- [Carolina] What are you hesitant to tell me?
- I think when you leave I'm going to be,
or I was hesitant to tell you that
I'm curious to see how we function without each other.
I was curious to tell you that
because I didn't know how you would take that.
- Okay.
And so now I answer?
- Or you can comment on it or you can yeah.
- So like, you're hesitant to tell me like,
what our lives would be without each other when I leave?
- Yeah, 'cause it's kind of like affirms
that we're going to leave and stuff.
- Yeah.
- I'm always hesitant to talk about that, and like
try to, lately, we've been trying
to live in the moment, you know?
- Yeah, yeah.
But I realize that.
That's just like part of your personality.
- Yeah.
- Is to postpone the reality of things.
(laughing)
Until it really comes into your face
and like punches you in it.
(laughing)
You're like, whoa!
(laughing)
If you could change one thing
about me, what would it be?
- I don't know if I would change it.
But, it's your ability to like, switch off.
But maybe that's a good thing.
- It's called flat affect.
(laughing)
- Is that it?
- I've learned about it.
- Because it's so, it's so-
- It's what psychologists do.
- Disheartening to be in a heated debate with you,
or like if our passions are high,
and then you have this ability to just turn off.
- Yeah.
- And walk away.
And it's like, and I'm left with this like
ball of emotion, and I don't know where to put it.
And I'm like, where you going?
- Yeah.
- And you're like, yeah I got to go right now.
I'll see you in a bit.
- Yeah.
- And it's so like cold and emotionless.
- I know.
I know and I'm getting better with that with you.
- I don't know if I would change that though.
It might be a healthy thing.
(laughing)
- I just, I do it as a self defense mechanism.
You know?
- Yeah.
You're just super good at it.
(laughing)
- When you learn how to start doing that at 7,
you get pretty good at it.
- Yeah.
When was the last time you questioned
ending our relationship and why didn't you?
- Like, a couple months ago.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah I remember.
- Why didn't I?
Because I love you, and you always convince me that
this is worth it, and we can make whatever it is
a situation that we're going through work out.
Like, and then you also convince me that you're going to
change whatever it is that bothers me about you.
- What was it specifically that made-
Where were we?
What brought us to that point?
Or I think we had miscommunicated on something.
- Yeah, I think the reason why
I thought of it, now I remember,
was because I was leaving,
and like I was thinking for a while
like it would be easier to just
like end things before like leaving.
Because it could like, give me like closure with you.
- It's be easier.
- An ability to just like, yeah like you know
not deal with you, not like be with you all the time,
before I left to kind of like get used to it.
You know?
- Yeah.
- But then you were like, you know like,
It doesn't make sense we might as well enjoy
like the rest of what we have together.
And that makes sense.
- Do you think we'll stay together after I move?
Oh wait I think that's yours.
- Oh, do you think we'll stay together
after I move to New Orleans?
I think you know that.
I think we've talked about this before and like,
you know that I'm not going to do long distance.
Because it's never been something
that has worked for me before.
And I just find it difficult
to be with somebody that I love
when I'm like 900 miles away from them.
- Right.
- Because I want you there.
So, no.
You know that.
- Yeah, I've known that.
And I think like, I've wanted
to prolong reality long enough
to like, always try to play with the notion.
- Yeah.
- And I have looked at some, you know
I've looked at some jobs in New Orleans
and I've checked into it.
- Yeah.
- And obviously this wouldn't be like the,
it'd be a super romantic thing to do.
- Yeah.
- Right now, but I don't need
to be super romantic right now I don't think.
- Exactly.
- I think I need to grow up a little bit right now.
- Do you believe there is the one for you?
- The one in general?
- Yeah, like the one.
- I mean, I think you can find love in a lot of places
but I think you can only find certain types
of love with certain types of people.
And a certain one specific person.
So maybe yeah.
I mean, I think there is, I don't know.
No, not in like the,
I don't know the stereotypical
sense of that I think is the one.
- And am I it?
- Yeah, right now you're it.
I have my focus on you.
Again the dynamic's going to be odd
when we leave but, I know that I've
found something that I want.
And I've tried that you know?
And I'd be willing to continue it.
And I'd be willing to keep it growing and-
- Foster it.
- Foster.
(laughing)
- I said foster baby.
- I guess, I don't really
understand that idea of the one.
What does that mean?
The one.
- Like, I don't know.
- Is everything that you could ever want in a person.
- Predestined to be-
- Like this perfect person for me?
- Yeah, maybe the one.
- I don't know, because I don't know
if I could just forever understand,
I don't know, being with,
I don't know if I understand that.
The one, I don't know if I get that.
- So you don't believe in that?
- I don't know if I do believe in it or not.
Like what is the one?
I love so many people and I love-
- It's like the Disney story version.
- No, I don't think so.
- Or maybe not.
- I don't believe in that.
- Or maybe the one for you.
- And are you it?
I think we need to like,
I think there's a lot that we need to work on.
And there's like the whole dynamic that I'm leaving.
- Right.
- And the whole dynamic that you know, we're separating.
That makes that not a reality right now.
So I don't think that I would believe
in this whole statement right now.
But not because I love you any less.
- Right.
- I love you, and I see, sometimes
I picture a future together.
But is it a reality for us right now?
No.
- [John] Makes sense.