The Problem With "What Resonates" With You
If you have spent any time at all
in modern spiritual circles
or self-help circles,
you know that the indicator people use
for whether something is true
or whether something is right for them
is whether it "resonates" with them.
When something resonates,
it produces or is filled with a deep full reverberating sound.
We could say that when this happens
the sound vibration is expanded or amplified.
When a person says that something resonates with them,
essentially what they're saying is that
that thing is matched to their current experiences,
current awareness, current perspective, or current conscious desires.
Because of this
it causes an amplification of their own personal vibration,
which includes their current experience,
awareness perspective and desires etc.
And because of this when something resonates,
it holds meaning to the person.
We could say that when something resonates with you
it's a deeply validating experience.
This is why we experience it as a confirmation or yes.
It is also why to the opposite,
when something does not match our current experience,
awareness perspective or desire and therefore it doesn't resonate with us,
we experience it as an invalidation
a contradiction to our sense of self and our reality
and therefore a no.
I find it amusing
that when people say that something resonates with them
what they're usually referring to is
either a painful thing they have already accepted
or they're usually referring to a positive thing.
When we encounter something that is a match
to something within ourselves
that we are wanting desperately to avoid
because we associate it with pain
This will actually also cause us to "resonate".
It's just that the amplification
that is caused is a painful one, instead of a positive one.
It will strike a negative chord with us,
instead of a positive one.
That's actually still "resonating".
Just it's a trigger this time,
instead of something that's a yes.
So if you look at everything that I've just said,
if you look at this definition of what it means to resonate,
if you look at what's actually happening when somebody is resonating
with something or against something,
it's very easy to see that to "resonate"
is a double-edged sword.
For example, on the one hand,
if something does resonate with you
it could indicate that something is in alignment with you
or your true purpose, is true, is a validation
is a match to your desires,
or that something is compatible to you,
or that you're understood, etc.
But it can also mean
that someone's reinforcing one of your shadows,
enabling you, agreeing to what doesn't serve you,
offering a solution that allows you to avoid what you want to avoid,
solidifying your limited perspective, etc.
On the one hand,
when something does not resonate with you,
it can indicate that you have encountered a miss truth,
someone's being inauthentic,
you're not understood,
something's out of alignment,
something is incompatible to you,
it is not a match to your desires, etc.
But it can also mean
that you are being introduced to an experience
that will alter your current perspective
on awareness that will break you free,
but that invalidates the limited awareness you currently hold.
Your conscious mind is being confronted
with something in your subconscious that you don't want to see.
You're being offered something that will serve you immensely,
but that is the opposite of avoidance.
Someone is expressing something about themselves
that you refuse to accept.
Your pre-existing programming is being undone.
You're being introduced to a truth is inconsistent with
your highly limited grasp of truth, etc.
The problem with what "resonates" with you,
is that you're essentially saying it's a match to those
perceptions that you already hold.
It's a match to the vibration you're already in.
That includes your conscious desires.
Now, we all know that
that implies agreement.
If something resonates with you,
it implies agreement.
And we all know that disagreement or discord
which is the opposite of agreement,
is not always a bad thing is it?
Because if we have a limited belief,
it's not really a great thing
when somebody agrees with it.
Sometimes the very best thing for you
is when something that won't resonate with you,
introduces itself to your frequency and therefore changes it.
Discordance does not always imply
that something as false or wrong.
For example, as it applies to thoughts
when someone's thoughts are in consonants with our own thoughts
on a subject, we agree with one another,
we feel were are in synch and so their thoughts resonate with us.
So you can understand the limits of what "resonates" with me,
I'm going to give you a very short list of examples,
because if I gave you a long list, we could be here all day long.
Item number 1,
let's imagine that there's a woman and she's hyper controlling.
Now let's say that this woman
doesn't like willow.
Willow trees,
willow bushes,
does not like them.
Doesn't like the energy.
And in fact, even though this woman
has chronic headaches,
willow bark extract,
is something she's allergic to.
~ Laughter ~
Now this could be one of these scenarios where,
I have to tell you about willow.
Willow as a consciousness and as a frequency
is a master of the state of allowing.
Now obviously somebody who's hyper controlling
has become that way because
they've learned that that's the very best way to stay safe.
So even the encountering
of any energy within this universe
that's in an allowing type of a state,
is gonna cause her to encounter fear.
Is she gonna say that that thing resonates with her?
No.
Even though allowing
and those things that might teach her allowing
are the very thing which she needs,
she's gonna say:
"Willow just doesn't resonate."
2. A man is in a relationship
with a woman who's using him for money.
She uses sex and affection to keep him committed to her
and loves to spend time with him
so he will take her on fancy getaways.
Everyone around him can see this,
when they bring it to his attention he says:
"No that doesn't resonate with me,
because she's so affectionate and trust me,
She complains when I'm not around.
