, they’re just coming in and they are ruining your day, you’re ruining
your ability to stay focused and concentrated. Now, this next point, I alluded to earlier when
I talked about the running and that is that so many people don’t want to get uncomfortable. I
get it. You want to sit on the couch, you want to relax, you’ve had a tough day.
But, actually if you learn to embrace the suck -- and this is something I picked up in the military
and I know many of you guys have learned, hey, if I actually learn to enjoy putting myself in,
these somewhat uncomfortable situations all of a sudden I can set myself apart from the crowd.
I can find, yes, it’s freezing outside, negative 5, that’s not fun to run in. But, I get the right
equipment, I have my mittens, I have my hat, get my neck gaiter, I have two layers of clothing and
all of a sudden, it’s very tolerable. In fact, it starts to feel good once you get started.
And that is the next thing. The next point here is to get started. Procrastination,
this is a daily habit that so many of us fall into. You just got to take that first step.
I know for me, flossing my teeth, I actually don’t like it. But, my dentist says, “Hey,
every tooth that you don’t floss, you’re going to lose over time,
so make sure to floss them.” I want to keep my teeth. And what my dentist recommended
is starting off with one tooth. Because here’s the thing, when you floss one tooth,
it’s very easy then to go to the next one. It’s the same thing with doing a pushup,
doing a pull up. Do one. You don’t have to do a crazy amount. When it comes to reading
a book in the morning, you don’t have to read the entire book. Read one page. Read for one
minute. Set the bar really low whenever you just wanted to get started with something.
It shouldn’t take more than two minutes for that – for that initial getting into that habit. But,
if you do that and you get started, you’re going to oftentimes find that
you’re going to follow through and you’re going to do everything that you need to.
Now, this next everyday habit that can kill your success,
isolation, and I fell into this one a bit this year. Because I think we all did, we just couldn’t
travel as much. Conferences were cancelled. I used to go to a conference almost every month.
I love meeting and engaging with new people, following up, getting to know them. And,
I didn’t do that much this last year. [0:10:05]
What I’m doing to correct this though, I am joining and I’ve created mastermind groups.
And this is where you choose who you’re going to join with or maybe you create it yourself and you
get to choose who joins. That’s the best thing. But, all of a sudden, you’re surrounding yourself
with people and, yes, I know it’s Zoom, it’s a video conference. It’s not the same thing,
but it’s at least a start because you want to be around people that think like you do.
It doesn’t have to be just for business. You could do this actually personally. If you’re
big into comics, if you’re like wondering what’s going to go on with the new Game of Throne stuff,
then form a mastermind group and what you guys talk theory on what’s going on. That is better
than simply surrounding yourself with nobody because that’s what a lot of us have done.
And, here’s what happens to your brain in isolation. It shrinks. All of a sudden, you’re
not bouncing ideas off of other people, hearing things that you wouldn’t have heard, having new
ideas introduced. Find and be selective about the people that you have in this mastermind.
But, make sure that you do something like that because if you don’t have a circle of friends,
of people with the similar interest that are exposing you to maybe some other things,
then your brain is getting smaller, gents, and we don’t want that to happen.
The next bad habit that’s ruining your life and this one is getting worse and worse,
I don’t see it getting better, so you’ve got to learn to control it and to cut it off,
comparing yourself to others. Instagram, Facebook, we see other guys that we went to school with
and they’ve got great looking jobs, awesome cars, a beautiful wife, multiple kids.
And, yeah, we want that because we’re single, we just went through
a really bad breakup, we just lost our job and we’re thinking this guy has everything.
I have nothing, I am obviously a loser. If you’re doing that, if your happiness is based
off the comparison of others, gents, you are never going to be happy. Because what you don’t see is
that this guy has considered suicide. This guy is not very happy, that his wife is controlling him,
that he just feels he wants to get out of this relationship that he feels like his kids aren’t
even connecting with him, that his work on a job that he hates. You don’t know this.
And here is the thing. If you base what is, you know, your satisfaction, you know, how
you’re going to be satisfied with what you’ve done with your life based off what you see out there,
you are never going to be able to find the place where you want to be,
the place of fulfillment and of contentment. All right, gents, so what video to watch next?
How about eleven skills that every man must master? Well, you don’t have to
master every single one of them, but I think that you need to know these eleven skills.
What are they? Find out, gents, in this video right here, which I’m going to hold up,
so you can click on it. Or you can click in the description. I’ll link to it over there. But, yes,
check it out, good video. [0:12:36] End of video