-Fact -- girls are trouble and love is stupid.
Do yourselves a favor and never fall in love.
You're just gonna end up with a broken heart
and a lot of wasted time.
I mean, really you shouldn't fall in love
until you get married, so until then,
it's all about having a good time...
and I've always felt that way.
But today, somehow, I forgot all of this.
And, well, you see, I am, uh...
[ Sighs ]
Know what?
I'll just tell you the whole story.
So, it all started this morning.
You see, today was a big day for me --
the first day of fourth grade,
and so far, it was looking great.
My best friend Luis was in the class,
the teacher was nice,
and the class didn't look too bad, either.
But anyways, girls -- I've never really liked them.
I mean, girls are fine for playing Tag
and Hide-and-Seek and stuff,
but being boyfriend and girlfriend?
[ Retching ] That's just weird.
Sure, some girls are pretty... [ Wolf-whistle ]
...but they're into Barbie, Hello Kitty,
One Direction type stuff.
What are we supposed to talk about?
I'm not a racist or anything,
but if I'm being honest with myself,
I'd say, "Yes, all girls are lame."
That being said, I knew I was in for a great year.
So where did it all go wrong?
Katie Thompson --
one of the most prettiest girls of fourth grade.
But what really got my attention was her pencil pouch.
[ Lightsaber whizzes, wookie howls ]
[ Lasers fire, robots beeping ]
Did she like "Star Wars"?
She could be one of those lames
that buy the stuff but aren't really about it.
I had to ask.
Hey, Katie?
-Oh, hey, Ivan!
-Katie, I couldn't help but notice your pencil pouch.
Do you really like "Star Wars"?
-Oh, yeah. Why? Do you?
-Oh, really? Who's your favorite character, then?
-Shaak Ti.
I was her for Halloween last year.
Me and my mom made the costume...
-And she knew her stuff, and that was it.
[ The Ronettes's "Be My Baby" plays ]
-The night we met, I knew I needed you so
And if I had the chance, I'd never let you go
-And just then, I knew we were meant to be.
[ Thwack! ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
[ Gasps ]
I felt sick.
It all happened so fast,
I didn't even think about what I was doing.
She's way taller than me!
She's not gonna like me.
But then...
[ Thwack! ]
[ Sighs ]
[ The Ronettes's "Be My Baby" plays ]
-Be my, be my baby
-Be my little baby
-My one and only
-Say you'll be my darling
-Be my, be my baby
-Be my baby now
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
So come on, little baby
-Being in love was really working out for me.
And, yes, my theory was all wrong.
I mean, even Luis thought she was cool!
But then...
-Be my baby now
Oh, oh, oh, oh
[ Blues music plays ]
-Sidney Hart.
And next to her, a 3DS...
[ Game chiming, beeping ]
...XL.
Holy cow.
-Well, if you want a love
That's strong, girl
-I didn't even know girls liked video games.
Suddenly, I had this feeling that maybe I settled too soon.
Maybe I made the wrong choice.
[ School bell rings ]
I was torn.
I still liked Katie very much,
but now Sidney was all I could think of.
[ Game chiming, beeping ]
[ Sighs ]
And that's when I knew
that I had to cut things off with me and Katie.
Life only gives you a few great opportunities.
You got to take them while you can.
Look, this is gonna be hard for me to say
and hard for you to hear.
So please appreciate my honesty.
-What?
-[ Sighs ]
We can't be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore.
I fell in love with someone else.
With Sidney, right over there.
[ Game chiming, beeping ]
Anyways, I hope we can still be friends.
It's a funny thing, you know?
One moment you're in love, and the next, you're not.
But what can I say?
The heart wants what the heart wants.
-Uh, I'm not allowed to have boyfriends yet.
[ Game chiming, beeping ]
-What?
So listen, I changed my mind.
I think we should be boyfriend and girlfriend again.
-You're too late!
[ Surf music playing ]
-Can you belive it?
Can you frickin' believe it?
I keep a short list of people who done me wrong,
and Luis is now on it.
Frickin' butt hole.
Oh, and then...
[ Thwack! ]
Thanks, Lisa.
You see what I mean?
And it all would've been avoided
if I didn't fall in love in the first place.
Look. We've got our entire lives ahead of us.
We're too young to be falling in love.
Our brain isn't even --
Both: Oh, um...
-Um...
-Okay.
[ Funk music playing ]
-Never mind.