3. A woman is raised in a society
that leads her to believe
the only way to be of value to society
and the only way to stay a good person,
is if she lets go of her life
and sacrifices her life for the sake of having these children.
Let's say she always wanted to be a lawyer,
but she puts that to the side,
because of this belief that society has filled her with.
Now the children grow up
knowing that the woman doesn't really want to be a mother.
Why? Because she constantly reminds them
of how she gave up everything for them.
She constantly demands gratitude for it.
She constantly feels resentful
and the children pick that up from her.
These children are going to turn around and tell her.
Something along the lines of this:
"Mom, you never wanted to be a mother."
But she's gonna say:
"That does not resonate with me.
I have given my whole life up to be a mother."
4.
Let's say a black person
goes into a company to try to get a job from that company
and it doesn't happen.
In fact, they give the job to somebody much less qualified.
Now the real reason they gave this job
to somebody much less qualified,
is because that person is a friend of the friend of the bosses.
Should they have gotten the job?
Probably not.
However, we all know how it works. It's all about relationships.
Now let's say that this black person
is hanging out with another friend of theirs and they say:
"Well, you know why you didn't get the job, that company is full of crackers."
Because this person
has had experience in their life with racism,
that is immediately going to resonate with them.
it's going to resonate with them to the degree
that they now accept that that is the meaning
and the reason why they didn't get the job.
When in fact, it isn't the case.
5. A person has grown up in a Christian community.
They have a particularly hard time in life
and so they start praying.
They hear a voice speaking back to them offering them comfort.
This voice is in fact their own voice.
It's a coping part of themselves
that's contradicting their negative thought with positive thought.
When someone says this is what's happening, they'll say:
"No that just doesn't resonate with me."
"It was Jesus speaking to me."
6. This is my personal favorite;
A person goes to a self-help seminar.
Now, this person does not like the idea
that they have to become aware
of their childhood,
in order to become aware of their current patterns.
They don't like the idea that they have to look at their childhood
through the lens of: "What did my mom and dad do wrong?"
Why? Because they want to stay close to mom and dad
and they distrust their ability to do that if they see them in reality.
Also on top of that,
there's nothing they can do about it anyway.
In fact, that's what they're thinking, right?
If I see what they did bad and I see why I have this pattern,
I can't fix it anyways,
because the past is the past.
So they get frustrated
when they are encountering anybody whose perspective is:
"You need to actually create resolve to these patterns
and see them clearly so they don't repeat."
So let's say they go to a self help seminar
and they sit in front of somebody who's on stage
and this teacher says:
"DON'T look at your past."
"There's no reason to do it."
"Your past life is a past life,
leave it that way."
"In fact, any focus on it just reactivates the patterns."
"Just focus entirely on what you want right now."
"Make that the only thing
that you lend your energy to."
This person's gonna say what?
"OH MY GOD! It resonates so much."
You get the point.
we could literally be here all day long
assessing these scenarios
where when somebody says it "resonates" with me,
it is absolutely no indication of whether or not it is objectively true,
or right, or even right for someone.
~ Laughter ~
What you need to become the most aware of is that
anything that's buried deep enough within your subconscious mind
anything you are in deep enough denial of
will not positively resonate with you.
Either it will elicit no reaction,
or it will trigger you.
Meaning it will resonate with something you are trying desperately to avoid.
Let me say this in another way;
If you are interested in awareness,
you cannot have what "resonates" with you
be the indicator of whether or not
something is true,
or whether or not something is right,
or even as a permanent fixture
rely upon what resonates
as an absolute indication that something is right for you.
By definition your subconscious
is what you don't know that you don't know.
Your subconscious
is full of things
that you have rejected, denied, suppressed and disowned.
Therefore it is more likely
that anything that is in your subconscious mind
will not resonate with you at all.
To expand your awareness around some of this,
you would benefit by watching two of my videos.
The first is titled:
The Biggest Barrier to Awareness
and the second is titled:
Self Concept, The Enemy of Awakening
Does this mean that you shouldn't pay attention
when something resonates?
Hell no!
In fact, the exact opposite.
when something resonates with you,
it's a calling to pay intense amounts of attention.
But specifically attention to:
Why?
Why is something resonating with you?
Whether that resonance is positive
or to the opposite a trigger.
You should also be open to
any number of potential answers
to that question, of why.
When something resonates or doesn't,
that resonance or dissonance is always telling you something.
Just remember that your interpretation
of what it is telling you,
is potentially not on point.
To commit to awareness,
we have to be open to exploring
all perspectives around anything.
To genuinely step into a space of awareness,
we have to treat every reaction within ourselves,
this includes dissonance and resonance patterns,
as an alarm bell
calling us into questioning,
calling us into curiosity,
calling us into a further exploration
of awareness.
And remember,
the more aware you become,
the more what resonates with you will change.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com