has there been a situation in which you took something too personally how do you
avoid taking things personally so the initial reaction is like no man
don't take things too personally you know what keeps you but the actual fact
is yeah I take things I take everything personally
right like I mean I if I do something bad I am very personally I don't like it
at all if I do something poorly I don't like it at all I take it very personal
if somebody gives me feedback I take it personally this is like it's an ego
thing it's a pure ego thing right and I just had to say this at a group us
talking to just because I say ego is bad all the time he goes good - mmm egos
what drives you ego is what makes you want to be number one ego is what is
brings you pride in your work it makes you work harder to give deliver good
product and and be a good leader and a good employee and a good person right
that's ego the problem comes when ego or taking things personally actually
prevents you from listening to the critiques that you're being told that's
that's the problem so for instance we'll take this little podcast right here it's
got some critique on it the other day yeah I got somebody somebody sent me a
little critique and they said that I didn't explain because we had Andy slump
phone here and Andy was kind of rattling off that is his career in the teams and
he was rattling off the career in the teams he lost some people not a bunch
because it wasn't that complicated but he lost some people and in for instance
he used an acronym or an acronym LPL which stands for leading petty officer
which is the which is the second senior enlisted person in a seal platoon and I
didn't explain that when he said it so there's an example so when I heard this
my first reaction is like oh you don't know what LPO is called go google go
google it why are you asking me Oh Bryce just stop talking and then that
was pretty much you know my my ego was saying hey I can't believe this person -
yeah how dare you how dare you and then I as I thought about was like well you
know I need to be I need to make sure in the future that I'm more
that I'm more aware of what guys are talking especially when I'm sitting here
talking to it another seal who we have a common language and we are talking about
things in very conversational mode so we're not caring about anybody else and
that's sort of what the podcast is often is like we're not we're not talking to
everyone that's listening at this moment we're just kind of talking to ourselves
or amongst ourselves and so when he throws out this words I need to be more
aware of them so if I took it personally I might not listen if I actually listen
I can do a better job so that's that's kind of it
you've been basically that's the same with anybody when anybody receives any
criticism of any kind hmm they get they take it personally
and I think the thing is two things number one get over it so you can listen
to what the criticism is in and also remember this this is kind of weird I I
think maybe I'm wrong what do you think the more angry and the more personally
you take some criticism the truer it actually is is that possible when
something really bothers you it's probably something that really bothers
you because you know it's true yeah like when somebody says something
that just doesn't matter to me it's you know I don't take it personally oh yeah
they just think that don't worry about it I'm not worried about it but when
somebody says something that I know is true and they're pingy me that means I
get even more take it more personally and get more angry about it and and then
that should be an indicator hey this is something you actually need to fix yeah
it actually has to do with insecurity more than anything so aqumarine it can
be super true or it can be kinda true or you can just be questioning and whether
or not it's true if you're insecure about it that's when it's gonna because
you can be like there can be okay you know let's say guys have a receding
hairline and they're like oh I don't I don't care about that at all it's
totally true you know and or let's say I do care about it I don't like it but
I've known it for the last time I'm not 20 years whatever and so I was like hey
you know your hairlines receding care about that I don't I don't think you
know I don't know just saying there are certain things
that's and if you know about it or you know and you know it's true and see you
won't necessarily be bothered by it but if you get someone who's like it's
starting to recede or it's early on or it's like gang and they won't
necessarily be this is just an example hypothetical but they won't necessarily
be concerned about the actual hairline receding they're more concerned about oh
do I look older and my unattractive now or am I losing it now or something like
that that's what they're insecure about so when someone points out some symptom
of that insecurity that's when they're like well you go to say that or you know
they get on oh man that goes for kind of anything so
maybe I don't know maybe it's someone saying hey you didn't explain this
enough maybe you're like wait what do you say
was that a junk episode kind of thing or something like did I not you know how
you you're good at explaining stuff and simplifying them whatever maybe it was
like a maybe a personal point of pride yeah yeah yeah but maybe but that's
typically what people get mad about it's not necessarily if they know it's true
or not it's if they're insecure about it right well you wouldn't be insecure
about something that wasn't true nobody here's the thing sometimes you do
because you know and you know sometimes it's like a weird like mental like
problem but you know girls for example I'm not saying all girls but I'm gonna
totally generalize right now but you know the girl is like hey do I look fat
in this the girls like an awesome shape or whatever and you're like they always
think they're fat it's not true that's not the right response by the way you
know it's like that kind of stuff you know people are just insecure about
stuff sometimes oh and even though the girls in really good shape yeah yeah
even guys when especially like if they're into like their physique or
something like that where I don't know they're at a party or so I've heard guys
like they go to parties and they'll do like dips or push-ups before they walk
in it's like so they're like more pumped I swear and is that why you're doing
some pushing
like yeah you're just a little insecure about what I said anyway you know
they'll get that kind where they'll be like oh I'm they'll think that I'm not
looking very cut up or something yeah yeah you know like that can stuff well
they're not true yeah yeah no I think I think that's a good point and I think
the bottom line is when we take things personally I think it's actually not a
negative thing because it means that you're there's probably something that
you need to work on but I think what we need to watch out for is taking it
personally and therefore being mad and either being mad at the person that told
you which the person probably could be out of line you know saying some stuff
that's offensive but even if someone offends you okay
well let's fix it so you don't have that that that weakness or that insecurity
anymore and so just know what your red flags are know when you're taking
something everybody takes stuff personally yeah I'm like mister
detachment and I take some personal time when somebody says something to me I'm
like okay hey why'd I go how do you do better yeah you do a good job with
seeing the big picture though you know like but because a lot times you know
when I always think back to the you know the relationship like okay let's say
let's say I'm at home I'm mowing the lawn I you know did all this these great
housework chores whatever it you know dad comes home mom comes home and
they're like hey I thought I told you to take out the trash meanwhile everything
else is spic and span so I'm like I'm mad you know how dare you say that to me
when I did this me me my thing my thing but at the same time they're right you
know so you do a good job of like you'd be able to kind of recognize that even
though you probably feel the same readiness you won't your default isn't
who do sit and fight back in it and make the problem bigger it's kind of like
you'll feel it on the inside and recognize the red flags what's happening
oh yeah oh cool but I don't remember take out the chest because the truth is
that's correct right as you do doesn't matter if you did the lawn or not the
trash was a thing you know