Is it bad that Americans avoid talking politics with family, friends?
How is it done in Germany? Here’s what I’m thinking.
Let me know down in the comments what you’re thinking.
Hey everyone, Dana here.
Back in 2016 I made a video titled 4 Questions Not to Ask Americans, which now has almost
a million views, I’ll link to the video up here if you’d like to check it out.
In that video one of the four questions that I mentioned was about politics.
Specifically that you shouldn’t ask who someone voted for because I grew up learning
that in the U.S. that’s considered a pretty rude thing to ask someone - who they voted for.
But also just in general, I’ve noticed that in the U.S. we seem to spend an awful lot
of energy trying to do basically everything we can not to talk about politics.
To avoid that subject.
Growing up I can often remember hearing in, like, I think movies, TV shows,
elsewhere in the world around me.
Just kind of, it was a thing that was often said: what topics you should never bring up
at a party. Sex, money, religion, politics.
And I never really gave it much thought. That’s just how it was.
Then I moved to Europe and I noticed that people here were asking me a lot of questions
at parties about politics.
Which was very much breaking one of the, you know, “golden rules” in America that I
had grown up with, don’t talk about politics, especially not at a party.
But yeah, in Europe, or at least here in Germany in particular, from my experience it seems
like it’s quite normal to talk about politics at parties, with your friends, with your family.
In the U.S. I can recall around, like, Thanksgiving and Christmas seeing articles about how to
avoid talking about politics with your family.
How to stay away from hot-button political topics.
Have you noticed this to be the case? Let me know in the comments.
In fact, in Germany it’s been my experience that talking about politics is actually a
perfectly fine and even wonderfully acceptable topic of conversation.
Attempting to stay away from political topics actually, seems to me to be judged here
as kind of a bad thing.
I get the feeling that here in Germany it’s like, you should definitely talk about political
topics with your friends and your family, even if you disagree.
Or maybe especially if you disagree.
Get the topic out on the table, examine it from different angles, talk about it,
think about it from different points of view.
And afterwards, guess what?
You can still enjoy the rest of your time together. That’s key.
Here in Germany it’s been my experience that people are okay with openly disagreeing
with each other, even sometimes getting kind of heated about it, also about the so-called
“hot button topics.”
And then still being okay to move onto other conversations afterwards.
It doesn't have to ruin the evening.
It doesn't have to change the whole mood in the room for the rest of the evening.
Whereas in the U.S., I don’t think we really learn growing up in the U.S. how to have these
sometimes quite hard political conversations, political disagreements with friends and family,
extended family.
At least I don’t think I really learned that growing up in the U.S.
But even in 2016 when I made that video, when I said, like, don’t ask Americans who they
voted for, there was already this little voice in the back of my head like,
ummm but maybe that’s not such a good thing.
Like, okay, I guess you don’t have to focus the whole conversation on who the other person
voted for specifically, but I’m thinking it might actually be better if we learned
from a young age how to have political discussions, how to disagree with other people about politics,
and how to talk about tricky topics and express ourselves in political discussions.
Rather than learning, as I kind of did, that the polite thing to do is to try to jump through
as many hoops as necessary at parties and get-togethers in order to avoid political
conversations as best as possible, especially if you know that the people you’re spending
time with disagree on some tricky, hot-button topics.
Do you think we should be taught as kids how to talk about politics and learn to respectfully
debate things with each other? Let me know down in the comments
I can’t count how many times in my life in the U.S. I said something like,
yeah so and so and I disagree on this topic but we’re friends because we just avoid talking about it.
And I said that like it was a good thing. Like, yeah!
We’ve been able to avoid talking about it in our whole 4 year friendship! Go us.
But now I’m thinking maybe not. Maybe that’s not such a good thing.
Yes, these conversations are hard, but maybe they would be easier if we learned as kids
how to have them, how to have them respectfully, how to talk about something that you disagree
on with someone respectfully, and if we learned that it’s not, you know,
the “polite thing to do” to try to avoid these hard political topics, if we learned that it’s okay to
disagree with your friends and family.
So my question for you is: How do you feel about talking about politics at parties?
Have you seen a difference in how this is handled in different countries around the world?
Please let me know in the comments below.
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