(upbeat music)
- Hi ladies, I brought the bagels
for the book club this afternoon.
- Oh, of course you did.
- Morgan, I hope you're bringing your famous
blueberry muffins for the bake sale on Thursday.
- Of course I am, but I'm gonna do them as cranberry
because blueberries are out of season
and I don't need pesticides in all those kids.
- Fine.
So ladies, I'm looking for volunteers
to bring juice boxes for the car wash fund raiser.
- Oh, I'll bring some raw milk, chia, hempseed smoothies.
Much healthier, no sugar.
- Sounds disgusting.
- I'm gonna transcend that comment right now.
I've been meaning to tell you guys
this morning Arachnid said he didn't wan to nurse,
I think he's weaning.
I don't think I'm ready for it.
- Isn't Arachnid in third grade?
- Yeah.
- You know what though,
I've done a ton of research on breastfeeding
and actually in most countries it is totally common
for moms not to wean until six, seven years old.
I'm gonna send you guys all a link to Doctor Sear's website
because every parent should read what he's has to say.
- Oh god, we don't have a computer.
No, we got her a typewriter.
It's just really important to us
that she's raised strictly authentic.
Like, she's only listened to vinyl,
none of that MP3 processed stuff.
- I'm here, I'm here.
What day is it today?
(beep)
Oh my god, I locked my keys in my car.
I'm here, I'm here.
Wait is it Tuesday?
Is it soccer practice?
No book club.
Oh, was it my day to bring the bagels?
- No, no I've got the bagels.
- Oh thank god.
- But you have something on your shirt.
- Poop or chocolate, poop or chocolate?
No one knows.
Chocolate.
Thank god, last time it was poop.
Oh, good protein though.
You know what Karen,
you're a real bitch for bringing those bagels.
You knew I was gonna forget 'em.
It's not my fault your child can't eat gluten.